AdministratorOctober 27, 2021 at 12:33 PM50 Network PointsActivity Points 7690
* ‘less safe than before’ cannot be paraphrased as ‘unsafe than before’ (unsafe compared to before)
* Please check out the sample essays that were shared. The ideas are sometimes too crowded in your sentences are not arranged in an organized manner. Several commas are missing. e.g. “In my opinion, if we improve their quality of life” As I have said before, long sentences are necessary, but they should be well-organized and readable.
* Where you transitioned with ‘coming to my next point’ is where it would have been better to start a new sentence.
* ‘day today’ (day-to-day)
Read one of the sample essays closely, paying special attention to how the ideas are arranged and how they are sequenced in the sentences. Make sure that you proof-read your essays well.