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The pie charts illustrate the primary reasons that ( for which) people use cycle and car to reach their workplace. Comfort and health and fitness are the major individual reasons for using car and cycle respectively.
Workers highly prefer car due to the comfort it provides and this reason stands with (at) 40%, while the major factors that causes people to use cycle is health and fitness and less pollution, 30% each. Another major factor influencing the dependency on car is distance to work which is slightly higher than a fifth.
Other elements, that is faster than cycling, need to carry things to work and safer than cycling tends (tend) the workers to drive to work and these are at 14% for the first two factors and 11% for the other one. Similarly, remaining factors resulting to cycle are no parking issues, zero cost and faster when compared to that of driving, these are at 15%, 13% and 12% respectively.
Feedback :
The response achieves the task because the data from the pie chart is selected and summarized appropriately. Also, it can be seen that comparisons are made, which you are told to do in the rubric. The comparisons are clear from the language of comparison and contrast.
The summary is also well-organized. The writer decides first to compare the two largest items in each pie chart in the first paragraph, then go on to summarize the smaller items each in a separate paragraph. It is therefore easy to follow the description. Grammatical range is satisfactory barring a few grammar inaccuracies with conjunctions.
Band Score : 2.5/3
