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  • Letter Writing -4 (Forgotten Envelop )

     NIL Admin updated 2 months ago 11 Members · 16 Posts
  • NIL Admin

    Administrator
    June 11, 2021 at 12:12 PM
    1360 Network Points
    Activity Points 6070

    You stayed at your friend’s house when you attended a conference in Australia. Unfortunately, you left a large envelope with some important documents in your room. Write a letter to your friend. In the letter:

    thank your friend for the stay
    describe where you left the envelope
    ask him/her to return it to you by post
    Begin your letter as follows: Dear _________

    You should write at least 150 words. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

  • femmy

    Guest
    June 11, 2021 at 12:33 PM

    Dear Rushi ,

    I hope you are doing well . It was an amazing time spent with you . I want you to know that I left my very important documents at your home.

    Thankyou , stay at your home was very memorable for me .You took great care of me ,especially your parents were so loving and caring. Your house was extremely comforting, I didn’t even realize that I had spent 20 days away from my family.

    Also, the envelope that I left is in your living area and is next to the brown sofa where medium size table is placed , It’s there in the third drawer . I hope it would easy for you to found now.

    I’m sorry that I am causing trouble to you . I want you to please send that envelope through the post by 20th November .You know , it will take approximately 15 days to reach India so do it on the prior basis. I wouldn’t have bothered you but this envelope is required for my new job because they would be verifying my original documents.

    Take care and see you soon.

    With love,

    Emma

    • NIL Admin

      Administrator
      June 14, 2021 at 12:29 PM
      1360 Network Points
      Activity Points 6070

      It would be easy for you to find

      I’am sorry that I am bothering you with this.
      I request you to send that envelop, because I need it by 20th November.
      Please do it on priority basis.

      Band Score: 2.0/3.0

  • Rahul

    Member
    June 11, 2021 at 10:03 PM
    0 Network Points
    Activity Points 200

    Dear Adam,

    I hope you are doing good, and it was nice time that I spent at your home during my conference to Australia. I am writing this letter to inform you about the documents I left at your house during my stay and need these documents at the earliest.

    First, I am very grateful to you for offering me to stay at your house as I thought it was my business trip and by allowing me to stay at your house make my boring business trip more enjoyable. As together we had a lot of fun after a long time, and it reminds me of my school days when we played together at school ground.

    Moreover, I want to inform you that while staying at your house, I left one envelope blue in color in an elmirah of bedroom where I kept all my clothes. It would be very helpful if you can send these documents by speed post at my address as an envelope contain very important and confidential documents of my clients which I need to show this to my client in next week meeting.

    Take care and see you soon.

    Best Wishes

    ABC

  • Rashmi

    Member
    June 12, 2021 at 1:43 AM
    30 Network Points
    Activity Points 550

    Dear Mercy,

    I hope this letter finds you in best health. I reached safely and in the process of settling back into the routines, after the wonderful holiday with you in Australia. I am writing to inform you that I have inadvertently left a blue envelope containing my original transcripts in your bedroom.

    You may recall that on the last night, while packing my suitcase, I had placed the envelope in the white cupboard in your bedroom, so as to prevent it from crumpling inside the bag. However, unfortunately, the next morning in the anxiety to reach the airport, I left the envelope behind.

    I am in the process of applying for my assessment of credentials for which the transcripts are mandatory, so I have to seek your help by immediately couriering the envelope to me at my office address : XYZ, Law Firm, Circle Town, Chennai, India which will enable onward submission of the same within the deadline.

    I know how immersed you are in your research work, but for this urgent requirement, I wouldn’t have troubled you at this juncture. Am sure you will appreciate.

    Looking forward to seeing you again.

    Warmest regards

    Jillian Blonde

    • Vishakha

      Member
      June 14, 2021 at 4:16 PM
      0 Network Points
      Activity Points 300

      You have done a fairly good job but it seems wordy. You can concise your write up by eliminating redundant words and elaborate sentences. Pls see the corrections in bold.

      I am in the process of applying for my assessment of credentials for which the transcripts are mandatory, (The transcripts are mandatory in my application process and hence I request you to courier them to me as soon as possible to the below mentioned address). So I have to seek your help by immediately couriering the envelope to me at my office address : XYZ, Law Firm, Circle Town, Chennai, India which will enable onward submission of the same within the deadline.

  • Kashif

    Guest
    June 15, 2021 at 11:41 AM

    It was a nice time that I spent at your home during my conference in Australia. and it reminds me of my school days when we played together at <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>the school ground. T<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>he bedroom where I kept. it reminds me of my school days when we used to play together at the school ground.

    The envelope contains very important and confidential documents.

    (Could have used more variety of modal verbs and other shades of Language, Active passive, Causative verbs, etc.)

  • Pooja

    Member
    June 22, 2021 at 7:15 PM
    0 Network Points
    Activity Points 150

    Dear Shalini,

    I hope you and your family are doing well. I am delighted to tell you that it was a very good time I spent with you and your family last week.

    I also want to inform you that I left an envelope in the guest bedroom with some important documents in it. You will find the envelope under the bedside table placed beside the bed.

    I am appearing for a job interview next week and I would need to submit those documents at the time of joining. I apologize to trouble you for this. I request you to send the envelope to my home address before next week.

    I hope to see you again when you come to India for summer vacations.

    Best wishes,

    Priya.

    • Admin

      Administrator
      June 23, 2021 at 1:56 PM
      370 Network Points
      Activity Points 8780

      Feedback: Need to work on 3 bullet points, also approach as per letter requirement. words are also less than 150.

  • Eman

    Member
    July 10, 2021 at 11:16 AM
    10 Network Points
    Activity Points 1000

    Dear Maya,

    Thank you so much for letting me stay at your house during my conference in Australia last week. It was really very generous of you! We should start planning for our next vacation trip to France soon.

    Unfortunately, I forgot very important documents in your room when I left the house. These documents were kept in an A4 size brown color envelope on the counter. I think it was next to the right side of the bed in the first drawer. It has my name and signature on the label stuck on the back of it.

    I am sorry to disturb you, but I really have to submit these documents to my line manager by the end of this week. So could you send me the envelope by mail? My mail address is 678 Anderson, south parkway, NY 2332.

    I really appreciate your help with this urgent matter.

    Thank you,

    Eman

    • NIL Admin

      Administrator
      July 10, 2021 at 11:22 AM
      1360 Network Points
      Activity Points 6070

      Thank you so much for letting me stay at your house during my conference in Australia last week. It was really very generous of you! We should start planning for our next vacation trip to France soon.

      Unfortunately, I forgot very important documents in your room when I left the house. These documents were kept in an A4 size brown color envelope on the counter. I think it was next to the right side of the bed in the first drawer. It has my name and signature on the label stuck on the back of it.

      I am sorry to disturb(bother you), but I really have to submit these documents to my line manager by the end of this week. (It would be a great help if you could send me the envelop though mail) So could you send me the envelope by mail? My mail address is 678 Anderson, south parkway, NY 2332.

      I really appreciate your help with this urgent matter (and also looking forward to meeting you again soon.) great

      Band Score: 2.0/3.0

  • Nilesh

    Member
    August 4, 2021 at 1:35 PM
    10 Network Points
    Activity Points 1250

    Dear John,

    How are the things with you? Yesterday night, I have reached safely to home town from Sydney. Thank you so much for accompanying and accommodating me during this visit. I had great time with you. Today, while unpacking, I have realised that I have forgot my envelope at your home during this tenure & hence i am writing this letter to you to check and find out that envelope and courier back to me.

    This envelope is very important to me. I have travelled mainly to Australia to sign a deal with EPC firm. The all signed contractual documents are in that envelope only. Without these documents the new contract will not stand valid & this could lead to my dismissal from the company. I guess, I have kept this envelope in guest room cupboard where I have kept my luggage.

    Hence, please try to send this parcel as soon as possible via DHL express delivery to my address so that i can furnish the same to my manager within 3 days time. Without any fail, send me your bank account details so that i can transfer the said amount which is required for courier.

    Rest of things are fine with me. Once Again thank you so much spending time with me. I have really cherished this tour only because of you. Please do visit to my hometown.

    Hope to see you soon.

    Take care.

    Cheers!

    Nilesh

    • Dipinder

      Administrator
      August 12, 2021 at 4:17 PM
      20 Network Points
      Activity Points 1230

      You have exceeded word limit by almost 100 words, which is sheer waste of time and energy and above all you have not planned your letter at all. All your points are entangled with each other, you

      Second line mentioning reaching of your home safely is irrelevant

      then you suddenly began to expand 1st bullet point(accompanying and accommodating)

      Then you wrote purpose of writing this letter which should be the second line of you letter and part of intro.

      Try making informal letter more chatty and friendly sounding.

      Keep the intro short and crisp, with only intro line/opening line such as: i hope all is well on your side or i hope you all are doing great or i hope this letter finds you fit as fiddle or i hope this letter finds you in best of health, so on and finally with the purpose of writing the letter for instance in this letter – i’m writing this letter to ask you to send my yellow envelop, that i left on the table beside the bed in the room i stayed.

      There are frequent grammatical errors in your writing. Tenses are not appropriate in many places-

      while unpacking, I have realised that I have forgot my envelope => while unpacking, i realised that i have forgotten my envelope…

      Make different paragraph for each bullet point, dont combine your intro with 1st bullet point. And plan your letter before beginning to write. Use as many contractions (i’ve, i’m, can’t, don’t, shouldn’t, wouldn’t, etc) as possible and do not digress from the points instructed to write on. It costs you marks for task response. Write only relevant and necessary information. Last paragraph that you have written is not required. Finish expanding the three bullet points and end your letter with just one closing line as you have written (Hope to see you soon.)

      In the end, write only one thing before first name followed by comma

      Regards/love/miss you,

      Nilesh

      1/3

  • Abhinav

    Administrator
    August 12, 2021 at 5:40 PM
    600 Network Points
    Activity Points 4000

    My

  • Tanya

    Member
    August 23, 2021 at 4:04 PM
    0 Network Points
    Activity Points 1430

    Dear Marry,

    Hope you are doing well. I had a wonderful stay with you and I wish to inform you that I have forgotten an envelope with essential documents in your room.

    I would like to thank you for the 15 days stay at your place as otherwise, it would have been difficult for me to stay in Australia. It was an amazing stay and I will cherish it forever.

    It is a red color envelope and you will find it in the corner wardrobe where all my luggage was placed. After my conference on that last day, I have kept that envelop on the topmost shelf and therefore may have forgotten it.

    It would be great if you can seal that envelop and courier it on a priority basis as it contains all my conference-related documents which I have to present to my boss.

    Thank you in advance.

    Best,

    Tanya

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