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Task2 : Blood sports
Blood sports have become a hot topic for debate in recent years. As society develops it is increasingly seen as an uncivilized activity and cruel to the helpless animals that are killed. All blood sports should be banned.
Discuss the main arguments for this statement and give your own opinion
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19 Replies
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@falak Here is my Writing Task 2
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people raise objections about banning about the blood sports as it is a brutal game ( people agree to the idea of prohibiting such brutal activities)
an inappropriate way of earning ( attaining) the entertainment
This means ( to elaborate)
the engagement of (animals in ) such sports is somehow( clearly projects inhumanity prevailing in the society) level of inhumanity
someone(‘s) entertainment
Feedback : work on handwriting , some words are not even legible, stick to formal words. Proof read is must to avoid silly mistakes. Keep writing!
Band : 3.5/6
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Hello @falak Ma’am.
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Feedback : This (these) are the few reasons
Capital letters should only be used for the first word at the beginning of the sentence or if word is a proper noun.
Punctuation marks should be used carefully especially use of comma after connectors.
Subject – Verb agreement is also a concern
Lexical resources need to be improved.
Band : 2.5/6
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Bloodsports have been a huge point of debate and are subject to a lot of criticism ,especially from wildlife enthusiasts.These activities are immensely cruel and have been a major cause of animal atrocity in the modern world. I am a huge proponent of banning bloodsports and would be highlighting some of the reasons to supplement this case.
Bloodsports involve activities such as hunting, fishing, and dogfighting. Historically, these originated during the medieval times when traditional sports were not popular amongst the masses.
In today’s world ,these sports have been known to kill more than 1 million animals per year. Since these involve training animals rigorously, it is a necessity for them to be put under medications, to enhance performance during competitions. Moreover, most of these sports do not come under any regulation from any authority, causing widespread exploitation of animals. Wildlife conservationists believe that this has been a major cause of animal trafficking. In a report published by PETA, it was found that the world has lost about 40% of animal species ,that existed in the 20th century, with about 15% being birds, fishes, and dogs. Thus, it is pivotal that these sports are banned from modern society.To conclude, It is clear that while these sports are a mere form of entertainment for some, it has been an unpunished crime that has been continuing for decades. Governments across the world should work , along with wildlife experts to ensure that these sports are abolished and animal lives are given equal emphasis as humans.
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Feedback : Paragraphing is important , at least two body paragraphs should be there with explanation along with development of argument. In such case, cohesion and coherence won’t get more than 4 bands
Examples should be more in form of your personal experience rather than using some learned language.
Band: 3/6
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Blood sports as the name suggests involves blood, exhibits the inhuman nature. These kind of sports should be banned with immediate effect , These acts are immensely cruel and may lead to severe natural issues. So taking this into consideration I suggest these blood sports should be banned.
Like humans animals also have feeling they also feel the pain when being hurt , they also have the right to live a happy life. Blood sports were considered to be one of the entertainment activities in the past because it had a huge amount of earning prospect and we humans can do anything to earn money if it involves huge amount , Killing an innocent who cannot speak or display its feeling is it a humanly act?? No I don’t think so. Many countries like spain and mexico they have made bulls running or killing legal and hunting them in front of children and family which will affect the mental ability of children. As children learns from what they see and at that very young age we are teaching them to kill is it right thing for children?
We need to stop this cruelty as this may cause natural environment disbalance. There are many things which we can do to stop these things like government can make a law related to this or we can make some ads to inculcate the idea to stop these kind of things. Now a days many activist have come forward to help these animals making there lives a bit easier to live.
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Paraphrasing in introduction, should reflect all the components mentioned in question ( animals)
Like humans (,) animals also have feeling – punctuation is important
it had a huge amount of earning prospect and we humans can do anything to earn money if it involves huge amount , (Sentence structure could be improved to avoid excessive use of same phrases and words)
spain and mexico (Spain and Mexico) – proper nouns
As children learns (learn) – subject- verb agreement
It is important to use cohesive devices like “In conclusion,” while writing conclusion to increase readability , and conclusion should not talk about any new aspect (e.g : environmental imbalance)
Follow the IELTS essay writing pattern where two body paragraphs are must to develop the required word limit.
Keep writing!!
Band: 2.5/6
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It is barbaric that the human kind are exploiting creatures for their pleasure and earning money through blood sports, which causes pain and death to animals. It should be forbidden, by taking steps by the government and public at the earliest.
Since ages, in many cultures humans are harming animals for pleasure, like example Spain, Portugal are known for bull fighting in their cultures, In Latin America also dog fights are quite common. People are betting on these animals’s life which is brutal to animals taking their life.
Some people are doing business by blood sport, they telecast through websites on internet, and earning profit through it.
Blood sport cruelty should be forbidden by the government by making laws and punishing people who are earning and using animals for entertainment purposes. Any kind of activity apart from blood sport which is harming animals in any way should be banned. For example, in Spain many amendments were passed in country during 2011 to stop bull fighting blood sport culture.
To summarise, I would say that doing violence with animals does not make us human, and it is inhumane of us to treat animals with cruelty for pleasure purposes.
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Any kind of activity apart from (like) blood sport which is harming animals in any way should be banned.
Introduction and conclusion has been framed nicely.
Body paragraphs needs to be elaborated with explanation and supporting details.
Word limit should be minimum 250 words. This essay is under length and response is limited.
Band: 2/6
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Blood sports is part of different cultures across the globe, but it always showcases sports in a negative light. Such sports are often criticized and are under controversies due to the very nature of these being brutal for animals. I strongly believe that such sports should be banned and this essay will highlight the points to justify my viewpoint.
First and foremost, blood of animals is spilled in such sports for entertainment which is not justifiable at all. Animals in such sports are kept in cramped cages and often face ruthless treatment by their handlers, which traumatizes them mentally and physically. Furthermore, animals that are found to be unfit for the sport are often killed. No one has the right to torture or kill such beautiful creatures, but greed and entertainment drives people insane and this insanity creates havoc for animals and the society.
Secondly, blood sports are not only dangerous for animals but for people involved in it too. For instance, bull riding is one such sport in which bulls are tortured repeatedly to make them aggressive, and sometimes the riders have to face the wrath of these furious bulls . Public wants to see how riders control these furious bulls, but, more often than not, the riders also get injured in the act. Sometimes, the injuries sustained by these riders are so gruesome that they either eventually die or are handicapped for the rest of their lives.
Thirdly, a lot of people bet and gamble on these sports which is both unethical and illegal. For instance, in bull fighting people often gamble on the bull that they think would win and they either loose or win but ultimately it is the losing bull that pays the price with its life.
To conclude, even though blood sports is a part of various cultures, and a lot of people make money through these sports, it is inhumane and vicious for animals. These activities should be condemned, and legal proceeding should be carried out against people playing these sports.
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Body paragraph 2 and 3 should be put together as paragraphing needs to be maintained , putting them together will avoid the negative feature of underdeveloped paragraphs.
Essay is well- written with logical sequence and usage of lexical resources seem to be effortless.
Keep writing!!
Band: 4.5/6
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Hi Ma’am,
Please review my essay below :
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animal’s (animals) are being hurt
there are a number of reasons (there are number of reasons)
campaigns to spread awareness. Therefore, (as/because) blood sports are inhumane
Example in B.P 1 , seems to be just paraphrasing of explanation of main reason . I suggest to make it bit more specific.
Band : 4/6
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Hello @fal ma’am please review.
Blood sports are an inhumane activity under which people harms helpless animals for the sake of their entertainment, traditional rituals, and other reasons. With the passage of time, people have become more and more aware about the rights of animals and because of that the demand to ban these blood sports activities also increases.
Primarily, the reason behind this activities is the traditional culture of some areas. For instance, bull racing was quite famous in some areas of Spain but after the intervention of PETA(the body which fights for the animals rights), the Spain authorities banned this sport. Similarly, In South India Bullfighting is a very famous activity in which thousands of bulls performed and a lot of them die or face critical injuries because of this bloodshed activity. Recently Supreme Court of India took suo moto notice in this and put a ban on bullfighting for an indefinite period.
Another reason behind these activities is the illegal trading of animals. Generally, people sold animals in black market through these bloodsport activities. Because of the illegal trading of animals, many habitat animals reach to the stage of extinction. In addition to that, this activity also leads to the infusion of black money in the economy.
Animals are an important part of our ecosystem and food cycle. By harming animals, people are creating problems for the entire environment.
In the end, I want to conclude that these activities which are immensely cruel for animals should be completely banned. The Governments and the respective authorities should generate more awareness among people about this by using various methods. Also, the respective authorities should take strict action against those who are involved in these activities.
260words
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people harms (harm) helpless animals
, the reason behind this (these) activities is the traditional culture
which thousands of bulls performed (perform)
Generally, people sold (sell) animals
many habitat animals (vulnerable species) reach to the stage of extinction.
In the end, I want to conclude that (In conclusion)
Be careful with grammatical errors, maintain the tense in a sentence.
Band: 3.5/6
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Over the period of times, it can be observed that blood sports are always criticized due to inhuman, mistreatment and cruelty shown on animals. I undoubtedly believe that these kind of sports should be treated as illegal and should educate the people more about it therefore we can prevent these kind of activities happening in future.
To begin with, from the past generation some communities are following blood sport as a symbol of tradition and as a pride. As a illustration in the Southern part of India people are following a festival called Jallikattu were they allow bulls to run in open yard and people try to catch them. As a result many bulls suffer unimaginable pain and people also get hurt by participating in such sport.
In addition, gambling always been a part of human kind from ages. In the globe there are several places were hunting, bird fight and dog fights are held and by gamblers bidding it encourages the people to continue the sports. For instance in some part of Africa hunting is treated as a interest and people carry weapons to the forest to hunt them by these kind of human act, we are witnessing in decline in the number of animals therefore it’s necessary to the Authorities to take certain action to prevent the animals.
To conclude, blood sports will be always considered as a inhuman activity and encouraging these kind of sports makes human race uncivilized. These type of sports should be banned and legal action should be taken on those people who influence, participate and conduct these sports.
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blood sports are always criticized due to inhuman (behavior)
I undoubtedly believe that these kind of sports should be treated as illegal and should (there is need to) educate the people more about it therefore (to prevent) we can prevent these kind of activities happening in future.
As a illustration (,) in the Southern part of India
festival called Jallikattu were (where) they
it encourages the people to continue the (these) sports.
For instance(,) in some part of Africa
it’s necessary to (for) the Authorities to take certain action to prevent (safeguard) the animals.(from such brutal activities)
Make sure to use punctuation wherever required.
Band: 3.5/6
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Blood sports have become a part of different cultures but these are showcased in an uncivilised way.People do this for their greed and entertainment purposes. To satisfy themselves, they harm animals during the sports. I strongly believe that these activities should be banned completely. This essay will highlight the points to justify my viewpoint.
Firstly, from the past generations, blood sports have become a symbol of their traditions. For instance, in the southern part of India, Jallikattu, a traditional bull fighting sport, occurs during Pongal celebration. During this sport, bulls are seriously injured and even people who are involved, they also get injured. Secondly, for these taming activities, animals are put in captivity in barren conditions. These cages harm animals physically as well as mentally. As during Jallikattu, bulls are caged one week before the celebration happens. Bulls get mentally harmed in the cages.
In the modern world, these traditional blood sports are becoming a mode of profit earning. For example, people fix matches and earn a lot of money from these activities. During the cock fighting in Telangana and Andhra Pradesh, people fix the game in advance and after the completion of game, the winner earn more money. People have seen these games as a symbol of pride and to prove their satisfaction, they injure animals and even killed the unfit animals.
To conclude, these so called traditional sports should be banned because they are not only harm animals but also put our society in the clutches of moneymakers. Government should take serious steps to protect the animals. For instance, government has banned the cockfighting in southern part of India but still common in rural areas. For this government should make people aware about the importance of animals and to take steps to stop these underground activities.
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