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  • IELTS Essay Writing: Big Salary

     Ashwani updated 6 days, 19 hours ago 5 Members · 8 Posts
  • Abhinav

    October 12, 2021 at 8:53 PM
    600 Network Points
    Activity Points 3610

    Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree.

    Give reasons for your answer and provide relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

    Write at least 250 Words.

  • hari

    October 12, 2021 at 9:45 PM
    30 Network Points
    Activity Points 1290

    It is often considered that, having a lucrative career provides more satisfaction than a job that gives a sense of fulfilment. I strongly disagree with this notion. This essay bolsters my statement.

    To begin with, money can provide material fulfilment but not self-satisfaction. Nowadays, we see affluent people visiting meditation instructors and psychiatrists people to relieve stress. The most common reason being the inability to handle stress despite having lucrative salaries. Had money being the index for happiness, they wouldn’t have done this. For instance: The majority of my friends have left high paid jobs and started following their passion in order to have a sense of fulfilment.

    Secondly, job satisfaction propels career growth in the longer run. when we love what we do, it stimulates our true potential and motivates us to do greater things. For example, The famous meditation instructor “Vishen Lakhiani” has divulged in his landmark book i.e., how he became a successful person by leaving his monotonous job and followed his heart to become a millionaire. In spite of facing a plethora of hurdles.

    In short, while money can garner material satisfaction, it cannot provide true happiness which can only be gained by job satisfaction. Besides, if we are perseverant while following our passion, we may face challenges at the initial encounters; however, we can do wonders in the longer run. Therefore, I prefer to choose job satisfaction over a big salary.

    • Abhinav

      October 12, 2021 at 9:49 PM
      600 Network Points
      Activity Points 3610

      Psychiatrist -people- is not required

      Salaries are not lucrative jobs are…

      Except these mistakes, it is written beautifully. The sentences are constructed with ample complexity. Lexical resources are utilised properly and in relevant places.

      Band score weightage: 5.0/6.0

  • Mohit

    October 12, 2021 at 9:48 PM
    120 Network Points
    Activity Points 980

    Job satisfaction of the employee is something which can make a company to touch the sky. But what contribute more in job satisfaction? whether it a big salary package ? or something else? Well, this essay will caste the glimpse on role of big salary for job satisfaction.

    The supremacy of a lucrative salary package, in job satisfaction , can not be ignored by anyone and this is the most attractive factor in any segment, which alone is capable enough to pool the talent towards an organization. It is illustrated further that an employee will have to accomplish the various need of his offspring and ménage , and if he is not able to make sufficient earning , then very soon he will become irritate and will start to look for a change.

    Secondly , the precedence of good remuneration is always considered a big factor amongst the human capital. The salary is the only thing which assure an worker about his future. in other words , if he receives a good payout , which is sufficient enough for not only to meet his daily requirement but also to be deposited in saving account, his gratification towards the job would be more vivid.

    Finally , from the above it may be derived that an employee works for the money and if he do not get a good stipend then obviously he will loose the interest very soon and will start to search for a job, And unequivocally the attrition from a company signals about the un-satisfaction amongst the employee. Thus the role of tantalizing salary package in job satisfaction is proclaimed.

    • Abhinav

      October 12, 2021 at 9:53 PM
      600 Network Points
      Activity Points 3610

      Mohit this was agree or disagree essay, you did not provide a thesis statement in your introduction, which is required in these kinds of essays.

      This was an exceptional writing. I’m pretty impressed with your sentence construction and use of vocabulary. You try to include a lot of uncommon words which is an upgrade in your writing. The best thing is that I did not find any grammatical errors. Commendable work.

      Band score weightage: 5.5/6.0…. Half of the band is deducted only for structural anomaly in introduction.

  • Harsaroop Kaur

    October 12, 2021 at 9:51 PM
    200 Network Points
    Activity Points 490

    In today’s materialist world, everyone is crazy about making money. People think the more money they make, the more comfortable life they would live because they believe in the fact that money can buy happiness, however, I completely disagree to this.

    I strongly believe that if people are not satisfied with their job, it would affect their mental peace. I had a similar situation when I was in my first job. I didn’t get the job role that I desired for, but my company was paying me a handsome salary. I joined the company but after 1-2 months it started feeling like a trap as if I was in a rat race. It ruined my mental health. Then, I understood that money cannot buy you peace and I quit the job.

    Also, people running after big salary packages end up facing major health issues. With bigger salary packages, come bigger responsibilities and with that scenario nowadays the working professionals get blood pressure related problems in their mid-30’s. They don’t realize what are they paying for the salary they are getting. People forget about their passions and aspirations; all they care about is money.

    To conclude, I agree that money can solve a lot of problems in life, but it cannot buy you satisfaction. If someone is satisfied with their job, it is the biggest earning. If people are unwilling doing a job, just for the sake of big salary, they can end up facing various health issues at a very tender age.

    • Abhinav

      October 12, 2021 at 9:57 PM
      600 Network Points
      Activity Points 3610

      However I completely disagree with this..

      No grammatical errors to mention here, however the sentence complexity is not enough. There were a lot of opportunities to join multiple sentences together that you missed. For example:

      To begin with I strongly believe in the notion that if people are not satisfied with the job it would affect their mental peace that I can cooperate with the situation that happened to me in my first job where I did not get the role I desired but the company offered me a handsome salary for a different role which ultimately I took……(no break required)

      “Use more lexical resources”

      Use more cohesive devices to start the paragraph.

      Band score weightage: 4.0/6.0

  • Ashwani

    October 13, 2021 at 7:34 PM
    150 Network Points
    Activity Points 190

    Getting fat pay cheques are often considered paramount in a work environment rather than opting for a job profile which fosters inner fulfilment. This essay strongly disagrees with the notion that getting rich at the expense of personal contentment is at all beneficial in the long run.

    First of all, earning hefty amounts as compensation brings greater responsibility towards job and tremendous stress which may leads to catastrophic consequences. One cannot always withstand constant mental fatigue and physical exertion such high paying jobs demand day in and day out. It can push people to the brink where they are more likely to collapse. As per recent instances, many top earning executives committed suicides in the last two years as they were not able to cope up with the day to day rigour of their highly paying job demanded and ever increasing stress.

    Secondly, on the contrary if someone is discharging duties which one is quite passionate about performs to his full potential. If you are performing tasks which you love and cherish, makes you not only fulfil you goals but put you in a precious league of over achievers which in turn bring greater rewards in the long run. For example, Satya Nadella and Sundar Pichai excelled in their field as they were quite exuberant and enthusiastic in their jobs.

    To conclude, the most successful, happy and healthy people are those who perform their jobs cheerfully with unwavering zeal without being unnecessarily buried under unrealistic expectations and unlocking their full potential to deliver unprecedented results.

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