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Feedback :
Write essay as per the structure recommended for IELTS (as discussed in class).
Introduction should have paraphrasing sentence and outlining statement .
Try to avoid the use of pronouns like (I, you, we , your, our) until your opinion has been asked. Keep it general and formal style of writing .
advantages and disadvantages should be presented in distinct paragraphs , avoid overlapping of ideas.
I would advise to reattempt the essay .
