[Nikita]

Success is not something easily achieved, as it takes dedication and determination to reach their goal. Usually, success is related easily to individuals when they are wealthy and popular. But there are few characteristics which determine a successful person. This essay will give its opinion on how people relate success with being rich and famous; as well as discuss the qualities required for a successful person.

To commence with, when thinking about being rich and famous is directly correlated with success. This occurs due to the belief that achieving a higher position will bring popularity and more wealth in one’s life but underestimate the hard-work. For instance, from young age children are taught if a person is wealthy and popular means he/she is successful like Bill Gates. But forget to mention the efforts put forward for achieving their goals. Furthermore, success does get you famous and brings income sometimes but it’s the efforts that matters more for the person.

On the other hand, an accomplished individual always tends to shine usually because of their behavior towards other people. One may be successful but rude to others will be disrespected by its followers but when polite to people gets the person more popularity. For instance, footballer L. Messi gets easily noticed for his success but mainly because of his personality like being polite, dedicated, professionalism, etc. whereas, successful singer Drake is famous but not liked by many because of his attitude towards his fans. Hence, no matter how successful a person becomes he/she should be aware of its behaviour as that what makes them standout in the crowd.

In conclusion, success is correlated with wealth and fame but hard-work and dedication matters as well as the qualities determine more about the person than the wealth.

[Shahbaz]

* Some multi-clause sentences have structural defects. That’s the most noticeable problem.

Score: 4/6