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The media world has become increasingly important in the 21st Century since the advent of the internet. Basic understanding of events at both a national and international level is important. Whether one is more important than the other is difficult to say. Both opinions will be analysed in this essay before a conclusion is drawn.
On one hand, local news is the news (that) helps you know more about your home town. Knowing what occurs are happening at people local effect directly to their lives. Many aspects such as education, health care, finance and new regulations are the topics people really care about. For example, in Covid-19 pandemic, local news helps the citizens updating new cases in their area in order to have some crucial solution to avoid social infection.
On the other hand, it is undeniable that being aware of international news has certain benefits. Some people think it is crucial to be aware of international news due to the competitiveness of this globalized world. For example, China has emerged as the fastest growing nation in term (terms) of economy.
In my opinion, though international news is important, local news cannot be ignored as it contains greater relevance and are (is) therefore more important. Local news focuses on domestic news which helps people to be more aware of events relating to national politics, and day to day events that may have a direct impact on their lives. Additionally, domestic news brings more useful news to people due to the specific area it covers.
In conclusion, keeping up with the international news is important. However, national news should be given more importance over international news as it may relate to our daily lives.
Observations :
Please see the correction and mistakes above in bold.
1. Skipping pronouns where needed …. That helps you know (see above)
2. Knowing what occurs are happening at people local effect directly to their lives. – Unclear sentences with no meaning
3. Term/terms – incorrect use of the word
4. Are/is- incorrect usage of verbs ( see above)
Feedback :
All parts of the topic are responded to well. Ideas are connected to topic, but could be better supported with more details. Main ideas are clear though explanation/examples of main ideas are not that clear. Examples could have been more relevant and stronger. The opinion is clear. Structure and organization is satisfactory. More advanced vocabulary needs to be used. Some sentences are ill formed with no meaning. Few grammar errors like pronoun errors and verb errors are seen but it does not impede the flow of the essay.
Band Score : 4/6
