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  • Shahbaz

    Administrator
    October 25, 2021 at 12:49 PM
    50 Network Points
    Activity Points 7670

    * ‘famous’ is not a suitable word choice here.
    * Please review the use of the past tense in the first sentence of the first body paragraph. Since it’s a general trend and not something that happened only in the past , I would use ‘opt’ rather than ‘opted’.

    * ‘it will lead to change their thoughts’ (lead to a change…)

    * The sentence that starts with ‘These kinds of benefits to turning away from tertiary education’ is a bit confusing.

    4.5/6

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