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Unknown Member
Deleted UserAugust 27, 2021 at 8:37 AMINTRODUCTION: write main points in your thesis statement
BP 1:
tourist- tourists
Furthermore- Moreover
people- redundantly used
BP 2:
shows people’s identities we are- jumped to the second sentence without concluding the previous sentence
Conclusion: well written
BAND SCORE: 3.5/6 Keep Writing!