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The bar charts illustrates ( illustrate) the causes of people’s mode of travel to work either by riding a bicycle or a car in percentage.
Overall, both enviornmental factors as well as health and fitness equally influenced ( a major proportion of the )bicycle riders to a major proportion( not required) whereas comfort was the prime reason for others to prefer driving a car over a bicycle.Health and fitness and less pollution are the underline factors for 30% of people who select cycling in an equal proportion. Meanwhile ,half of that (them) only given(give) importance to no parking problems. Following that only 15%of people states (state) bicycling as the cheapest way of transport to office.
On the other hand, driving a car gives comfort to 40 % of people ,while over a fifth of people choose driving because it reduces the distance to work. (In addition) when less than a fifth decided ( decide) to drive a car for being faster and comfortable to carry things to work, more than one in ten chooses (choose) cycling for being more faster(faster) than a car.
Feedback:
A good try. Try to write the response in the same tense if the time is not given. Sentence formation and Grammar errors are seen through out . All the errors are emboldened above, Apart from this the progression of the response is satisfactory with good use of language of comparision and contrast. Paragraphing is done properly with satisfactory use of cohesive devices.
Band Score :1.5/3
