IELTS Essay Writing – 6 (Wasting money on the arts)Posted by Chandan on June 2, 2021 at 7:10 PM
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Q. Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere.
To what extent do you agree or disagree.
MemberJune 2, 2021 at 8:41 PM0 Network PointsActivity Points 500
Monetary decisions are quite important in a country and the power to decide upon them often vests in its government. That being said, some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere.
In a representative democracy, the people are the foremost subject matter of the country. In every diverse country, opinions are bound to contrast. In my opinion, I disagree with the fact that investing in art is considered to be wasting money. Art history and culture help natives of a country to better comprehend the history and heritage of their own country and establish a link to their roots. For example, every year, about 2 million people visit the Louvre to see the Mona Lisa, which costs $10 million. Hence, tourism can also be promoted heavily with the help of art. Not only does art help in connecting people with their legacies and traditions, but also investing in art could further prove to be beneficial to the economy.
On the other hand, however, there lies a grave problem. Many practical people might think of art as a waste of time and money. Some could also conclude that art does not promote or increase monetary profit in any form, thus, is useless. For instance, in a BBC interview, Dan Rodriguez, a very successful businessman and economist had said that he believed that art is not important to society and has got nothing to give back.
To conclude, it can be inevitably said that the value of art can only be understood by the ones who have an eye for aesthetics. Art can either be valued or it could be perceived as a waste. Thus, such an issue still remains debatable.
AdministratorJune 6, 2021 at 8:29 PM730 Network PointsActivity Points 11220
Feedback: Introduction could be improved as the exact formation is copied instead paraphrasing, contact could be more relevant as per question’s requirement with more linking words.
MemberJune 2, 2021 at 8:43 PM0 Network PointsActivity Points 300
” Science, Maths or Physics are nobel professions but art is what makes us human.” This is a quote from a critically acclaimed movie called the dead poet’s society. These days there is a belief among some people that it is not effective utilisation of money, by the government, if it is being spent on arts. This essay will explain the different perspectives that people have and emphasize on why i think though art is not as important as some other issues it cannot be entirely neglected.
There are a few reasons why people don’t like their tax money to be spent in trivialities like art. The most important reason is poverty, mostly in the underdeveloped and developed countries where it is rampant. A significant portion of the population in such countries is starving. This needs to be addressed first. When basic necessities are being compromised, there is absolutely no scope to spend on arts which, mostly, are recreational. For example, a statistic made by interviewing 1000 people from Delhi, the capital of India, had shown that people were dissatisfied with their money being used for development projects for museums.
The other aspect is that art cannot be completely forfeited as it is the very essence of what makes us humans. Art has become a creative and emotional outlet for many people. People’s mental health is impacted really positively when they make paintings ir sculpture or when they are involved in any other form of art. For instance, a study done by Harvard University in the year 2011 had shown that there was a significant drop in violent tendencies among detainees in a juvenile centre when they were made to paint everyday in contrast to the year 2009 where no such method was implemented.
To conclude, though there are problems like poverty which are far more bigger, art cannot be entirely removed from the considerations and budgets of the government as it also has played an important role in improving the quality of human lives. Therefore, i believe, there should be a reasonable share in the government’s budget for art, considering the economic and financial situation of the country.
AdministratorJune 6, 2021 at 8:57 PM730 Network PointsActivity Points 11220
Feedback: contact could be more relevant as per question’s requirement with more linking words.
MemberJune 3, 2021 at 10:21 AM30 Network PointsActivity Points 200
I believe that the arts have a prominent role in representing any country’s cultures and history. Although, expending money on it depends on government, living in democratic country we people have the right to speak our mind on the topic. Every coin has two sides and everything comes with two aspects.
In this scenario, unlike most of the people, I stand with government decision in believing that it is significant to present our prideful history to the world. Let the world slide aside for once, even our own countrymen don’t know about the rich Indian history and how different empires tumbled in different centuries, how Portuguese and then British uprising began and how it was ended by brave fighters or how the corporate India shaped itself post independence to become what it is today. Expenditure on the arts will only help the people to know what India actually is and how it has come to this point through different periods and phases.
There’s a saying that money attracts money, this quote works here as well because spending on the arts like monuments, painting and monuments for different artifacts will attract viewers from around the world. Country’s tourism will get the boost it needs to generate further money. Recently, statue of unity attracted criticism and bashing on every social media platform but people didn’t understand how beautiful the monument must be if it is attracting coverage from entire world. Yes, over half a million dollars were spent but doesn’t every income needs investment, the monument will pay for itself in long run.
So, expenditure on the arts, instead of generating heat and criticism, should gather love and praise. People need to appreciate our country’s fine history and culture and indulge in it more often. Every museum or monument attracts tourism and attention from world, so, why shouldn’t the government spend on a thing which brings media attention monetary benefits from around the globe. We just need to change the way we think and look towards the bigger picture.
AdministratorJune 6, 2021 at 9:22 PM730 Network PointsActivity Points 11220
Feedback: Needs to work on unnecessary grammatical errors, sentence formation, linking words, & content along with the relevant example in general which was not found.
MemberJune 3, 2021 at 10:26 AM430 Network PointsActivity Points 1620
The decision of utilizing money for the development of the country lies in the hand of the government of the country. I would partially disagree with the statement that government is wasting money on the arts as culture and traditions play an important role in the betterment of the country.
The money used on the artistic things or to preserve the ancient art cannot be called as waste. Art is considered as the heritage and history of the country so spending money to preserve and take care of those things stimulates economic growth. The citizens of the country learn about their history and culture through various types of arts. It help the people to connect to their traditions being followed since thousands of years back. There are lot of examples in India like The Golden temple, Amritsar and The Taj Mahal in Agra where every year lot of expenditure is done to preserve the beauty of these places as tourists from all over the world visit these places. Tourists visiting historical places, monuments and museums which holds the ancient history of any country contributes to economic growth of the country in many ways.
Some people are fond of artistic things that they are mostly involved in the activities like crafts, movies etc. They find a sense of satisfaction and it contributes to their mental health as well. The step of encouraging arts will be beneficial for the people as it will help them in stress management.
On the other hand, the people thinking that government should invest the proceeds collected from the taxes and fines for the development of the country cannot be neglected. The people starving, the ones who are fighting for employment in the underdeveloped country as well as developing countries should also be taken into account. The government should be able to eradicate these most severe problems and not leaving behind the art preservation.
In conclusion, I would say that the portion of expenditure should be fixed by the government so that none of the areas are neglected as there is need to look after the historic places and monuments which are deteriorating with time. The development should include all spheres of the country. Everything should come into consideration when finalizing the budget for each sector.
AdministratorJune 6, 2021 at 9:43 PM730 Network PointsActivity Points 11220
Feedback: well tried but failed in execution, need to work on sentence types (Grammatical Range) as found very less instead compound and simple with relevant information.
MemberJune 3, 2021 at 10:28 AM60 Network PointsActivity Points 200
It is believed by most of the people that spending money on arts is not useful and that money can be used elsewhere. I completely disagree with this and feels that each penny is worth that spends on arts.
To begin with, there are many reasons that why government encourage them. Firstly, arts helps to express ourselves which we cannot do it with our words. We can express our thoughts in the beautiful way by using arts like painting, crafts, and dance. For instance, there is saying that there are no words to express mothers love, but we can express our love and affection via painting. Furthermore, arts helps students to increase their concentration level, thinking ability. It helps students to act in creative way and it makes them smart.
Secondly, there are many countries like USA who maintains the museum with ancient arts by government. Even though government maintains this museum, visitors can visit the museum at free of cost. Moreover, it increases the interest among people. Here government intention is human should be aware of the ancient arts, so that most of the people can choose their career as arts if they are much involved and interested into that. In this way, it helps to both economy and individuals.
Furthermore, there are many advantage of arts. Arts are considered as entertainment in most of the countries like movies, crafts, paintings. It helps to both who perform arts and who enjoy them.
To conclude, arts plays crucial role in our lives. Government should provide the facilities to exhibit the arts in museum, exhibitions. I personally feel that arts must be involves in education as well, so that all students will get awareness about the arts.
AdministratorJune 6, 2021 at 10:02 PM730 Network PointsActivity Points 11220
Feedback: Really need to work on “Grammatical accuracy, Sentence formation, & Unnecessarily Grammatical & errors”.
MemberJune 3, 2021 at 10:30 AM30 Network PointsActivity Points 300
In the world many of the countries government is facing problems like rising unemployment and growing threats of crime. Poverty is still a major problem in many of the countries, out of I will discuss about my country India. In such a scenario, the government should avoid wasting money on the arts which make sense. However, in my opinion, arts also exist in the society but I do not think that the government should waste a lot of money on it.
Although we can not ignore, arts are not a waste of time and money. In fact, they are also part of generating the money to the country. For instance, if I discuss about India’s most famous art places such as heritage, museums and many other dancing and musing concerts where people come from around the world and really enjoy them. India government always target traditional arts form to promote tourism in the country. India’s traditional concert like classical dance, Punjabi bhangra & gidda and many other traditional singing concert where audience are invited to enjoy the moment from all over the world and attract thousands of international tourist to the nation which play a major role to crates jobs and helps the local economy.
Moreover, heritage and sculptures also have big commercial value. Thousands of people visit to these places and know about the history in depth. Apart there are several reasons why the government should spend money on arts. One of the predominant reasons is that art reflects the culture of a country and promotes people’s understanding of their culture and architecture.
To conclude, I believe that the government should divide the funds equally to all sectors including arts because every sector has its own contribution towards the development of a country.
AdministratorJune 6, 2021 at 11:56 PM730 Network PointsActivity Points 11220
Feedback: Lot of errors in terms of formation and verb forms “Grammatical accuracy, Sentence formation, & Unnecessarily Grammatical & errors”, Need to work on thought process.
MemberJune 3, 2021 at 10:33 AM40 Network PointsActivity Points 150
Prime factors of economy includes crucial monetary decisions and the governments handle it in well manner, such factors are dependent on country’s developing model and the vision of their leaders. The overall development of a state includes all key points such as daily needs, cultural aspects, arts and luxury as well and to maintain and it the governments spend lots of money.
The fact is the Arts is the most undervalued pillar where governments are spending minimal part of budget but the beauty is it still exists in society due to the affection of people. In my opinion it is most important part of society which keeps people intact irrespective of their religion, colour or caste. Every religion or community have their own set of art in form of sculptures, dance forms, heritage buildings etc.. which should be preserved and kept on passing to next generations. There is no doubt government is spending good amount of money to promote arts and opening new schools every year even in remote areas and the other regulatory bodies are working continuously to preserve our heritage buildings and sculptures which were crafted ages ago. This fact is proved by authorities that people are more promoting their arts and educating among themselves about ts preservation and importance in different aspects of life.
Now , the question arises is it really required to spend money on arts when people are dying of not getting their daily needs specially in developing countries. For instance, the country like India which has huge population, hundred’s of languages, multiple dance forms, cultural activities where every community has its own demand of money to promote their arts, however people are struggling to earn their basic needs in same society. The set of people in society thinks and emphasize on cut down the budget of arts and cultural department and fulfill daily requirements of a human beings.
This have been seen in communities where people are struggling to get water or food but still they do not want to leave their communal aspects such as their clothes, ornaments, dance forms, arts and crafts. Mostly in African countries, tribes are following such practices and still they are surviving which clearly shows the importance of arts in daily life.
Taking everything into consideration, I believe the monetary policies of governments must include a big amount for arts in their yearly budget which helps to develop communities interest in each other and also promotes the status of nation on world map.
AdministratorJune 7, 2021 at 12:06 AM730 Network PointsActivity Points 11220
Feedback: Lot of grammatical errors found & formation was also not there, need to work on “Grammatical accuracy, Sentence formation, & Unnecessarily Grammatical & errors”, Need to work on thought process a lot, the word limit should also not cross up to 280 words max.
MemberJune 3, 2021 at 10:55 AM0 Network PointsActivity Points 50
There are lot of other sectors that government can invest money that could lead to accelerate the nation’s growth. I strongly believe that it is better to invest money in scientific and research activities rather wasting money by investing on the arts. I shall explain the supportive points to my opinion in the subsequent paragraphs.
Now-a-days everything is linked to Science and Technology. The growth of a nation depends on the scientific inventions. If there are certain funds allocated to pharma industry, there would be more inventions in that industry and there would be readymade medicines for unexpected pandemics. To exemplify, now we are in COVID pandemic and all the countries are experiencing the consequences. There is no way to control the spread of this virus. the only alternative is to boost our immunity to fight against the virus. Moreover, every sector in the world is using computers and various software’s to perform their activities. To illustrate, USA has a very good market for IT Industry and most of their wealth depends on IT and Finance sectors. Investment in aeronautical engineering may raise in developing more crafts that would be very beneficial to the air warriors of the nation.
On the other hand, the Arts sector is just helpful to improve the personal skills and not equipped with much more opportunities to work. I am not stating that investment in that sector is useless but stressing that investing in other sectors would be greatly helpful.
To conclude that, in my opinion, where there is more investment in Science and Information Technology, there would be more growth in all the aspects of a nation.
AdministratorJune 7, 2021 at 12:11 AM730 Network PointsActivity Points 11220
Feedback: Need to work on relevant examples as found nothing & few ore complex (Grammatical Range) as well.
MemberJune 3, 2021 at 11:29 AM100 Network PointsActivity Points 500
Art is something related to extraordinary things. Art makes huge impact on our society. Particular group of society says that government should not spent money on the arts. Instead of that, money can be used to something useful. I am partially agree with that decision.
Arts like cinema and music are the important part of our culture. The entertainment industry is profitable nowadays. Many people get great pleasure in going to see movies in theater and listening to live concerts. So it is important that the government should encourage such institution so that they can continue their work for the betterment of people.
India is underdeveloped country. There are lots of poor people who lakes basic necessity like food, cloths, and home. Our medical facilities are not up to the mark. So, some people believes that we should not spent our tax money on making sculptures which costs thousands of crores. For example “The statue of unity” which is made recently in the memory of our national leader Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel, which costs around 3000 crore rupees. As per our nation’s financial problems, we should have spent those money for the improvement of our society, like creating new jobs for unemployed people, make new hospitals, schools, colleges etc.
Overall, our priority should be spent money on our basic requirements. After fulfilling these needs, we should spent some part of our budget on arts.
AdministratorJune 7, 2021 at 12:14 AM730 Network PointsActivity Points 11220
Feedback: A very limited range of structures with only rare use of subordinate clauses & unnecessary grammatical errors, less than 250 words are found.
MemberJune 5, 2021 at 1:05 PM0 Network PointsActivity Points 600
According to some individual spending money on collection of arts by the authorities is a good decision on creating a reserve of exceptional work but at the same time there are also some other individuals who thinks that there are many other areas where this amount can be spent for the betterment of the society.
There is a need to create a depository of arts for our future generation as well as for foreign individuals. As it attracts the tourism and people come to see this kind of work in the museum which result in an income and development to the native country. Admittedly it also attracts our future generation to do something innovative in the field of art and painting. Many a time this work is also sold in the auction which is of high value.
However, the expenditure on collection of artworks should be in reasonable amount as there are other areas like Poverty, Better Infrastructure which required the budget and attention of the government. The topmost priority for the authorities should be these areas and if still left with any budget, then remaining should be allocated to artwork. Because nothing is more significant than to the development of human being and the prestigious art is of no value if the people of the country is dying due to poverty or they do not have a house to live in.
To summarize, I must say that the priority for the government is to focus on other areas before collection of arts. But that does not mean government should stop funding the artwork as all these exceptional works is proud things for any country and reasonable budget should be allocated for these activities as well.
AdministratorJune 7, 2021 at 12:20 AM730 Network PointsActivity Points 11220
Feedback: Really need to work on thought process & practice a lot to understand the pattern required in task 2, as found lot of errors.
MemberJune 6, 2021 at 9:53 AM0 Network PointsActivity Points 400
Certain people assume that monetary funds being pumped into the field of arts by the government is unnecessary while some advocate that it should be utilised for other purposes but I agree to the fact that art like all other fields holds great value in a nation’s pride and money should be spend to conserve it.
It is important to allocate funds to protect a nation’s history and culture.While countries are known for it’s scenic beauty, it is also recognised for it’s rich historical heritage and this needs to be preserved for transpiring it through generations to come.Retaining and conserving our culture, art and history will develop a sense of national responsibility in our future generations.Art also lures travellers from different parts of the world to admire it’s mesmerising beauty which eventually contributes to the increase in tourism of that country improving the wealth status of the government.
Taj Mahal is a perfect example that depicts how art and culture elevates tourism where every year lakhs of people across the globe travel to see the marvellous monument.Just as the sight is a wonder, the history behind it , the emotions attached are all reasons why there are thriving travellers year after year.It is also observed that history is a prime subject taught globally in schools and colleges and the government puts in great efforts in the preservation of the country’s history to enhance the learnability of it’s students.
<font face=”inherit”>To conclude with, art, history and it’s culture forms the backbone of a country’s heritage and the </font>government<font face=”inherit”> should disburse an allocated amount of fund for it’s preservation and protection.</font>
AdministratorJune 7, 2021 at 12:25 AM730 Network PointsActivity Points 11220
Feedback: Approach is not as good as it should be through out the task & also A very limited range of structures with only rare use of subordinate clauses & unnecessary grammatical errors, less than 250 words are found & that too there is no relevant examples were found..
MemberJune 14, 2021 at 1:09 PM0 Network PointsActivity Points 100
The decision to spend money lies in the hand of government. While some progressives claim that the funds should be allocated to some other vital sectors, and some traditionalists claim that the money should be spent on arts. In my opinion, I think that these two hold equal importance.
On the one hand, arts aid in understanding the cultures and traditions of the country . To explain, whenever people visit monuments and art gallaries, they gather abundant knowledge by looking at the pictures displayed and also some of the famous artists mention the important information related to the showcased art which further helps the commoners to understand the true heritage of the nation . For example, National gallery of modern art had displayed art related to history where the real lives of the early aged people is exhibited and also which trends were being followed by those people and by seeing this , and individuals can frame a better picture in his or her mind .Therefore, government should allot money on arts for people to understand the roots of the culture.
On the other hand, higher authorities should also allocate funds to the development of the nation. To clarify, if the government spends money on the education and employment sectors, the individuals can learn and prosper in a better way which will further help the people to fetch jobs and consequently this would help the country to progress. For example, countries like Singapore and Canada are more developed not only because the education rate is high but also because people are not facing any employment challenge , in contrast to this , in India the literacy rate is low and employment is rampant . Thus, for these reasons, education and industrial development should be focused upon.
To encapsulate , arts do enlighten people about the culture and traditions of the nation and they are entitled for enough funds, however, other sectors should not be ignored, which are the building blocks of a nation.
MemberJune 14, 2021 at 7:28 PM0 Network PointsActivity Points 300
MemberJune 17, 2021 at 10:27 AM0 Network PointsActivity Points 150
Arts do play a significant role in defining the culture and religion of a country. While some people argue that the government is wasting money on arts, others believe that the money could be spent on other useful tasks. In my view, I partially agree with the argument that money invested in arts could be utilized elsewhere.
Arts is appreciated by people around the world and it is pivotal for government to invest in arts to retain and promote the cultural heritage, which by the way also leaves a mark for the generations to cherish about. According to studies conducted by Oxford University, painting regularly intrigues curiosity among children which improves brain function by 50% in comparison to kids who did not indulge in painting at all. In addition to that, creating new statues or monuments could boost the tourism industry aiding the economy.
On the other hand, as an honest tax-payer of the country, I expect my hard-earned money to be exercised for the welfare of the society, for instance, capital spent on arts could be used for employment, education, and healthcare which are of pressing concerns right now. A recent survey by S.P Jain shows that people with low wages are dissatisfied and baffled with the money used in the creation of the upcoming Statue of Chatrapati Shivaji in Mumbai. Moreover, the maintenance and repairing costs are exorbitant.
To summarize, Arts does exhibit noteworthy advantages in restoring culture, uplifting tourism, and stimulate brain development in youngsters, nonetheless, it is still seen as a luxury by certain class groups in India. In my view, I would prefer that government should make investments in other significant fields but could allocate some funds for art to not lose sight of its advantages.
AdministratorJune 17, 2021 at 5:54 PM20 Network PointsActivity Points 1230
introduction requires lot of work, it must have a proper structure – you paraphrase the question, following which your opinion and then your points to support reasons for that.
pivotal word is not apropriately used. rather vital, imperative, key role would fit better in this sentence.
pls remember the topic, there is nothing relavant to topic question in the essay. you lose masks for task response for that. Plan your essay properly before beginning to write it. you lose marks for coherence if it lacks structure.
each body paragraph ought to have two central ideas with one supporting idea each, if one central idea, then it should have two supporting indeas.
then finish with conclusion with each central idea paraphrased, ending with your opinion
please refrain from using real life examples, rather try supporting the central idea with your reasons.
don’t be personal. as an honest tax payer is wrong for addressing
you can’t agree and disagree in one essay, its contradicting your owwn self.
MemberJune 17, 2021 at 1:56 PM10 Network PointsActivity Points 200
There are many serious concerns all over the country that the government must pay attention to before emphasizing on art, although art represents the heritage of a nation, so some grants should be designated for the same. I agree with the notion that the funds devoted to art section can be better spent elsewhere where it is really required.
There are a lot of reasons which should be dealt, firstly the current unemployment rate in India has considerably increased in the past decade and due to this many people are dying from hunger. Secondly, India lags behind in health sector with only 3.5% of the total GDP invested in health, whereas America has approximately 20% of their GDP solely for the health sector. Thirdly, improvement in the infrastructure is required for a better transportation. Although in the past few years there has been a lot of improvement in the communication and transportation sector but there is still scope for improvement. Most importantly, the education sector needs a lot of development with better government schools, professional courses provided by the country and funds for innovative research projects.
However, some people believe that money should be invested in arts as it is a part of our culture, but in my opinion, money could be better spent elsewhere rather than spending on building new attractive art galleries or repairing the historical monuments for example the Old Fort of Delhi is undergoing a major remodeling with a total budget of approximately 5 million whereas it should be considered that art is not a critical aspect for sustainability of human life.
To conclude, supporting art is important to keep the heritage alive but not at the cost of compromising on other major issues.
MemberJune 17, 2021 at 2:09 PM0 Network PointsActivity Points 150
Most of the population would look forward, from the government, for betterment of the society, by investing in all essential fields rather than trivial ones like arts. I strongly agree and believe that authoritative powers of any country should prioritize in allocating budget to vital sectors.
First and foremost reason is financial requirement or survival needs of an individual is important than leisure or entertainment. Furthermore, the government must streamline and invest in increasing employment opportunities for the people , who barely cares about arts, to quench their basic necessity. For instance, one of the state in India showed keen interest in erecting a statue that costed around millions, when unemployment percentage was surging dramatically. Fortunately the plan was dropped by the government due to public pressure.
Secondly, poverty and hunger are common among destitute people, who languish in it for generations, desperately depends on the governments schemes for betterment and well being. Adequate funds must me allocated and organized by the government to uplift them, despite deliberately wasting on enhancing arts. One such incident happened, where poor people in a village created chaos and clamour, to provide basic amenities along with additional privileges from the government for their well being.
Conclusively, when people are unemployed and suffer from poverty they hardly acknowledge the governments involvement, action and result in arts. So, in spite of spending or investing money in arts it would be worthwhile in investing on peoples upliftment and prosperity
MemberJune 17, 2021 at 7:29 PM0 Network PointsActivity Points 600
Art is a form of culture which reflects the heritage of a country and nation. It is often argued that the government is spending its finances on the art and this money can be invested somewhere else and make proper use of it.
In my view , I completely disagree that the authorities should spend a large part of its budget on art rather than spending on the public services. However spending finances on art is also essential but in a proper way.
Firstly, spending some amount of budget on arts and culture is essential. To begin, it is difficult for many arts institutions to generate much profit, so without some help from the government, many theatres and other such places may have to close. Moreover, the arts also have an important impact on our quality of life. Many people get great pleasure on going to art exhibitions and also there are many historical places where arts of our ancestors can be seen. so it is important that the government should assists such institutions so that they can continue to provide entertainment to the public.
secondly, In country like India with vast population and many other countries such as somalia where there is more poverty. There are several reasons for spending a significant amount of the government budget on public services. First and foremost, public services are the things such as hospitals, roads and schools, and these things determine the quality of life . For example, if the government does not spend enough money on hospitals, the health of our society may decline. Similarly, if not enough money is spent on schools, our children may not be properly educated. Also, it will be the poor in our society that will be affected more .
In conclusion ,large amount of budget should not be spend on art but it should be upto some extent . Mean while spending money on public services is also important as it impacts the life and welfare of the society.
AdministratorJune 25, 2021 at 3:53 PM730 Network PointsActivity Points 11220
Feedback: Very well executed & approach is also quite appreciated, need to work on a bit more cohesive devices & related word. No more that 280 words.
MemberJuly 7, 2021 at 8:10 PM10 Network PointsActivity Points 1000
Spending money on arts is considered a waste of money by few people and it should be spent on other sectors. In my opinion, I totally agree with them for several reasons that I will explain in the next few paragraphs.
To begin with, there are many essential sectors such as health and education that need to maintain all the time. For example, building new schools to accommodate the increasing number of students. Also, investing in the medical research field is crucial to develop treatments that cure chronic diseases. Another point, sustaining and improving the infrastructure for the country to attract more international tourists is required globally. For instance, more funds should be spent on constructing stadiums, hotels and amusement parks that increase that rate of tourism.
On the other hand, if the government pays more attention to the arts by spending the majority of its cash on it, there will nothing left for the rest of the fields. To elaborate, investing in street-art drains out the pocket of the country with no benefit for the important areas other than adding more colors to the buildings and streets. Furthermore, arts are considered a privilege for the well-developed countries which only the wealthy people who secured a high level of living can afford to pay to enjoy such art. For instance, rich persons are willing to pay a fortune to buy a painting for a famous artist while poor people from the same area are struggling to provide food on their family tables.
In conclusion, I believe that the governments’ funds should be spent on the basic vital sectors that serve their people in the best way.
AdministratorJuly 7, 2021 at 8:20 PM1220 Network PointsActivity Points 8460
Spending money on arts is considered a waste of money by few people and it should be spent on other sectors. In my opinion, I totally agree with them for several reasons that I will explain in the next few paragraphs.
To begin with, there are many essential sectors such as health and education that need to (be maintained) all the time. For example, building new schools to accommodate the increasing number of students. Also, investing in the medical research field is crucial to develop treatments that cure chronic diseases. Another points is that, sustaining and improving the infrastructure for the country to attract more international tourists is required globally. For instance, more funds should be spent on constructing stadiums, hotels and amusement parks that increase the rate of tourism.
On the other hand, if the government pays more attention to the arts by spending the majority of its cash on it, there will nothing left for the rest of the fields. To elaborate, investing in street-art drains out the pocket of the country with no benefit for the important areas other than adding more colors to the buildings and streets. Furthermore, arts are considered a privilege for the well-developed countries which only the wealthy people, who secured a high level of living, can afford to pay to enjoy such art. For instance, rich persons are willing to pay a fortune to buy a painting for(from) a famous artist while poor people from the same area are struggling to provide food on their family’s table.
In conclusion, I believe that the governments’ funds should be spent on the basic vital sectors that serve their people in the best way.
It’s an excellent effort.
No grammatical errors, Kudos!
Writing is structurally sound
Enough good words are used (there is room for more)
Band Score: 5.5/6.0