[Sheeba]

Many business think that freshers who just graduated from schools have a lag in interpersonal skills for instance, working with colleagues in their team. This essay will explain the reason for the issue and the solutions for this problem.

To begin with, the reason why newbies lack interpersonal skills is because they do not have exposure to the corporate world. In schools, management does not develop their interpersonal skills instead they make their student to attain good grades. Interpersonal skills will develop when they start taking their own responsibilities. During school, they form a small gang who are their pals and their gang members will have similar quality. But in the office they have to work with different people as a team irrespective of region, language and culture. So there may be some conflicts because of the lack of interpersonal skills.

In addition to that, every organization has to conduct a program to develop interpersonal skills before allocating them to the project. In training period freshers are learning only about the technology. Skills related course has to be added in the curriculum during training. Many activities has to be conducted to understand the importance of the skills. Before they move to project newbies has to be formed as a group with people in different language and region to do capstone projects. During this phase they learn a lot about anger management, team work and their communication skill will also develop.

In conclusion, it is organization’s responsibilities to transform student to a employee so that they can understand the corporate world. Interpersonal skill is a skill which helps them to present themselves. Skills speak louder than their speech.

[Shahbaz]

* I don’t think the use of ‘lag’ in the first sentence is appropriate.

* “because they do not have exposure to the corporate world” (This is not grammatically incorrect. However, I think ‘because they have not been exposed to’ sounds better)

* “not develop their interpersonal skills instead they make” ( a comma was needed after ‘skills’)
* The verb ‘make’ is usually not used with ‘to’ (e.g. “They make him work hard” not ”make him to work hard”)

*”In training period freshers are learning only about the technology.” ( I assume that, here, you wanted to make a general point about training periods. In that case, “During their training period, freshers only learn about…” would have been better. The simple present tense in the place of the present continuous since a general point is being made)

*”Many activities has to be” (have to be)

4/6

[Yanshi]

A lot of businesses and corporates hold the opinion that the freshers who recently get graduated from universities often lack interpersonal skills, such as teamwork. In my opinion, this deficiency of skills occur due to several reasons such as lack of exposure and experience. This essay will reflect on some of the probable causes and solutions.

With the fast pace the world is moving today, one needs to posses certain essential life skills and expertise, in order to sail through life. However, in an education system that primarily focuses on grades and marks, rather than actual skills one possess, it becomes inevitable to escape the rat race. Several institutions, stuck in their old-school curriculum, fail to provide their students with crucial skills, relevant resources and adequate exposure of real life circumstances. Instead, these students are tossed into irrelevant activities that hold no value in real life, for instance, race for getting more marks in exams. Lack of practical knowledge and experience make these freshers feel out of place, once they step out of their institutions into the real life. Life demands life skills from them, such as resilience and teamwork, which they fail to provide, due to insufficient knowledge and exposure.

The lack of relevant skills and incompetence is not entirely the student’s fault. Their schools play a primary role in incorporating these skills in their students, by exposing them to the real world situations. A lot of knowledge and information, that people gather from their schools, is of no relevance in the real world. So it becomes significantly essential for these institutions to update their curriculum in accordance with relevant skills and practical knowledge. Even though it reflects schools’ incompetency when they are not able to provide their students with efficient resources, students cannot entirely rely on them and go complacent. They need to take the hold of their situation and work towards getting skilled and competent.

In conclusion, it is entirely true that the people these days lack relevant skills such teamwork as they freshly get graduated, which more or less, reflects the inefficiency of college degrees. The education system needs some serious reforms in order to take out the best from them and equip them with necessary skills.

[Shahbaz]

[words in bold are corrections]

* The essay is much longer than it needs to be. Although there is no upper word limit in the writing test, a longer essay might contain irrelevant ideas. In this essay, it does seem at times like you have tried to include many ideas. Check out the sample Task 2 essays that I shared with you. Carefully look at how the ‘topic sentence(s)’ of each paragraph (the first sentence) is then elaborated in the ‘supporting sentences’ that follow it. Very often, what we need is not more ideas, but better articulation and ‘expansion’ of the ideas we present.

* “this deficiency of skills occurs“
* “it becomes inevitable to escape the rat race” (The meaning that this sentence is trying to convey is not clear. Are you saying it’s necessary/important to escape the rat race? If so, ‘inevitable’ would not fit here.
* “adequate exposure to real life circumstances.”
* In my opinion, ‘significantly essential’ does not collocate well.
* Please check if ‘go complacent’ is correct. I think it should be ‘become complacent’

Overall, your essay demonstrates excellent range and accuracy in grammar and vocabulary.

5/6

[Swati14]

Most of the businesses believe that newcomers, who recently completed graduation, have a lack of interpersonal skills like work as team members. This essay will first look at the reasons why this is happening and then explore the solution for it.

The primary reason for this is that newcomers are usually unaware of the work culture of an organisation, and their mindsets are different from those required by the corporate surroundings. The new employees have not been any experience of corporate etiquette and environment because these skills had not been taught by the schools. For instance, in school students have informal associations with their classmates but when they enter the corporate world, they have to maintain a formal alliance with their colleagues.

To solve this, every company should conduct an orientation program that could help newcomers to fit in a new environment, and it also helps to learn the work culture of an organisation. This kind of training program can stimulate the new employees to grasp new things readily, boosts their confidence, and they could learn, slowly and gradually, about the corporate environment.

In conclusion, unawareness about work culture and inadequate knowledge of corporate behaviour are the problems due to which they are lacking interpersonal skills, and to solve these problems organisations should conduct an orientation program which could help new employees to cope with the new corporate culture and enhance their confidence level.

[Shahbaz]

* “interpersonal skills like work as team members” (skills like working as team members / skills like team work)

* “The new employees have not been any experience of corporate etiquette” (have not had any experience…) [‘have not been any experience’ would be incorrect. Usually, we say ‘to have an experience’ or ‘to have experience in [a particular field] ]

* Although ‘unawareness’ is listed as word in some dictionaries, I am not sure if it’s the right word in this context. I would just use ‘ignorance of’ here.

4.5/ 6