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OPENING STATEMENT: Rewrite it more clearly
BP2: On another aspect- On the other hand
for the people: for people
the people- people
making- it will make
BP 3: most need- need
BAND SCORE: 2/3 Keep Writing!
OPENING STATEMENT: Rewrite it more clearly
BP2: On another aspect- On the other hand
for the people: for people
the people- people
making- it will make
BP 3: most need- need
BAND SCORE: 2/3 Keep Writing!
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