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* ‘Schools have abundance of children’ ( Usually, we say ‘an abundance of something’ . I haven’t seen it used that much while talking about people)
* ‘Due to this, many children perform’ (Due to this, many children perform)
* ‘ Not only did they pass but performed well in their examinations.’
I believe it should be ‘but they performed…’ because the verbs in both clauses are different [pass, perform]. ‘They not only passed but also performed well’ is probably correct.
* ‘The World is vast’ (I’m not sure why ‘World’ had to be capitalized here)
* ‘ Without their help the child’s talent would have’ ( Without their help, the child’s…)
* Please look up ‘for an instance’ vs ‘for instance’
* ‘he became one of the great sporting icon’ (‘one of the’ and ‘one of my’ are always followed by plural nouns. Here , it should be ‘icons’)
* ‘Tutor helped in rectifying Jurgens’ mistakes’ (The Tutor helped in rectifying Jurgens’ mistakes)
* ‘The child gets much deeper understanding of the field’ [I believe it should be (The child gets a much deeper understanding of the field)]
Score : 4.5/6