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Some opine that men are gifted and superior to women. This essay will argue how and why men seem to have an edge over women but on the other hand, it will showcase that this is an ancient thought process.
On side of the story( On one side of the story), Men are physically and mentally robust enough which makes them more competent. As a result, they are more agile and can handle stress. Furthermore, these attributes endow them with an advantage over women in attaining the set goals. For example, Historically(historically), if we delve into the data of quantum of successful people from various domains such as sports, science, art, business, etc,(etc.,) men always outweigh women. On the surface, it seems that the inherent qualities of men are certainly empowering them to be more successful.
On the other side of the story, mens’ (men’s)success story over the decades undoubtedly, has been due to the fact that women have not been allowed to explore various realms due to old-fashioned customs, especially in developing countries. In the past, women were neither blessed with deserved education nor were allowed to participate in extra-curricular activities. Consequently, they couldn’t fare well in the various fields. Had women been given adequate opportunities, they would have been equally qualified to men. For instance, Nowadays (nowadays), A(a)ccording to Forbes magazine, we see that women are equally capable to men. Hence, mens’ ( men’s) inherent qualities have less to do with their competency.
To summarise, this essay argued that people who think that women are inferior to men is only a wrong notion. In my viewpoint, women couldn’t compete with men in the past due to deprived opportunities rather than the inherent qualities of men. If we were to provide enough opportunities to women on par with men, they too would do wonders!
Feedback:
Thesis statement should preferably be in the introduction which is missing . On the whole the essay is well organized and structured but both views need not have been discussed as it is an agree/disagree essay and not a discussion type. The supporting reasons could have been discussed for your opinion in both the paragraphs followed by conclusion. Vocabulary is satisfactory but a few Grammar errors in apostrophe and punctuations are seen.
Band Score : 3.5/6
