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  • Writing Task 2 – Advantages/Disadvantages – Migration to Cities

     Shahbaz updated 3 weeks, 6 days ago 6 Members · 11 Posts
  • Shahbaz

    Administrator
    October 27, 2021 at 11:13 AM
    50 Network Points
    Activity Points 7810

    In many countries, more and more people are moving from the villages to the cities to find work.

    What are the advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

  • Mohit Arora

    Member
    October 28, 2021 at 12:18 PM
    100 Network Points
    Activity Points 1170
    • Shahbaz

      Administrator
      October 30, 2021 at 3:00 PM
      50 Network Points
      Activity Points 7810

      *The use of “can be of a greater good” is a bit confusing. “The greater good” is a common expression. However, it doesn’t make sense here.

      If by “can be of a greater good” you meant to say that the hospitals and schools in cities provide better quality services than the ones in the villages, then it would not be correct.

      * “In Addition” (There was no reason to capitalize ‘addition’)

      * “they get more opportunities to explore different cultures which also makes them more sociable”

      A comma after ‘cultures’ would make this sentence better. Look up ‘when to use commas before which’

      * “on the contrary”

      * “may lead to some people remain unemployed” (may lead to some people remaining unemployed)

      * You raised many relevant points in a clear way. However, we need to not only present ideas. We must ‘extend’ and ‘explain’ them. We must support them with other ideas. Check out the sample essays I shared. There, you will see that the writer introduces a point and then in the next sentence or two develops it further.

      Score: 4.5/6

  • Yanshi

    Member
    October 28, 2021 at 8:13 PM
    140 Network Points
    Activity Points 1490

    In many nations, it has become a common phenomenon for more and more people to migrate into cities from rural areas to find employment. This situation has brought some considerable changes in the dynamics of the country and its people. It comes with a set of benefits and drawbacks and this essay will ponder over some of them.

    In some nations, more and more people are being able to lift themselves out of poverty than ever before. A considerable amount of credit for this goes to them moving out of their villages, to live and work in cities that provide better working conditions and opportunities. Metropolitan cities are known to be more developed economically and thus can ensure a better lifestyle and career options, provided that a person thrives for it. Furthermore, urban areas have a better infrastructure, medical and education facilities than rural areas. Therefore, these people have the privilege to access them according to their needs.

    Having mentioned that, unmonitored migration can lead to overpopulation in these cities, leading to adverse effects for both natives and immigrants. Unemployment is one of the serious issues that develops when the applicants are much more than the seats available. It sometimes becomes a laborious task for these villagers to find a suitable work in cities, and in adverse conditions they might be left unemployed, making it harder for them to make both ends meet. Medical system has been seen to fail several times due to overcrowding that rips people off of their right to adequate medical facility. Moreover, moving out of village can be a daunting task for some and make them feel homesick, lonely and depressed.

    In conclusion, moving to an urban city from village is a demanding task but surely worth it as it provides a person ample opportunities to make one’s life better. But the same time, it comes with a lot of hardships and shackles that require a lot of mental strength to break.

    • Shahbaz

      Administrator
      October 30, 2021 at 4:12 PM
      50 Network Points
      Activity Points 7810

      * “provided that a person thrives for it” (strives for it)
      * ” have a better infrastructure” (infrastructure) is uncountable, ” have better infrastructure” is enough.

      *”an urban city from a village”
      *” But at the same time”

      Score: 5.5/6

  • Surekha

    Member
    October 31, 2021 at 12:52 AM
    100 Network Points
    Activity Points 380

    In numerous nations, an increasing number of people are shifting from their rural environs to urban centres for the purpose of gaining employment. The chief benefit is the opportunity it presents for persons to alleviate their family from penury through the greater opportunity for work available in cities. The disadvantages are the stagnation of rural economies and the frequent deterioration in living conditions of workers migrating to cities. The essay will analyse the merits and demerits of the situation, followed by a logical conclusion.

    Supporters argue that the increase in the phenomenon of migrant labour to cities enables workers to fashion an improvement in their socio-economic condition. The lack of wide-ranging job opportunities in villages limits their pursuit of creative economic ventures. The abundance of skilled as well as unskilled labour in the cities due to the in-migration not only facilitates the development of ambitious public works in the metropolitan centres, but also allows persons from various geographies to interact and develop enterprising business ideas. A case in point is the development of numerous patents by persons who have shifted to urban centres and found themselves unencumbered by financial worries and the scientific temperament.

    The principal disadvantage of this rural out-migration is the increasingly sluggish growth of the agrarian economy. With limited labour available in villages, even during the tilling and harvesting season, farm owners find it increasingly difficult to cultivate land to its fullest potential. The other major drawback is the decline in the health and well-being of workers as they are forced to live in deprived shanties, which have become a common feature of towns across the world. The first point of entry for most workers are overcrowded tenements in cities, as with their limited economic resources, they are unable to afford better conditions. Jehangirpuri slum in Delhi and Dharavi in Mumbai are known to house millions of migrant labour.

    In conclusion, it must be said that the disadvantages, in terms of decline in rural productivity and the deterioration in the health and well-being of workers, outweigh the advantages of this phenomenon.

    • Shahbaz

      Administrator
      November 1, 2021 at 10:57 AM
      50 Network Points
      Activity Points 7810

      * The essay is slightly longer than it needed to be. It’s not a problem in itself. A long essay is not a problem as long as you have the time to proofread everything and your ideas don’t lose their focus.

      * ‘environs’ (This word is listed in the dictionaries I checked, but I don’t think it fits here. Please check)

      * Please review ‘increase in the phenomenon of migrant labour’ . It sounds incorrect to me.

      * ” millions of migrant labour.” ‘abour’ can be used collectively to refer to workers. However, when you specify them with a number, shouldn’t it be ‘labourers’?

      Score: 5/6

  • Sheeba

    Member
    November 2, 2021 at 7:23 PM
    0 Network Points
    Activity Points 3160

    In many countries, more people migrate from the villages to the cities to find job. This essay will examine the advantages and the disadvantages of migration and provide a logical conclusion.

    To begin with, the main two advantages are people get exposure to the city lifestyle and the job opportunities are more when compared to the villages. In cities, people from various states live together so there is an exposure to different cultures. For instance, cities like Delhi, Mumbai, Kolkata, Bangalore and Chennai has people from all parts of India. In addition to that, there is a huge opportunity for job hunt. Multi National Companies such as Google, Microsoft, Apple, BMW and Paypal prefers to have their work location in the cities.

    On the other hand, the disadvantages of this trend is that the natural resources has destroyed because of shelter and controlling traffic during peak hours is quiet challenging. In cities, many lakes have turned into an apartments because there is more demand for houses. Most of the people in cities use their vehicle, so often there is a traffic jam during peak hours. In Bangalore, there are many IT parks situated in Electronic city, the automobiles will struck in traffic more than an hour. However, by preserving the natural resources and constructing flyovers in busy roads helps to outweigh the disadvantages.

    To conclude, migrations leads to increase in traffic and destroys the natural resources, it has an extremely positive impact on job opportunities. I believe these benefits outweigh its drawbacks.

    • Shahbaz

      Administrator
      November 3, 2021 at 12:38 PM
      50 Network Points
      Activity Points 7810

      * “more people migrate from the villages to the cities to find job” ( ‘more and more’ and just ‘more’ are used differently.)

      * “Delhi, Mumbai, Kolkata, Bangalore and Chennai” (There is nothing wrong here. But, with examples like this, I would keep it limited to just two examples)

      * “Apple, BMW and Paypal prefers to have…” (prefer to have)

      *”the natural resources has destroyed” (this is a basic error and will be noticed. It should be “natural resources have been destroyed. I recommend doing some ‘passive voice exercises’ to avoid this kind of error)

      * “the automobiles will struck in traffic more than an hour.” (automobiles get stuck/ often get stuck)

      * “However, by preserving the natural resources and constructing flyovers in busy roads helps to outweigh the disadvantages.” (The use of ‘outweigh’ here is incorrect. We use ‘outweigh’ only in comparisons, usually to make a choice . ‘The advantages outweigh the disadvantages’ )

      Score : 4.5/6 Improvements in task achievement.

  • Barkha

    Member
    November 8, 2021 at 8:57 AM
    100 Network Points
    Activity Points 560

    Many people are migrating to cities from villages looking for jobs around the world. As the number of people moving to metropolitan regions increases, this situation creates an imbalance in the workforce. If we look at long term benefits, it is favourable to make a move for a financially stable future. This essay will discuss pros and cons of the situation.

    People migrate to bigger cities in search for better work opportunities. Firstly, cities are far more developed than villages in terms of providing livelihood. A city inhabits major multinational organisations that can employ larger number of people. Secondly, a stable job in a major firm leads to financial stability and security that everyone demands these days. For instance, a sales manager is offered a position with a fixed salary along with other benefits such as a car, a mobile phone and an apartment.

    If we look at the negative side of this situation, those who migrate from villages settle with blue collar jobs and barely make money for basic needs. As the number of people making a move into the cities increases, the rate of unemployment also goes up. People resort to other less stable jobs in the hope of getting something better someday. Qualified people are often found working commission jobs or door to door selling which is not an ideal situation in the modern world.

    To conclude, people leave their hometown to find a stable job that leads to a better lifestyle. As many youngsters do not get employed in white collar jobs due to scarcity in the market, they need to settle for less to make a living. The advantages of migration to cities outweigh the disadvantages in the long run.

    • Shahbaz

      Administrator
      November 8, 2021 at 12:52 PM
      50 Network Points
      Activity Points 7810

      *’will discuss the pros and cons…’
      * ‘in search of better work opportunities’
      * ‘A city inhabits major multinational organisations’ (I am not sure if we can use ‘inhabit’ in this way.
      * I would have made the example in the first body paragraph clearer by mentioning how a sales manager can make more in a city.
      * ‘ door to door’ is usually written as ‘door-to-door’ when it is used as an adjective e.g ‘door-to-door sales’

      5/6

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