[Gurleen]

Dear Amanda,

I trust that you are doing well. I am delighted to receive a job offer for the position of Business Analyst at your esteemed company. I have always heard from you on your plans on reaching the top of the industry and also read an article about your company’s achievements in the newspaper. I want to congratulate you on having achieved your endeavours.

However, I regret to inform you that I will not be able to join your company on the said date due to my prior work commitments. I am currently working on a sales development project for a client which also requires me to visit the client’s site in New Jersey over the next three months. The work is quite challenging and interesting which cannot be delegated to any other team member since I am involved from the beginning. This project is essential for my portfolio before I make a switch.

In case of no urgency, I would like you to hold the offer for three months. Post which we can sit on the terms of employment and decide on the joining date. Please accept my sincere apologies for not joining immediately.

Looking forward to hearing back from you.

Best Wishes

Harvey Specter

[Anureet]

BAND SCORE: 2.9/3 Well Written. Keep Writing!

[PRIYA]

Dear Kim,

I hope you are having a productive week. I am feeling delighted while writing it to you that you offered me Digital marketing expert job in your esteemed consultancy firm. Recently i came across a few articles on E-magazines about your company that you guys are planning to spend a lot on digital marketing to revamp your image online, which i find really hold a good scope for a reputed company like yours.

However i regret to inform you that i will not be able to accept this job immediately as i already have my previous commitments. As you already know i have been working as a free lancer digital marketing consultant and i have a few projects going on with the fixed deadlines in coming months only. There are a few new products launch campaigning and a lot of other planning related to this going on.

I really wanted to join and work with you, if by the december you people get a suitable candidate than go ahead or if you can wait for me, i shall keep you updated if at all i am free before december.

Thanks again for having that confidence to offer me this job. I wish to hear back from you soon.

Good luck

Riyana

[Anureet]

write separate body paragraphs on each prompt

BP 1: hold-holds

BP 3: by the december- By December

write separate BPs for each prompt

BAND SCORE: 1.5/3 Keep Writing!

[Swati14]

Dear Jim,

Hope you are doing well. I have just received your offer letter in which you provide a good designation to me in your company. I would like to express my gratitude towards you for provide me such wonderful opportunity there.

I was eagerly waiting for such a nice opportunity from your company for a long time as it is well-known company and have wonderful goodwill in the market. The employees of your company always happy and satisfy with company policies and culture. Recently, I come to know that your company also provides crèche facility to the children of female workers.

Currently I am stuck in my current job and for me it is not possible to resign from this company as I have signed a bond with company last year and it will be completing in three months. So, I have to be with company for this certain time period.

I have been thinking about your job offer and decide that I would able to join your company if you can wait for just three months. It is my humble request you to please delay this offer by only this period so that I join your company as I do not want to let this offer go from my hands.

I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Thanks,

Rebecca

[Anureet]

work on grammar

BAND SCORE: 1.5/3 Keep Writing!

[Akshay Kumar]

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[Sheeba]

Dear Jeff,

Hope you are doing well. I am writing this letter regarding the job offer as Data Scientist from your company. I am grateful for getting this opportunity.

Recently I saw in the Times of India that your company got listed in Nasdoq stock exchange for having more profit which was amazing. I am glad that you are a part of that success. Congratulating you for your toil. Being a startup company and gave a tough fight with other leading Multi National Companies was a great achievement.

I feel unlucky to say that I must serve notice period in my company before my resignation. During my notice period i have to conduct Knowledge Transfer session for my team mates and I have to hand over my responsiblities to them. As per my company policy, I cannot get release from my project without conducting the Knowledge Transfer session.

I am interested to work for your company to enhance my skills and knowledge. If possible, can you please extend the date of joining? After two months I have no hurdles to accept the offer. If you do this favour, It will be useful for me.

Looking forward to working with you and waiting for the positive response from your end.

Best wishes,

Sheeba.