JUBYAdministratorAugust 10, 2021 at 12:19 AM
Overall it’s a good attempt except for certain grammatical errors.
Appreciate the usage of cohesive words like “on the one hand”, “to begin with” etc.
Be careful of the article usage. For example: add ‘the’ before population, add ‘the’ before local community
Found some incorrect usage of prepositions.
Reduce the use of repetitive words.
Band score 3/6.