[JUBY]

Overall it’s a good attempt except for certain grammatical errors.

Appreciate the usage of cohesive words like “on the one hand”, “to begin with” etc.

Be careful of the article usage. For example: add ‘the’ before population, add ‘the’ before local community

Found some incorrect usage of prepositions.

Reduce the use of repetitive words.

Band score 3/6.

Best wishes