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In modern days, it is said that people are more focused on national news while others believe that international news is also noteworthy. This essay will consider both points and then present an opinion.
To start with, reading news about their country would help citizens to be aware of daily situations, especially about crime. Accordingly, these people would be more likely to take precautions measure (precautionary/precautional measures). Obviously, the crime rate is increasing day by day, so that people should find information to prevent negative things. For instance, the 26/11 attack in Mumbai, national news helps the citizens of Mumbai (to know) what is happening around them.
On the other hand, international news might be beneficial in people’s planning, particularly when going to another country or investing in another country’s market. Firstly, having known about such information in a foreign country via news, people would beware of war or weather conditions. For example, a few months bach( back) when India was at war with China, many businessmen from India do (did)not qualify to travel to China. Secondly, before investing in another country’s market, a company especially an international (especially an international company) one should know about that country’s economy. For instance, after the Afghanistan crisis, international companies of other countries have stopped investing in Afghanistan.
In conclusion, while national news would help citizens (become) aware of daily situations like crime, international news benefits them in planning, especially investing in another country’s market. Therefore, I firmly believe that people should be aware of both types of news, thereby keeping track of such important knowledge.
Observation:
Please see the corrections above in bold.
1. Correct use – precautionary/ precautional measures
2. Improvement in sentence formation required. At many places the sentences are incomplete . ( See above)
3. Minor errors in Grammar
Feedback:
A very good attempt has been made at addressing the task and all the tasks have been sufficiently addressed. Other key features are highlighted and well covered. The response has quite a natural, clear progression. There is a good range of cohesive devices but some have been used inappropriately though there are some good examples of referencing. Despite the range and effective use of lexis, some words have been used incorrectly. Sentence types are mixed and there are many attempts at subordination, but control is uneven and there are Grammar errors . Sentence formation is faulty at some places and needs improvement.
Band Score : 4/6
