[Unknown Member]

Dear Sir,

It is a great pleasure for me to write this letter to your company regarding the helping hand that you have proposed for the poor children in my locality.

First I would like to highlight the benefits of sponsoring the local children’s sports team for a significant period probably two years. As we know that Sports is a culture in our society and it needs a regulated infrastructure with adequate training to support. So the children who are unable to afford, can certainly get the maximum benefit out of it. I have sincerely noticed that children in my society have the caliber to reach greater height specially in the field of Cricket and hence they can do wonders provided they get plenty of resources.

Meanwhile I also observed that there is a set of children who are very much fond of music. They are full of enthusiasm when it comes to singing, playing some variety of music instruments or participate in some open-air concerts. They follow the people from the music industry and watch their concerts on Television. This bold initiative to sponsor them will help them into nourishing their skills which are natural and God-gifted to them. I certainly feel that they have the ability to perform on a bigger stage after a period of time.

To initiate these charitable works, I would suggest that kindly form a group of people who can visit my locality and meet with these children. They would be delighted to have you here and would share their thoughts with the group. Thereafter you can get a fair idea on how ambitious these kids are and they simply needs a helping hand to give heights to there wings. I myself along with my co-workers are representing their team and we can meet each other to discuss the strategies and the plans to start this great initiative.

I hope to hear you soon on this kind initiative.

Yours Sincerely,

Abhineet Saxena

[Unknown Member]

BP 1: Sports: sports

sincerely noticed- noticed

reach greater height- reach great heights

BP 2: very much- very

some- a

participate- participation

into- in

I hope to hear you soon- I hope to hear from you soon

BAND SCORE: 2/3 Keep Writing!

[Unknown Member]

Dear Sir

I am writting to express my appreciation on your company’s initiative of sponsoring either our community’s sports team for children or arranging open air concerts for local people.

Undoubtedly, your support for the sports team would help them get better training, therefore, there are more chances of victory in the upcoming leagues. This would not only bring fame to our area and your company but also attract more sponsors in the future.

On the other hand, your company’s idea of organising open-air concerts would certainly entertain people of all age groups. Besides, it gives an opportunity for the local bands to show case their talent. Thus, many young people could get inspired and motivated to develop interest in such cultural activities.

However, I personally feel that spending on promoting children’s sports would be a better option. Because, financially backward students, who cannot afford to take special trainings can participate under your sponsorship.

I look forward to receive a positive reply from your end.

Yours faithfully,

Madhumitha Murali

[Unknown Member]

appreciation- this letter is not about appreciation

BP1: there are- there will be

BP 2: it gives- it can give

opportunity for- opportunity to

BP 3: under- with the help of your

Please check the word count if its under word count

BAND SCORE: 2.5/3 Keep Writing!

[Unknown Member]

Dear Sir or Madam

I am extremely delighted while writing this letter to your company regarding your amazing initiatives to support local children by either sponsoring local sports team or by paying for two open-air concerts.

Firstly, I would like to talk about advantages of sponsoring local football team for a longer period of 2 years. Currently, our area doesn’t have adequate sports infrastructure and training facilities, also existing sports training are very expensive and limited making it unaffordable for mostly children especially poor. Hence, you company’s support will provide the much needed boost to sports culture in our tier 2 city, condition of football grounds will get improved significantly and ultimately it will generate outstanding sportspersons from localities.

On the other hand, I have also come across some of extremely talented children in music and I have seen some of them singing and playing wide variety of instruments such as guitar, violin, ukulele, drums etc. in local restaurants and local functions. Organizing open air concerts can give them a platform to showcase their talents to a wide variety of audience and it might open up further future opportunities for them.

I would like to make suggestion regarding the methodology to decide which initiative should be sponsored. We must organize some of sports matches along with community level singing and music competition so that localities can easily assess the talent of these children and then all the members can vote for the activity they prefer, and of course majority wins. Also, these local meetings can be used as suggestion grounds for planning strategies for the preferred initiative.

I am really excited about these initiatives and looking forward to receive a positive reply at your end.

Yours sincerely,

Sumita

[Unknown Member]

Shared feedback

[Unknown Member]

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing as a response to the feedback requested by your company for whether it should use the allocated sum to conduct two open air concerts or support a local children’s sports team for two years.

As the local children’s sport teams are not encouraged generally and are in need of the funds, they will be grateful to any help provided and advertise the company in any way they can. While the reach of a local sports team is limited, the promotion would be stable and periodic leading to long term benefits superseding the short term loss of reach.

On the other hand, paying for open air concerts would bring your company into the limelight and capture the attention of a vast number of people as the audience would not be limited to the local people but also include many foreigners.

I would like to suggest your company to support the local children’s sports team as it would encourage children to sport and throw a positive light on your famous name. Moreover, as a large company whose name is widely spread, a stable local promotion would be more beneficial than a short term wide reach that concerts can provide.

I look forward to participate in any future events of your esteemed organization.

Yours faithfully,

Suraj Parsi

[Unknown Member]

I took 30 mins to write this down.
Please suggest me any tips to shorten the span.

[Unknown Member]

plan your letter beforehand

[Unknown Member]

OPENING STATEMENT: for whether: on whether

BAND SCORE: 2.5/3 Keep Writing!

[Unknown Member]

Dear Sir or Madam,

This is regarding the philanthropic work your company is willing to do for our town and help you decide where to donate your money.

Our local children’s sports team is in dire need of financial support. It is very evident that our town’s schools lack proper infrastructure and have a shortage of funds. We all are aware that these children are very capable and with the right training, equipment and facilities they can perform at a very competitive level.

On another aspect, our town is known for its lack of vibe partially due to the absence of concerts and other fun activities for the people to be involved in. By sponsoring open-air concerts, the people would be delighted and also making our town livelier and more vibrant. Moreover, the fame will put our town’s name on top of the list and your company will be benefited by the visitors and tourists that come to visit it.

In my opinion, it would be very much appreciated if you could sponsor the children’s sports team for two years as they are in most need of this support.

Hope you would consider my suggestion.

Yours faithfully

Ram Singh

[Unknown Member]

OPENING STATEMENT: Rewrite it more clearly

BP2: On another aspect- On the other hand

for the people: for people

the people- people

making- it will make

BP 3: most need- need

BAND SCORE: 2/3 Keep Writing!