[kartik]

Dear Sir/ Madam,

This is in regards to your advertisement in the Sydney herald about living with your family and taking care of your child.

I am a student at the University of Queensland ,pursuing a course in Child care & nursing, and would like to express my interest in this opportunity. Having been part of several student exchange programs in various countries and with an extensive experience of Australian culture, I thoroughly believe that I would be an appropriate fit for this opportunity.

I usually spend my time reading novels and collecting stamps , and am also a travel enthusiast. Since a major part of my course involves child care, I see this an excellent opportunity to gain practical exposure ,to my path in becoming a Child care and nursing expert.

If you believe, I align with the values you inculcate in your family, you can revert back to me on the below address.

I would also be happy to provide any references, if required.

Thank you!

Regards,

Kartik Bindra

12, Palmerston road

Sydney

E7 8 BH

[Falak]

This is in regards to your advertisement in the Sydney herald about living with your family and taking care of your child. (I would appreciate if you explained the purpose of writing more clearly by presenting yourself as suitable candidate)

An ideal approach would be discussing each bullet point in distinct paragraph with supporting details

Keep writing!!

Band : 1.5/3

[Mohit]

Adobe-Scan-16-Dec-2021.pdf 769 KB PDF - Click to view

• Copy Download Link

[Falak]

australia (Australia- proper noun)

well – written

Yours sincerely (faithfully)

Band : 2/3

[jose joy]

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing this letter regarding the advertisement you placed in the magazine, regarding taking care of your wonderful 6-year-old.

I love children from very early own, while growing up, I was sure whom i want to be. It is to cater for the young ones. During my teens, I have served as a babysitter for my neighbors.

I am professionally trained for Manny service from Norland’s, which is considered as the most prestigious institute for training for becoming a Manny/nanny. The institute is located in the UK, and the people who graduated from here have served the biggest families around the world. We are trained in all aspects of child care, compact training in case of possible attacks. Specialized training is also given in traditional medicine, children’s food, and how to make them grow mentally, one good thing about it is we will try to make a connection to parents more by blending into the background.

I had previously been employed by a family for 3 years taking care of their 4 young ones, I stayed with them. Since they are moving out to another country, I am looking into new venues.

I will dedicate all my time caring for your kids, also will provide space wherever necessary for the kid’s growth. and during free time, I know stitching and weaving, which would help the kids as well.

Hope to hear from you soon, regarding the opportunity. and can share the reference of the previous family.

Yours faithfully,

Jose J tharayil

[Falak]

I am professionally trained for Manny (Nanny) service from Norland’s,

I am writing this letter regarding the advertisement you placed in the magazine, regarding taking care of your wonderful 6-year-old. (You can present yourself as candidate in the first paragraph to make purpose of writing even more clearer)

band : 2/3

Keep writing!!

[Vikas]

@falak

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing this letter to express my interest to the advertisement given in the Vogue’s Australia edition of Dec 2021 to live with you and take care of your six year old child.

I have keen interest in taking care of children and during my childhood days, I took responsibility of my younger siblings when my parents were away for work and further during my college days as well I took up the Nanny’s role in my own country for the period of 1 year.

I am currently studying in Environmental science in a university and currently working on a biodiversity project. I am eager to come to Australia for my project work as well as this country provides me opportunity to explore local species, culture, language and during my free time I will work on my project as well.

I am hoping that I will be of great help in not only taking care of your child but also using my past teaching experience which will help your child’s development.

Looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

Vikas Garg

[Falak]

Yours sincerely, (faithfully)

Keep writing!!

band: 2.5/3

[Kenya]

Dear sir/madam,

I am writing this letter in regarding with the advertisement you have published in today’s news paper, regarding a person required for living with a family and taking care of your six year child.

My self is john, I am from London , I came to Australia in 2018 for child and day care course from University of Australia.As this is final year of my studies , I have time period for around six months before my degree completed.

I found that your advertisement suits me in each way,as i need to place for living and have good skills of handling a child. Moreover i can gain some income as well as some practical experience while doing this job. I am very comfortable with kids, In addition to that, soon i am going to open a day care home in Australia after my studies completed.

I will wait for your prompt reply regarding this letter in a positive way.

Thanking you in advance.

Yours Faithfully

John.

[Falak]

My self (it goes after the verb ; reflexive pronoun) (My name is) is john,(John)

i (I) need to (a) place for living

ay how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia (unanswered)

Also I felt , few sentences required more explanation to establish cohesion.

“I” needs to be capitalised

Band: 1.5/3

[Shanthala]

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing this letter to express my interest towards an advertisement published in today’s Australian magazine “Times of Australia” to stay with your family and take care of your toddler for six months.

Currently,I am pursuing Master’s in Queen’s college and staying in a college accomodation, which is expensive.I am looking for a job to meet my expenses and to save money to pursue my PhD program for next year.Also,I would like to spend time with toddlers as they are my stress busters and fun to be around.

Since I am in final year of my post graduation,I need not attend classes and my work involves only submitting a project report.I have experience in taking care of my younger brother when he was a toddler, while in India.I can entertain the toddler by playing games and make the kid sleep nicley during night times by singing lullabies.I am patient enough to take care of kid’s tantrums. Also, I have gained a certificate in day-care training which can add value to this job.

During my free time, while in Australia,I would like to visit parks and sancturies with my friends as I am a nature lover.Sometimes,I read books and tell stories to small kids at school.

Looking forward for a positive response.

Yours faithfully,

Minne

[Falak]

Well-written, keep writing!!

Band: 2.5/3

[Azra]

letter-evaluation.pdf 535 KB PDF - Click to view

• Copy Download Link

[Falak]

since (for) eight years

attained ( to attend)

Improve the sentence structure

Band: 2/3

[Rama Laxmi]

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing this letter with regards to the advertisement which is published in recent magazine. I would like to apply for this caretaker offer if the opportunity is still available.

I have been to Australia couple of months back for my education. As I got admission for the evening classes, I feel bored to spend my day. Also, I need some part time job which can be helpful to manage my monthly expenses independently.

Apart from the above reason as I stay at the university accommodation, I miss my little brother. I am used to play with him, feed him food and handled well when he goes crazy crying. This makes me feel that I would be able to take good care of your child.

Also, I am new to Australia. For which I don’t have much works to be taken care apart from my classes and library. This job offer will help me be occupied.

Looking forward to hear from you at your convenient time.

Yours Sincerely,

Rama

[Falak]

feedback : As discussed, monotonous sentence structure has been used. Try to use range of varied sentences.

keep writing!!

[Kapil]

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing this letter regards to advertisement which is posted in an Australian magazine for care taker job.

I have been living in Australia since a year with my family and studying Care Taker course from the RWTH university. As of now due to summer vacation I would like to utilize these holidays.

As per my profession, I have knowledge of Care Taker and would like get the chance to make in the practice.I have also 1 year prior experience in India in the same field which is one the reason for capability to doing this work.

I’m fond of traveling and always looking to get experience of new places which give a spark to learn new culture and number of people from the varied places. I already visited number of places in Australia during my free time.

I am requesting to consider my application for this post and looking forward to get reply from your side.

Your’s faithfully,

XYZ

[Falak]

would like (to) get the chance to make in the practice

which is one the reason (reasons) for (my) capability to doing this work.

As of now(,) due to summer vacation

third bullet point is about what you would like to do in free time, I advise to mention that as well, hence the last one is not developed completely.

Your’s (Yours) faithfully

Proof- reading is must to avoid grammatical slips.

Keep writing!!

Band: 1.5/3