NIL Community

Find answers, ask questions, and connect with our
community around the world.

  • WRITING TASK 2- CRIME SOLUTION ESSAY

     Abhinav updated 4 months, 2 weeks ago 6 Members · 11 Posts
  • Anureet

    Member
    July 18, 2021 at 3:59 PM
    140 Network Points
    Activity Points 15810

    Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

    Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

    Write at least 250 words.

  • Jasmeet

    Member
    July 18, 2021 at 5:46 PM
    430 Network Points
    Activity Points 1620

    After completing their first punishment, most of the culprits tends to repeat more offences. This can mainly be due to the lack of serious penalty. In this essay the causes behind this serious issue and several measures that can help the authorities solve this problem will be discussed.

    To begin with the first reason that the offenders are committing more crimes is the lack of severe punishment, as a result of which, it is taken more casually by the criminals. In addition to this, when different people are locked up in one prison, they do not have anything to do apart from chit-chat, however, end up sharing their information and some of them even provoke them to take their revenges. Furthermore, after being released when they are faced by the society, the ignorance and unemployment again encourage them to do the same.

    There is a great need to solve this problem so that criminals stay away from more crimes. More rehabilitation centers should be offered by the government wherein the criminals are taught and made to learn new skills which will help them find a job. Regular check and supervision on offenders after coming out of prisons will alert and prevent them taking any further action towards crime. More and more work should be assigned to the prisoners in jail which will keep them busy and get less time to talk to other criminals.

    In conclusion, if proper training in prisons is provided and continuous check is kept while coming out for the first time, the numbers of crimes will eventually be decreased.

    • Anureet

      Member
      July 19, 2021 at 8:31 AM
      140 Network Points
      Activity Points 15810

      Introduction-authorities solve- authorities to solve. Follow method 1 of introduction- Paraphrase+ thesis statement otherwise the chance of committing mistakes increases

      BP 1- as a result- rephrase this line as-as a result, prisoners take their punishment casually

      however end up line has mistakes.

      • Anureet

        Member
        July 19, 2021 at 9:33 AM
        140 Network Points
        Activity Points 15810

        BP 1- Rephrase this line with however

        BP 2- stay away- incorrect collocation- write: refrain from committing more crimes

        prevent them taking- prevent them from taking

        towards crime- not required

        use synonyms of committing crimes where possible

        Conclusion- while coming out- substitute once they have served their punishment

        eventually, be decreased- eventually decrease

        Note: You have done a good job but this essay requires a little bit of fine tuning

        Band Score- 4/6

        • Jasmeet

          Member
          July 19, 2021 at 5:36 PM
          430 Network Points
          Activity Points 1620

          Thank you mam. I will surely work on it.

  • sonam

    Member
    July 18, 2021 at 11:43 PM
    0 Network Points
    Activity Points 50

    It is often seen that offenders tend to get involved in more crimes after they serve their first punishment. This can be attributed to either merciful treatment or excessively harsh treatment in the prison. This essay will discuss various reasons along with certain changes which can be helpful to solve this problem.

    The majority of the people get indulged in criminal activities due to their life situations. Some feel they were treated unfairly or others are compelled by the financial situations. When asked, these people are found to reply with the most desperate needs to commit the crime. Also, it seems our judiciary system does not punish them as required. The punishments are either too lenient that it does not cast any effect on the people or they are too harsh which makes them numb and ignorant towards the system.

    The reason for making criminal laws is to instil fear in the mind of the people and thereby, prevent them from committing any dangerous or unethical activity. For example, the death penalty for rape will definitely induce a deep threat in the minds of individuals. Further to this, it is suggested that the norms should also acknowledge criminal psychology. A sound understanding of the same can help to decide the quantum of punishment required for a particular case. If the accused has some inevitable reason, counselling along with material help can be provided which might give him/her a reason to believe in higher good and own betterment.

    In conclusion, the psyche behind the evil act needs to be understood and facilitated to provide a new perspective about life and which would eventually make the world a better and safer place to live.

  • Faizal

    Member
    July 19, 2021 at 3:46 PM
    100 Network Points
    Activity Points 500
  • Anureet

    Member
    July 19, 2021 at 4:13 PM
    140 Network Points
    Activity Points 15810

    Introduction- lack in giving punishment- lack of

    Thesis statement does not have main points

    Bp1- one of the main reason- main reasons

    Dont quote source in your example amd don’t use continuous tense unnecessarily

    Bp 2- criminals should provide- should be

    Police are- Police is- Police is always singular

    Note: Need to work on your thoughts and clarity. You will improve gradually.

    Band Score- 2.5/6

  • Eman

    Member
    July 19, 2021 at 8:08 PM
    10 Network Points
    Activity Points 1000

    Recently it was shown that lots of criminals commit more crimes after they serve their time in prison. There are several reasons that led them to do such act and some measures to be taken to mitigate this problem that will be explained in the following paragraphs.

    To begin with, it is difficult for the offenders to surmount the languished time they were locked away in jails, so they seek revenge. For example, a murderer might stock the officer who caught him and hurt him or his family members. Moreover, criminals are persecuted by society for what they have done which results in being rejected even if they atone for their past sins. To elaborate, drunk drivers who kill other people while driving their cars obliviously, struggle to get accepted by their community after they are absolved and try to corroborate for their repentance.

    To overcome this problem, many actions can be taken by both, society and the offenders. First, it is important to engage the people who get released from prisons in support groups to interact with people who had similar experiences. For instance, design groups for killers in which they can express their feelings and get guidance during their recovery time. Another point is that to conduct public awareness campaigns that teach public people how to accept criminals and treat them well after languishing in prisons. To explain, providing general lectures and conferences about how to treat such people and not to reproach them for what they committed in the past.

    In conclusion, committing crimes by offenders after their first crime is a huge problem that can be solved by addressing the reasons, seeking help and providing the support needed.

  • Abhinav

    Administrator
    July 19, 2021 at 8:28 PM
    740 Network Points
    Activity Points 6070

    Stock= Stalk

    Teach public people? =Teach People

    5.0/6.0

Viewing 1 - 7 of 7 replies

Original Post
0 of 0 posts June 2018
Now

Congratulations!
You’ve made it.

You have reached the best place for your IELTS and English preparation. Please tell us what you’re looking for so that we can help you better.