[Sheeba]

In some countries, even though more adults have completed their education and found jobs, they are living with their parents. This essay will argue the advantages and the disadvantages.

To begin with, in developing countries, more adults prefer to stay with their parents. For instance, people living in India, Srilanka, Bangladesh, Nepal and Pakistan are living with their parents and grandparents. Adults staying with elder people will be gaining more experience in their life which helps them to tackle the problem in their life. It is a great support for parents too. At their old age, adults will be helpful and taking care of their parents.

In addition to it, in developed countries, such as America and European countries many adults will not prefer to stay with their parents. Once they are done with their secondary education they will leave their home for either tertiary education or jobs. They will be missing the moral values from elders. Due to the lack of advice from their elders many adults are committing suicides. Now a days adults are not showing interest to take care of their parents when they are old. In many countries, old age homes are getting increased.

In conclusion, adult may work where ever they have opportunity but it is mandatory to take care of their parents. They cannot learn life’s lesson from any universities but they can learn from elders. The more they are connected with their family, the wiser they will be. It is every one’s responsibility to take care of their parents.

[Shahbaz]

* “even though more adults have” – The use of ‘more’ in this sentence changes the meaning a bit. I shall elaborate in the class.

*Please review the use of ” argue the advantages”

* “will be gaining more experience” – I think ‘would gain more experience’ is better.
* Please review ‘In addition to it’ , I am only familiar with ‘In addition to that’ and ‘In addition’

* ‘Now a days’ is written as a single word -> ‘nowadays’

* ‘old age homes are getting increased.’ / ‘are increasing in number’ would be better.

4/6

[Swati14]

In many countries, maximum adults are preferring to live with their parents, despite they have completed tertiary education and got employment. There are both advantages and disadvantages to this phenomenon; however, this essay will argue that the advantages completely outweigh the disadvantages.

To begin with, people who choose to live with their parents even after getting a job over those who live their parents and settled somewhere else. For one thing, these people can look after their parents’ profoundly because many parents required extra attention to their health due to the increase of age, and people who live with parents can be balanced these responsibilities with their job simultaneously. In addition, these people can get proper guidance from their parents about any problem or challenge, which face by them in their profession or personal life. Their parents can advise them in the right direction because they have a lot of years of life experience.

The disadvantages are few and comparatively minor. Those who disagree to live with parents even after getting a job argue that adults could not be moved easily if it will be demanded on their professional work front. They believe that it is unlikely to shift with parents to a different location because older people would not be ready to leave their dwellings easily and could not cope with new situations and surroundings.

In conclusion, the advantages of adults who live with their parents outweigh the disadvantages because it can allow them to good take care of their parents, and they can also get the best advice and solutions to problems which may be faced by them in their life.

[Shahbaz]

* Please review ‘maximum adults’

* In the first sentence ,it should be ‘despite having completed’ . Check out some sentence examples with ‘despite’

* The first sentence in the second paragraph is not clear. The comparison seems incomplete. Please review the sentence.

* ” can be balanced these responsibilities” — ‘can balance these responsivities’

* ‘which face by them’ –> ‘problems which they face’ or perhaps ‘problems which are faced by them’

4/6

[Mamta]

In some countries, many adults wish to live with their parents after completing their Higher education and getting job. This essay will explore the advantages and disadvantages and provide a logical conclusion.

The two main advantages to live with parents are getting Good advice and managing their personal and professional life simultaneously. Firstly, those adults who live with their parents have good guidance based on parents’ experiences that helps them to tackle any problem. It develops a self confidence in them. Secondly, parents are always ready to help their children in any way possible. Living with parents provides them opportunity to manage their personal and office life. Parents are there to help the children in household chores so that they can even more focus on their career. Family support is the best way to get success.

However, there are some minor drawbacks to living with parents. Adults don’t get enough time to spend according to their wish, this hampers their privacy. To get success, independence is a most important factor but this is not possible when they are living with parents as children are always guided and adviced by them.

To conclude, although living with parents have minor disadvantages like adults are not able to think according to their own . But staying with parents provides them some good advice and ability to use their time effectively. I believe that these benifits of family outweigh its drawbacks.

[Shahbaz]

* Some instances of unnecessary capitalization e.g. ‘Good advice’.

*’The two main advantages to live with parents’ – ‘advantages of living with..’ is better.

* “provides them opportunity to” (provides them the opportunity to)

*”help the children in household chores ” (‘help the children with’ would sound better here)
* “although living with parents have minor disadvantages” (‘living with parents has…’ since the subject is essentially ‘living’ and not ‘parents’. Look up ‘error of proximity)

4/6.

[Yanshi]

These days, a lot of young adults prefer and continue to reside with their parents, even after having finished with their education and found suitable jobs, in some countries. In my opinion, just like any other phenomenon, this comes with it’s own set of benefits and drawbacks, with drawbacks being comparatively insignificant and minute, and advantages completely outweighing the disadvantages.

To begin with, in a lot of South Asian countries, it has been a prevalent tradition to continue to stay with your parents even after settling in your career and lives. This tradition roots from the profound feelings of respect, affection and gratitude that people tend to have towards their parents. Parents, having been experienced and matured through life, have profound and wise insights about life, that young adults are yet to incorporate in themselves. Therefore, having your parents by your side, it becomes significantly smoother to sail through life. You can turn to your parents during the difficult times and hardships of life, and can be ensured to be provided with unconditional love, soothing solace, valuable support and auspicious blessings of your parents. Parents are significantly responsible to incorporate essential moral values and life skills, that they have acquired during their course of life, in young adults who are often vulnerable to fall into wrong activities . It also feels extremely satisfactory to serve your parents in their old age, an essential responsibility that young adults are required to fulfil, as it feels morally unethical to leave your old parents to suffer alone.

Having said that, the disadvantages are comparatively small, but important to emphasize. Always being under the shadow of one’s parents, can prove to be quite detrimental for the personal growth and maturity of some people as they might not able to take up the usual responsibilities and duties, that they would have, had they been living on their own. Living with your parents can sometimes also hamper your privacy and personal space, which is of great importance for many adults. It might not always be possible to look after your parents, due to financial constraints or other personal limitations.

In conclusion, living with your parents comes up with a set of advantages and disadvantages, but the unconditional love and affection that the parents possess towards their children, makes the disadvantages seem less significant The advantages of having your parents by your side completely outweigh the disadvantages, as it is both ethically and personally the right move to look after your parents in their times of need.

[Shahbaz]

* ” it’s own set of benefits” (its own set of…) [look up ‘it’s’ vs ‘its’]

* Please review use of ‘root’ as a verb in ‘This tradition roots’ , ‘this tradition has its roots in…’ might be better.

*”can be ensured to be provided”. Some grammarians disapprove of ‘double passive’.

*’Parents are significantly responsible to incorporate essential’ – ‘significantly’ here doesn’t seem to fit.

Overall, your sentences show an advanced grasp of grammar. Our goal is to demonstrate variety in sentence structure without ending up with contrived, complicated structures.

Synonyms are not the only way to avoid repetition. Omissions and proper referencing can also help us avoid repetition. I shall elaborate this in class.

Score 5/6.