[Mamta]

Museums are a good option to know about the culture and tradition of any country or place. However, the number of visitors are decreasing drastically. This essay will discuss the reasons why this is happening, and then provide some solutions related to it.

There are two main reasons for this decrease in the number of people who visit museums. Firstly, people find it boring to go to such places because of the advancement of technology. If we compare with the past, in today’s era, people have more choices to indulge themselves in their free time. While in the past, they found museums a leisure activity. Secondly, people, especially youngsters are not keen to explore such places as they don’t know about their culture and are reluctant to know anything about it. For example, children don’t even know about Ramayan and Mahabharat, which are the greatest epics.

To resolve these problems, the government should include some new and latest technologies which would attract tourists. For example, some sound effects and some artificial intelligence technologies are introduced to connect with visitors. Furthermore, kids should be taught history in a very interesting way in schools and the government should make it compulsory for schools to take the children at historical sites. So they can connect academic lectures with those places. These activities encourage kids to take more Interest in the subject.

To conclude, people feel monotonous to go to the museums and unwilling to learn anything about historical events. Some technological modification in those places and introducing some effective way of teaching in schools could be beneficial to attract more people there.

[Shahbaz]

*’Secondly, people, especially youngsters, are not’
* ‘take the children to historical sites’
* ‘people feel monotonous to go to the museums and are unwilling to learn’
* Modal verbs could have improved some sentences
‘These activities encourage kids to’ (would encourage kids to)
‘artificial intelligence technologies are introduced to’ (can be introduced to…)

Score : 4.5 /6

Some IELTS experts advise candidates not to use the ‘firstly…secondly…’ structure to list points.

[Yanshi]

In the recent times, visiting museums has become less favorable among the people than in the past. This is a serious development as lesser and lesser people now are drawn towards taking a trip to a museum. This essay shall throw some light on some of the probable causes and solutions to this problem.

With the ever-evolving technology and techniques, people in this era, have a much wider variety of alternatives according to their preferences. Visiting old museums with uninteresting stuff is rather a dreary task for many youngsters. Their uninterest in history and antique items drives them away from considering to visit a museum in their leisure time. Some museums prohibit clicking pictures of the items, which further discourage these young individuals who are obsessed with taking pictures of anywhere they visit. Moreover, many established and popular museums charge extravagant fees for entry tickets, resulting in a problematic situation for even those who are willing to visit but cannot afford.

In order to curb this situation, the museum authorities need to take some serious measures and make the overall visit much more enjoyable and desirable for them. For instance, addition of some fun activities, keeping the young folks in mind, might fascinate them. To encourage the younger generation to visit museums, they need to be made more inclined towards their history and glorious past, from a very young age. Schools could arrange museum trips for children in order to make them aware of its importance. Moreover, the prices for the tickets need to be adjusted accordingly to be reasonable and affordable enough for everyone.

In conclusion, museums are a great place for anyone to acquire knowledge about the history of their nation and the world, an activity that is slowly fading away and in order to rejuvenate it, young minds need to be made aware of its essence.

[Shahbaz]

* Please look up ‘less’ vs ‘few’ and ‘lesser’ vs ‘fewer’. ‘Lesser people’ and ‘fewer people’ are not the same.

* Your sentences generally are structurally sound. If you notice that there is time for proofreading, I recommend reviewing your word choices. You must also reread your own essays and look up and confirm the correctness of any words or expressions that do not sound correct.

By word choice problems, I mean things like ‘In order to curb this situation’ – I do not think that we can ever say ‘curb a situation’ in the same way that we say ‘solve this situation’ or ‘fix this situation’

Score : 5.5/6