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  • Anureet

    Member
    August 27, 2021 at 8:37 AM

    INTRODUCTION: write main points in your thesis statement

    BP 1:

    tourist- tourists

    Furthermore- Moreover

    people- redundantly used

    BP 2:

    shows people’s identities we are- jumped to the second sentence without concluding the previous sentence

    Conclusion: well written

    BAND SCORE: 3.5/6 Keep Writing!

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