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* In this context, “finishing school’ is the correct expression, not ‘finishing their schools’.
* “Every situation has a set of benefits and drawbacks” – I believe that a generalization like this one is not very useful in a thesis outline. Please check out the thesis outlines in the sample essays.
* Even though the expression ‘upcoming future’ is very common in Indian English, it is most likely non-standard.
* “an year” is wrong. It is ‘a year’. The ‘y’ in the word is pronounced. Please confirm this for yourself.
* It looks like the ‘Nonetheless’ in the second paragraph was used incorrectly. Usually ‘nonetheless’ is followed by something that would be surprising in light of what was said before it. Here, it doesn’t seem to be the case.
5/6
