[Sohail Madan]

Some people commit that increasing government’s focus on reducing environmental and housing problems will lead to prevention of illness and disease. I do agree to this statement to great extent. However, i believe that not all of the health issues are avoidable, genetically transformed deformities could be one example.

In the past, it has been seen that officials did try to improve environment health, but it failed drastically. One reason for this could be lower degree of focus. In my opinion government should bring in the laws that involve strict actions on members of society who tend to pollute the environment or ignite the housing issues. Post achieving the target, food, air wouldn’t be contaminated, which are major source of illness and disease. Moreover, with proper residents people could prevent themselves from scorching heat or icy cold weather.

A study demonstrates, a person whose ancestors had diabetes are more likely to catch it than anyone else. Furthermore, lower physical activities and inappropriate choice of food results in more diseases than pollution or housing problems. We can’t just rely on officials, we need to protect ourselves as well by making the right choices about what we consume and what we do.

To conclude, I would say improved environment and reduced housing problems would definitely prevent illness and diseases. However we still have some of deformities that are hard to prevent but by taking care of ourselves we can dramatically reduce the chances of it occurring.

[isha]

Feedback:

-Grammatical errors, subject verb agreement.

-Body paragraph is incoherent.Give a clear topic sentence in the beginning and then elaborate it with supporting details.

Some people believe/think that increasing the government’s focus on reducing environmental and housing problems will lead to the prevention of illness and disease. I do agree with this statement to a great extent. However, I believe that not all of the health issues are avoidable, genetically transformed deformities could be one example.

In the past, it has been seen that officials did try to improve the environment’s health, but it failed drastically. One reason for this could be lower degree of focus. In my opinion, the government should bring in laws that require strict actions on members of society who tend to pollute the environment or ignite housing issues. After achieving the target, food, air wouldn’t be contaminated, which are major sources of illness and disease. Moreover, with proper residents people could prevent themselves from scorching heat or icy cold weather.- proper housing facilities

A study demonstrates that a person whose ancestors had diabetes is more likely to catch it than anyone else. Furthermore, lower physical activities and inappropriate choice of food results in more diseases than pollution or housing problems. We can’t just rely on officials; we also need to protect ourselves by making the right choices about what we consume and do.

Bands – 3.5/6

[khushank madan]

I completely agree that in order to prevent illness and disease, government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems.

Recently with growing awareness of environment issues, Government is taking lot of measures to reduce pollution level such as promoting using of e-vehicle etc; Government is providing incentives to manufactures and customers in the form of tax subsidy.

Houses without basic amenities such as poor ventilation leads to lot of health problems. In order to fix this problem Government needs to makes sure every house meets certain basic requirements. Government is taking measures in regard to this problem such as it launched “SABKA MAKAAN SABKA VIKAS” Yojna which ensures that every citizen has its own house.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to prevent illness and disease because our health is directly associated with the quality of our environment and house.

[isha]

Feedback:

– You need to do paraphrasing in Intro para.

– Elaborate and link your body paragraphs with main ideas. Provide supporting details.

– Word count is less than 250.

– Use synonyms.

I completely agree that in order to prevent illness and disease, the government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems.

With a growing awareness of environmental issues, the government has recently taken a number of measures to reduce pollution levels, such as promoting the use of electric vehicles and providing tax breaks to manufacturers and customers.

Houses without basic amenities, such as poor ventilation, lead to a lot of health problems. In order to fix this problem, the government needs to make sure every house meets certain basic requirements. The government is taking measures in regard to this problem, such as it launched the “SABKA MAKAAN SABKA VIKAS” Yojna, which ensures that every citizen has his or her own house.

Bands – 2.5/6

[Kumudini]

In the current era, growing pollution is posing a serious threat to people’s health and producing a variety of health issues. The majority of people believe that government should prioritize decreasing environmental contamination along with housing issues to avoid various diseases. To minimize health difficulties, I believe the government should take responsibility for reducing pollution and housing issues.

To begin with, air pollution, the most serious source of pollution, accounts for 80 percent of all pollution. Industrialization has increased greenhouse gas emissions significantly, contaminating the air. As a consequence, creating serious health issues among people. For instance, an article published in India revealed that the percentage of people suffering from respiratory problems has increased significantly in recent years. Therefore, the government must take significant efforts to alleviate this crisis.

The housing problem, which is also a major cause of sickness, should be taken into consideration by the government. Poorly built homes in unhygienic environments run the risk of attracting a large number of bacteria and germs. For instance, recent research found that people living in linked slum neighbourhoods are more susceptible to contagious illnesses like the common cold and flu. Furthermore, well-built housing in a clean environment will not only prevent disease transmission but will also protect them from adverse weather conditions.

To summarize, governments, in my opinion, should focus on minimizing pollution by introducing new rules that restrict the number of pollutants released into the atmosphere. In addition, numerous shelters should be built to protect people living in slums or on the streets from infections.

256 words

@ishasingha

[Arshitha]

Most people believe that the government should concentrate more on lowering enviornmental pollution and housing problems to get rid of illness and diseases. I totally agree to this point of view. In my opinion, to stop spreading of various ailments or diseases the government should take action in minimizing pollution and housing related issues.

Enviornmental pollution is the biggest threat in this modern era. The alarmingly increasing number of vehicles emits toxic gases which causes air pollution thereby resulting in serious health hazards. Most of the factories also contributes in polluting air by releasing various toxins and chemicals. In many of the developed cities, waste management is poor and wastes are dumped in the water sources. Thus these gets contaminated leading to the spreading of contagious diseases. The government should enforce law and order in lessening the pollution thereby saving the natural resources as well as the health of common people.

In the present situation, due to the high population, there is a house in every nook and corner. It is very important in maintaining cleanliness and proper ventilation in housing as illness of diseases spreads out much faster in a crowded area. Waste disposal is also an important thing to be taken care of as this can be a pathway for serious health hazards. Thus ensuring basic necessities such as hygiene and ventilation and proper waste management can eradicate the spreading of diseases to a great extent.

To sum up, I strongly agree to the idea that the government should take extra care in lowering pollution and housing problems for preventing illness and diseases.

[isha]

Most people believe that the government should concentrate more on lowering environmental pollution and housing problems to get rid of illness and diseases. I totally agree with this point of view. In my opinion, to stop the spread of various ailments or diseases, the government should take action to minimise pollution and housing related issues.

Environmental pollution is the biggest threat in this modern era. The alarmingly increasing number of vehicles emits toxic gases, which cause air pollution thereby resulting in serious health hazards. Most of the factories also contribute to polluting the air by releasing various toxins and chemicals. In many of the developed cities, waste management is poor, and waste is dumped in the water sources. Thus, these get contaminated, leading to the spread of contagious diseases. The government should enforce law and order to lessen the pollution, thereby saving the natural resources as well as the health of the common people.

In the present situation, due to the high population, there is a house in every nook and corner. It is very important to maintain cleanliness and proper ventilation in housing, as illness and diseases spread much faster in a crowded area. Waste disposal is also an important thing to take care of as this can be a pathway for serious health hazards. Thus, ensuring basic necessities such as hygiene, ventilation, and proper waste management can eradicate the spread of diseases to a great extent.

To sum up, I strongly agree with the idea that the government should take extra care to lower pollution and housing problems to prevent illness and diseases.

Feedback:

-Please check the words in bold for mistakes.

– Grammatical errors, like prepositions and the use of singular and plural.

– Spelling of environment.

Bands – 3/6