[Shahbaz]

Edit :

-remind him when and where you met

– tell him what kind of job you are interested in

-say why you think you would be suitable for the job

[Mamta]

Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter to remind you of our last visit on a plane and you advised me to contact you regarding my job in your restaurants.

Last Sunday, when we were going from Pune to Delhi. By chance I got a seat next to you. During snack time we talked to each other about the quality of food that was provided to us and then we discussed some things related to the hotel industry. As you have been related to this field for the last 20 years and you own a chain of restaurants, you gave some valid points related to the growth in this industry.

You also told me that there might be some suitable job options for me as well in your restaurants. So I am thinking of changing my current job and want to apply in your restaurants, I have checked your website and found that I am suitable for a manager post and I am keen to work with you.

I have a work experience of 7 years in this particular field as an assistant manager. I have dealt with many customers and have attended many seminars related to customer dealing . The certificates related to those sessions would be definitely beneficial for me to understand customer behavior and to resolve customer queries in an effective way that would be useful for your business.

I have attached my resume with this letter. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours Faithfully,

Mamta Gulia

[Shahbaz]

* ‘regarding my job in your’ ( I would use ‘regarding a job…’ because it is not something you have right now)

* ‘Last Sunday, when we were going from Pune to Delhi’ ( Usually when we use ‘when’ to introduce a clause, the other clause is in the same sentence. Here, you wrote it as a second sentence after a full stop)

* ‘As you have been related to this field’ ( I think ‘As you have been in this field’ is better)

Most of the sentences were structurally sound and error-free.

Score : 5/6

[Manju]

Pls review

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[Shahbaz]

* “in response to our discussion on flight”

I think a better way of saying this would be “to follow up on the discussion we had on the flight to NY”

* I believe ‘in-house’ should be hyphenated. Please check.

* ‘rewarded with [a title]’ is not grammatically wrong. However, ‘awarded [a title]

is more commonly used.

* ‘I think, I am best fit’ ( ‘I am best fit’ might not be correct. I am not sure what the correct form should be. It could be ‘the best fit’. Please check)

Score : 5/6

[Sheeba]

Dear Clinton,

Hope you are doing well. I am Sheeba, who was your co passenger in the AirIndia flight. You suggested me to contact you for jobs in your restaurants, so writing this letter to express my keen interest to apply for a job in one of your restaurants.

We met each other in the London airport, also we had our seats nearby. You explained about the job offers in the field of Information and Technology.

I am interested to work in the software development team which is relevant to my career.

This stream will be suitable for me because my role in my current company is to develop web applications. I can automate the given data and no need to track the data manually. This opportunity will enhance my skills. I request you to consider my application and do the needful.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,

Sheeba Jebin.