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danger (Danger) bells
Due to this there is a (are) lots of burden on shoulders of government
As par (per) senior citizens are concern . (,) Government has to review
Growing population of veterans effects (affects) the gross domestic product –
instead of using “oldster” repeatedly “elderly” can be used.
Coherence and cohesion has been clearly observed.
No example found and more importantly, conclusion is missing in the essay.
Band: 3/6
