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Certain section of people believes..
An better idea?? A better idea
Why there is a question mark in the first sentence of the body paragraph 1?
Each and every individuals= individual
There is no proper example in your first one paragraph everything that you have written is just point of you and concepts. You need to give some example which looks like a real event that happened which proves your mentioned points.
Again in the second body paragraph there is no proper example.
Grammatical accuracy needs work as there are so many grammatical errors. Also the structure needs to be improved.
Band score weightage: 2.5/6.0
