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Task 2 (Education)
Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions.
Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
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10 Replies
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In considering education as a tool to help our society, there are many pieces of work related to this and also help us to learn the basic moral values to improve society. Certain posts intend to improve society and help impoverished villages to ameliorate. For instance, there are central government posts related to KVK (Krishi Vigyan Kendra), where the officials themselves arrange for awareness programs for poor farmers relating to cattle or crops. Moral values like trust, charity, hospitality, etc., help in improvising one’s character which in turn helps to form a good society.
In general, the primary goal of education is to pursue higher studies, so that they could achieve materialistic goals. It also helps them to develop a social network among themselves and will have well-developed confidence. Running after higher studies may help individuals upgrade from their current position and to increase their remuneration. For example, people with master’s degrees tend to achieve higher posts and higher pay scales than people with diplomas or bachelorettes. Gaining confidence and social network through education helps them to be excellent and skillful in whatever activities they perform.
Overall, education provides a person to achieve their goals as well as to help society. In my thought, considering education as a way to achieve goals is the foremost value but through that, we also have to assist our society in our ways.
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Feedback:
Intro:
– Introduction will include Paraphrasing along with your opinion.
– your line ” this essay explains both sides of education” is not relevant.
-Words written in bold are ambiguous, lacking in clarity.
BP2 & conclusion:
In general, the primary goal of education is to pursue higher studies, so that they could(one can) achieve materialistic goals. It also develop a social network among themselves and will have well-developed confidence. Higher education may help individuals advance from their current position and increase their remuneration. For example, people with master’s degrees tend to achieve higher posts and higher pay scales than people with diplomas or bachelor’s degrees. Gaining confidence and social network through education helps them to be excellent and skillful in whatever activities they perform.
Overall, education allows a person to achieve their goals as well as help society. In my thought(opinion), considering education as a way to achieve goals is the foremost value, but through that, we also have to assist our society in our ways.
–-Words written in bold are ambiguous, lacking in clarity.
Rewrite your conclusion.
Band Score – 3.5/6
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Few bunches of people believe that education plays a primary goal to become a good person in the society, some believe education encourages an individual to achieve their ambitions. Education plays a vital role in an individual’s well-being in society and for the betterment to achieve his ambitions. So here in this essay, I will be discussing both sides of the coin.
Firstly, we will discuss how an individual play a vital role in society. A society is a place where there is a group of people living together, helping each other with a pure heart., as this symbolizes humanity. So, when an individual pursues education. This automatically reflects on his way of behavior. Although he is educated and becomes a rising example for his younger generation to become a useful people in society.
An individual should set a goal and aim high to achieve the target to pursue his/her ambitions. I believe if you are dedicated to something then definitely you will aim to achieve it. Nowadays we can see many individuals are target-oriented, and they achieve it through their hard work. So, tend to pursue higher education to have the best title for themselves. For example, An individual who pursues a career in Symbiosis University also tends to qualify their a master’s from foreign countries as well. Although education is important for each and every individual in society as well as to pursue their ambitions. Education is moreover important for each and every individual to get better future prospects.
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Some people believe that education plays a primary goal in becoming a good person in society, while others believe education encourages an individual to achieve their ambitions. Education plays a vital role in an individual’s well-being in society and their holistic development. This essay will discuss and contrast both sides.
Firstly,(No need to say Firstly we will discuss) how an individual plays a vital role in society. A society is a place where there is a group of people living together, helping each other with a pure heart. This symbolises humanity. So, when an individual pursues education, this automatically reflects on his way of behavior. Although he is educated and becomes a rising example for his younger generation to become a useful people in society.(This sentence is incomplete as you have used although…use yet with it)
An individual should set a goal and aim high to achieve the target in order to pursue his/her ambitions. I believe if you are dedicated to something then you will definitely aim to achieve it. Nowadays, we can see many individuals are target-oriented and they achieve their goals through their hard work. So, they tend to pursue higher education to have the best title for themselves. For example, an individual who pursues a career at Symbiosis University also tends to qualify for a master’s from foreign countries as well. Although education is important for each and every individual in society as well as to pursue their ambitions. Education is also important for each and every individual to have better future prospects.
Feedback:
Corrections are in bold and italics.
The conclusion is missing.
One part of the question is not complete.Clarity is missing.
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Few individuals feel that the goal of education is to make students to become helpful for the public. Others think that education must be beneficial for themselves to achieve their career goals. Education plays a key role in developing society. This essay discusses about how education impacts humanity, how it helps individuals and conclusion with my opinion.
Education gives broad knowledge, which can be applied in real life and also they contribute directly and indirectly to the community. Practical skills learned from schools and colleges can be applied to actual problems. For example, maintaining the proper level of water in tank at home is difficult, professionals can solve this issue by attaching water level detection sensor inside the tank which helps in reducing a lot of water wastage. They are even contributing 30% of tax to the government, which is being used to develop the society.
Education also helps in achieving their goal and they can look after their family. There are plenty of domains and fields available so, one can easily pick a path they are interested in and can start building their own career. It helps an individual to feed their family. For instance, the primary goal for a person from poor family is to get a job and help their dependents financially which can be possible through good education.
In conclusion, education can be used on both sides. In my opinion, it is better to apply learning knowledge to real life problems and contributes to the development of the country.
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Few individuals feel that the goal of education is to make students into helpful members of the public. Others think that education must be beneficial for themselves to achieve their career goals. Education plays a key role in developing society. This essay discusses how education impacts humanity, how it helps individuals, and concludes with my opinion.
Education gives broad knowledge, which can be applied in real life and also contributes directly and indirectly to the community. Practical skills learned from schools and colleges can be applied to actual problems. For example, maintaining the proper level of water in a tank at home is difficult. Professionals can solve this issue by attaching a water level detection sensor inside the tank, which helps in reducing a lot of water wastage. They are even contributing 30% of tax to the government, which is being used to develop society.
Education also helps in achieving their goal, and they can look after their family. There are plenty of domains and fields available, so one can easily pick a path they are interested in and can start building their own career. It helps an individual to feed their family. For instance, the primary goal for a person from a poor family is to get a job and help their dependents financially, which can be possible through good education.
In conclusion, education can be used on both sides. In my opinion, it is better to apply learning knowledge to real life problems and contribute to the development of the country.
Feedback:
Corrections are in bold and italics.
Clarity is missing.
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Few individuals trust the main aim of education is making the individual to become useful member of the society, while some believe it should help the people to achieve their goals. According to me, the main purpose of education is to develop one’s goals as well as to serve the society in their best possible way.
By getting proper education, we can help our society in many ways. For example, we can try to keep our environment neat and clean by creating awareness among people and also by conducting campaigns. The impact of global warming is affecting everywhere in the recent past. To decrease the effect of global warming World Environment Day is celebrated on June 5th every year. On this day learners in educational institutions are encouraged to plant more trees. Lessons related to global warming are included from grade one and steps to control the negative effects are taught to young learners who becomes active members of the society in future.
Secondly, during this Covid-19 pandemic to keep the disease under control and to protect the people Indian government has taken so many measures like mass vaccination drives, training the medical students to take care of the infected persons which helped them to maintain the scarcity of health workers. Because of these important steps our country was able to manage the worst effects of Covid-19. In this way individuals have learned as well as they were able to serve the society.
In a nutshell, educating the individual to achieve their goals will side by side make them useful part of the society.
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Few individuals trust (believe that) the main aim of education is to make the individual into a useful member of society, while some believe it should help people to achieve their goals. According to me, the main purpose of education is to develop one’s goals as well as to serve society in the best possible way.
By getting proper education, we can help our society in many ways. For example, we can try to keep our environment neat and clean by creating awareness among people and also by conducting campaigns. The impact of global warming is affecting(can be seen) everywhere in the recent past. To decrease the effect of global warming, World Environment Day is celebrated on June 5th every year. On this day, learners in educational institutions are encouraged to plant more trees. Lessons related to global warming are included from grade one and steps to control the negative effects are taught to young learners who becomes active members of the society in future.
Secondly, during this COVID-19 pandemic, to keep the disease under control and to protect the people, the Indian government has taken so many measures like mass vaccination drives, training medical students to take care of the infected people, which helped them to maintain the scarcity of health workers. Because of these important steps, our country was able to manage the worst effects of Covid-19. In this way individuals have learned as well as they were able to serve the society.
In a nutshell, educating the individual to achieve their goals will, side by side, make them a useful part of society.
Feedback:
The corrections are in bold and italics.
BP 2 This paragraph is not totally aligned to what this essay is asking.
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There are two opinion regarding goal of educations, some view that it should be used for the growth of society while others believe that education is primarily for fulfilling their dreams. From my viewpoint, it should used for uplifting our country and by working for people. This essay will discuss that both view points rationally and provide logically conclusion.
There are people who strongly believe that academic teachings should be used for the betterment of people around us. Learning about moral values and ways of improving life of people, these ideas are the primary stepping stone of education. Firstly, lessons of spirituality, empathy, honesty taught during schools or colleges, make an adult valuable for future as it makes society a emotionally a better place. Secondly, it teaches humankind how they can make earth a better place to live by being mindful about consumption of plastics, maintaining proper hygiene, optimum use of resources etc. In order words, mentally strong and self-aware people make a better lives for others as they know importance of living in healthy environment, thus, all this is achievable by education.
Others believe that qualification and degree are meant for acquiring our goals. It’s makes individual independent and lead a prosperous life is the only desire of humans . Education is emphasized upon children because it allows them make their own money without being dependent on government or parents. If they have a strong financial base then only they can think about other areas there life such as relationships, shelter, materialistic needs etc. For instance, Abraham theory of needs says if primary goals like food, money, clothes are fulfilled then only they will think about relationships, owning a house etc. That’s why education is path which leads to fulfills our desires.
In nutshell, there are two set population one has a opinion that education is meant to live for others and others feel that its used to achieve our own ambitions. If we are born in society then it’s our duty to contribute to people, this is cost which everyone should pay and education is tool which allow it to happen.
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Person should utilize the education for the betterment of the community at the same time it can help him or her to get to their personal goals. I suggest, even though people attain their dream, they should not forget their responsibility towards the society.
Education is a life essential skill and one learns so many good deeds during the school or university. One of the important aspects that we learn is how to benefit others. Teachers are the key influencer to motivate during education by telling them about different profession such as police, doctor, or an engineer and its responsibilities. How these occupation are helping civilization since many years provided everyone is dealing with empathy and treating every person equally.
On the other hand, being zealous is not at all bad provided it doesn’t create imbalance in the public. Imagine everyone is trying to be a doctor and there is shortage of other professions because people are trying to get into a high paying profession or a respectable career and creating disproportion. In addition to that, running towards a goal for too long can impact the mental well-being as well, if dreams not achieved. It’s a proven fact that some people gets into a depression, if there are repeated failures.
In the end, I would recommend that although chasing one’s dream is perfectly fine, we should remember our commitment towards the humanity to make it a better place by helping the needy. Nonetheless, aim of learning from the past is meant for welfare of people, should not end up harming anyone while running towards passion.
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