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  • Falak

    February 11, 2022 at 9:39 AM

    In today’s era, the expected life of an individual is globally increased. Due to Global movement in all the sectors like health, social, economic and education the old, aged people population is increasing. There are a few factors we need to take care of so that we can manage our old-age people population. (Introduction is mentioning the reasons , I would advise to mention the problems and respective solution in outline and thesis statement)

    I would suggest to write problems and solutions distinctively in B.P 1 and B.P 2 respectively.

    As old people cannot take care of themself, (themselves)

    B.P 3, on robots seems way too elaborated , main points could be covered in B.P 2.

    Follow the essay structure as discussed in the class.

    At times, certain sentences found to have lack of cohesion and tend to generalize the things

    Keep writing!!

    Band: 2.5/6

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