AdministratorOctober 26, 2021 at 10:37 AM50 Network PointsActivity Points 7670
* ‘not spend huge amounts of money’
* You don’t have to preface an argument in the body paragraph with ‘I think…’
“I think developed nations use funds collected from the citizens of that
nation and use that money for space exploration, Although it can be put
to better use. “
You could have written:
“The funds that developed nations collect from their citizens and use for space exploration can be be put to better use”
* “from the past few
decades” (for the past few decades)
at the facts make me change” (looking
at the facts makes me change) [This is called ‘the error of proximity’. Even though ‘facts’ comes right before the verb ‘make’, its subject is actually ‘looking at facts’ and that is grammatically singular and would take the -s form of the verb]
* “According to me, Developed nations” (The capital D makes no sense here. You capitalize letters at the beginning of sentences. The first letter after an introductory phrase is not capitalized)
* ” because developing nations have less vaccines, achieving
that is a hard task” (added a comma after ‘vaccines’)
* “only chance of success at this is when
developed nations will come forward and help these nations.”
– This could have been a separate sentence
– ‘when developed nations come forward’ – ‘will’ is not used with clauses starting with ‘after’ , ‘when’ ‘if’ etc.
” I will give him the product when he gives me the money” (not ‘when he will give)
Score : 4 or 4.5/6.
Some of the mistakes like unnecessary capital letters can be fixed quite easily. There is a lot of room for improvement.