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Some scholars of our society believe that paper based news and magazines will be extinct over the period of time. Partially, I am also agreeing( I also agree) on this thought because still certain part of our society is solely rely(relies) on traditional newspaper and magazines as a source of information.
The advent of modern technology & E-books has ( has had a)profound impact on our daily lives. We can access news across the globe on our fingertips at any time as per our convenience. Nowadays, we receives (receive)breaking news, current affairs or page 3 updates on various social platforms within fraction of seconds. Another vital aspect of using E-based source of information is to avoid devastation of forest & tons of wastage of water required for paper industries. Normally, 1 ton of wood & 20000 liters of water is needed to produce 100, A4 papers which is simply not justifiable being (as the)entire world is making efforts to sustain these limited natural resources.
On (the) other hand, paper based newspaper and Magazines are inseparable part of certain members of our society specifically those who are not well adept with technology. Mostly retired and elderly loves ( love) to read newspaper, particularly articles & sports section. This reading tradition has been following over the years in my house as well where my father likes to read newspaper and my mother is fond of old magazines such as “Gruhshobhika”. Certainly, it is not possible to change such as (such)orthodox reading habits of the personnel (people) easily.
To summarize this discussion, one day e-books and newspaper will completely replace the paper based information media but it will take his (its)own sweet time as people still has (have) faith in it.
Instructions & Observations
1. Pls find the corrections in bold in the above essay. Unnecessary words have been struck off.
2. Work on sentence framing ….. I am agreeing … should be ( I agree)
3. Subject verb agreement ( society solely rely)… should be ( society solely relies, retired & elderly love ….. not loves
4. Incorrect use of vocabulary – Personnel …… wrong use
5. Wrong use of collocation ( will take his own sweet time)……… will take its own sweet time.
6. For Agree/ Disagree essay its always better to either agree or disagree . This makes the direction of the essay clearer. Partial approach does not generally fetch good scores.
Feedback:
Task response is satisfactory. The essay is well structured with proper paragraphing and sufficient lexical resources though a few vocabulary words have been used incorrectly. Errors in subject verb agreement, collocation and sentence formation can be seen in the essay. Approach to the essay could have been improved.
Band Score : 4/6
