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Introduction- Paraphrase question statement clearly
shares a major contribution- contributes greatly to happiness
Cash- money
Promote- promotes
BP1: To emabark on- on the one hand
The state- a state
Never feel- would never feel
BP2: As moving further- On the other hand
makes people cherish- can make people happy
As the reason behind, is that- comma is incorrectly used – Start with The reason behind this is that
The another- another
Conclusion- Family pillar- supportive family
Band Score-3/6 Keep Writing!
