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n the growing years of person’s life when he/she is facing life’s challenges to keep up in the society. (full stop has been used inappropriately, a comma will do the continuation of sentence) There are lot of schools, coming up with idea.
Although, (Moreover,) overall personality development and optimistic (optimism) are the most prominent reasons
Admittedly, being awarded will stimulate their confidence and help them to (advocate their ideas among others ) become optimistic in life,– optimism has already been discussed in above paragraph
Thus (Whereas), punishment doesn’t seems to be a solution for a students, in fact it will impact them in a traumatised way
Be cautious while choosing the cohesive device and punctuation.
band: 3.5/6
