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I saw my hair turn (turned) red
I don’t (didn’t) even know when I fall (fell) asleep.
I was dejected, and don’t (didn’t/ was clueless ) know what to do
I saw everybody was having red hair,(in/ some connection is required here) park near to my house.
then I turn (turned) my head,
even all buildings are (were) in red colour.
the whole city turns (turned) red
Feedback : make accurate use of tenses.
Keep writing!
