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People usually believe that news is important in our day to day life but some people are more focus (focussed) towards local news while others believe in global news. This essay will examine both the views on local and global news and provide a logical conclusion.
To begin with, Reading ( reading)local news is important to be fully aware of the daily situation in our country especially in the health sector. People will be more aware of the precaution they should take to stay away from the diseases. For example, at the time of covid-19 many people were greatly getting benefited from the local news by knowing about the covid ( Covid) cases and vaccine status . That’s why it is important to read or watch local news and to be fully aware about the country we are living in.
On the other hand global news is important to know about our relative (relatives ) and loved one ( ones) that (who)are settled in other country (countries). By knowing about other country’s situation we will be fully aware about the situation of our relatives. For example, Nowdays in Afghanistan there is a situation of war and lot of Indians are trapped in Afghanistan. People in India are really worried about there ( their) loved ones that (who) are trapped in Afghanistan so here global news is playing a really important role for getting the information of Afghanistan. Thus knowing global news make ( makes) us fully aware about the condition of people that ( whom) we know in other country’s ( countries).
In conclusion, While ( while) the local news will help people to be fully aware about there country’s situation like health sector, Global news will help people to know about the people they knowing (know) in other country’s ( countries). Therefore, I strongly believe that people should be aware of both types of news. Thus it is clearly impossible to state one type of news is better than ( the) other.
Observations :
Please find corrections above in bold.
1. More focus – more focussed
2. Started words with capital letters in the middle of the sentence (Reading)
3. Singular / Plural errors – relatives and loved ones, country’s in place of countries
4. Pronouns – ‘there’ in place of ‘their’/’ that’ in place of ‘who’ & ‘whom’
Feedback:
The writing is easy to follow as it is well organized though the essay exceeds the word limit. Each paragraph has a clear purpose. This essay addresses all parts of this task. The opinion is included in the conclusion to make the writer’s position clear, and the paragraphs support the writer’s position with examples and justifications. Essay flows logically but use of linking words is very limited. Use of vocabulary is also limited and can be further improved. Grammar errors are evident in the entire essay which includes verb/ pronoun/noun/article errors which limits the score of the essay.
Band Score : 3.5/6
