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Traffic congestions (congestion)
government needs to improve (in that – not required) by finding
The foremost problem (of traffic jams) faced by (people) commuting in cities caused by parking issues (, There) are people who park on wrong sides of the road
As vehicles started to park on roads, this leads (lead) to the rise in traffic congestions.- past indefinite tense
which is (are) closer to these markets
that parking on roadside be free movement for traffic. ((so that parking should not obstruct the free movement of vehicles on road)
had (it has ) become very easier for people to utilise these facilities.
To conclude(,) there are still facts
If the government and the people follow these observations on day to day basis, that (will help) helps further to get succeed. – first conditional sentence.
Feedback : I would advise to go through all the tenses and usages as confusion in past indefinite, perfect tenses is there. At few places, in order to write complex structures the basic essence of sentence is missing. Accuracy should not be compromised.
Keep writing!!
Band: 3/6
