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  • Falak

    September 2, 2022 at 12:02 AM

    developed nation(s) rather then (than) their own developing

    evolved. (Period is not required as the sentence is in continuation and connected by which)Which ultimately hurt the growth

    nations to loss (lose)

    software developer(s)

    to coup up with (to cope with)

    then government start (started) a national reward


    All in all, (To conclude,)

    developed nation is a (“a) is redundant here) bit tricky,

    professional moved (move/moving) to those countries

    Feedback: Certainly, there is an effort to make complex sentences, but I would like to see more variety of subordinating conjunction , not just “which” . Great range of Cohesive devices are there like In addition to, furthermore, adding to this … need not to be “moreover” all the time.

    Keep writing!!!

    Band: 4/6

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