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  • Unknown Member

    Member
    September 18, 2021 at 11:08 PM

    Undoubtedly, the ( not required) news is (a) part and parcel of everyone’s life as it helps in being informative of things happening around us whether locally or globally. Based on the preference, some people tend to give more weightage to the worldwide news over the nation-wide news whilst others believe domestic news is crucial to be up-to-date with one’s surroundings. In this essay, I will discuss both aspects and would argue that inclining more towards abroad news has more benefits when compared to local news.

    On the one hand, nation (national) news provides knowledge of the country’s day-to-day activities like the government’s new policies, political changes, weather changes, sports bulletin, etc. Thus, individuals are getting all the required information to be aware of things happening around them. For example, one can avoid going out of their home after listening to a bad weather report on local news. Therefore, it would help them to avoid unwanted troubles.

    On the other hand, other nation(s’) news helps in understanding activities happening across the globe. With the increase of globalization and tourism, it is becoming necessary to be well-known of other countries’ news as it helps in preparing, planning, and take (taking)necessary actions if required. For instance, if someone is planning to travel to London for vacation, they would have to cancel or postpone their travel dates by seeing the weather report of snow-storm. What’s more, it will not only help in saving their huge expenses but planning things in a better way.

    To conclude, the news is important as it enlightens us about our nearby environment and focuses on being up-to-date. I support the view that foreign news is more important than motherland news as it guides in preparing, planning, and saving money.

    Observations:

    Please see the corrections in bold above.

    Feedback:

    Very well attempted . The essay is well structured and fully addresses all parts of the task. The paragraphs all have topic sentences, which are then supported by examples, and are easy to follow. The main body and conclusion relate back to the thesis in the introduction. Presents a fully developed position in answer to the question with relevant, fully extended and well supported ideas . All the paragraphs logically follow the prior one and use of cohesive devices can be seen throughout. Essay has a satisfactory vocabulary range though use of uncommon vocabulary words is missing. Grammar inaccuracy is seen in use of articles, adjectives and gerunds though it is minor.

    Band Score: 4.5/6

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