-
In this modern era, it is said that some people focus on the national news, whereas others suggest that knowledge of international news is also important. This essay will discuss both sides and present an opinion.
People often read the national news as they give (it gives) information about what is going on in their respective countries. National news gives information about the daily activities happening in the nation like the crimes committed and what precautionary measures one should take to prevent the same happening to them, debates on political agendas help people to understand what politicians are doing to develop their areas and eventually helps them to form an opinion on whom to elect, entertainment sector provides news about various actors, movies as well as the television sectors which are often viewed by female viewers.
On the other hand, International news might be beneficial for people who are planning to move abroad or have their loved ones settled in foreign countries. Having this type of knowledge such as the country’s crises, cultural diversity, etc (etc.) would help people to make better decisions about shifting if they are planning to settle or inform their relatives about recent developments like . for (For)example recently Taliban retook (took over) Afghanistan so if we had a relative there and we were not aware of what’s going on in the world we cannot (could not have offered )offer them help or refugee (refuge)and thus having knowledge about what is happening globally is important.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that people should be aware of both national and international news, thus keeping track of what’s going on nationally and globally.
Observations :
Please see the correction and mistakes above in bold.
1. News is singular – they give /it gives
2. Etc – etc.
3. Refugee is a person who takes refuge ( see above)
4. Incorrect use of tense – cannot offer/ could not have offered
Feedback :
An appropriate essay format is used and the response is well written. The position is clearly presented in the final paragraph. The writing is easy to follow as it is well organised. Range of vocabulary is good and ideas are expressed clearly though some words have been inappropriately used. Attempted to use a variety of complex sentences but in some places the sentence has become too long and has gone grammatically incorrect leading to incorrect use of tenses.
Band Score : 4/6
