WRITING TASK 2- DISCUSSION ESSAYPosted by Anureet on July 22, 2021 at 12:58 PM
Completing a university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.Anureet replied 1 year, 8 months ago 9 Members · 16 Replies
JasmeetMemberJuly 22, 2021 at 2:58 PM
Many people believe that getting a qualification is necessary to get a better placement whereas others think that having work experience and key soft skills are more important in the job. I believe that university education is very essential to get into a good career.
To begin with, majority of people think that getting better opportunities for a better career entirely depends on the one’s degree. Employers are interviewing people on the basis of different qualifications they possess. The higher the degree, more will be chances of getting selected. For instance, doctor or teachers can be appointed as per the eligibility criteria. For more clarity, a doctor cannot be offered a job without MBBS degree in India.
On the other hand, some believe that having enough experience and soft skills are more important to get into better profession. Many organizations hire people based on their previous experience which reduces the training cost and time therefore, result into better performance as the work is being accomplished by trained professional. For instance, from a list of candidates who appeared for the interview of a marketing job, employer will go for a person who has got the soft skills and major experience.
In my opinion, one should complete the university education as communications skills and interpersonal skills are part of their curriculum and one gets to learn these as part of their studies. These skills play a vital role to get a good job.
In conclusion, better placement opportunity requires a relevant education background. Also the values and knowledge imparted by the institutions will always benefit our career.
AnureetMemberJuly 23, 2021 at 8:32 AM
a better- better
soft skills are- is
in the job- for the job
BP 1: better- redundantly used
majority- a majority
the one’s degree- one’s degree
doctor or teachers- doctors
For more clarity- unnecessary
BP 2: better- lucrative
result into- results
trained- a trained
For instance- already used in BP 1- substitute take for example
BP 3: communications- communication
Conclusion: will always- can professionally boost- rephrase our career
BAND SCORE: 4.5/6 Good work. Keep writing!
JasmeetMemberJuly 23, 2021 at 2:53 PM
Will surely take into account.
Thanks for the feedback.
AnureetMemberJuly 23, 2021 at 8:48 AM
Introduction- believed- believe
BP 1: help- can help in
Are required- is required
Equip- incorrect word choice
can take you to the position- can help one in becoming a leader
Conclusion- summarise main points more clearly
Band Score: 3/6 Keep writing!
rahulMemberJuly 23, 2021 at 9:12 AM
There is always a dilemma among teenagers to get a job or pursue higher studies after finishing school. While some people believe getting experience and developing soft skills is more beneficial after school, I would argue that completing a University education could pave brighter opportunities for securing a lucrative job.
It is always tempting to start working immediately after finishing school for several reasons. The option to earn money at a very young age is the biggest motivator among teens. Furthermore, it also makes them financially independent, which lets them enjoy life on their terms. Moreover, they gain experience in handling real-world problems and develop soft skills, which boost their confidence and gives a head start to a successful professional life.
On the other hand, I believe that having a higher education is beneficial in many aspects. Firstly, young people need to master a skill before entering the job world. For instance, it is quite impossible to become a doctor or an engineer without having appropriate training in that respective field. Secondly, the job market is becoming highly competitive, which prefers candidates with a degree in their respective domain. For example, there are thousands of applicants for only a few open positions in a job role, making it difficult for the employer to select the right candidate. So, having a degree gives an edge over other candidates while applying for any such job vacancies in the market.
To summarize, several factors could lead students to start working early, but in my opinion, they are more likely to succeed in their careers if they continue to study beyond the school level.
AnureetMemberJuly 23, 2021 at 9:27 AM
Introduction: paraphrased only half of the question
include main points in the thesis statement
BP 1: teens- teenagers
such job- job
Conclusion- use conclusion liners instead of to summarise
the conclusion is clearly written
BAND SCORE: 4.5/6 Good job. Keep writing!
shresthaMemberJuly 23, 2021 at 1:42 PM
AnureetMemberJuly 23, 2021 at 3:54 PM
Introduction- carrer- career
Proficiency- proficiency in skills
Good career prospects- a good career prospect
BP 1: easier- easy
Institutional degree- degree
The other- others
One of the key factor- factors
Correlative comparative is correct- Good
In squad: in a squad
Conclusion- summarise the main points
Band Score:3.5/6 Keep writing!
SarabjeetMemberJuly 26, 2021 at 1:13 PM
AnureetMemberJuly 26, 2021 at 3:52 PM
INTRODUCTION: other- others
good developing- developing
soft skills are- soft skills is
Thesis statement- state main points clearly
BP 1: individual have- has
to where- where
enter directly- start working directly
in jobs- in different sectors
for instance- For instance
advance their- advance in their
professional- professional qualification
filed of doctors and teachers- like in the field of medicine and teaching
untrained- unskilled person
life a – live a
make balance- make a balance
to him/her- for him/her
BAND SCORE: 3/6 Keep writing!
Sai koushikMemberJuly 27, 2021 at 7:06 PM
It is considered by some that people that university education is key to get a good job while others believe it is better to have experience and soft skills. In this essay, I will look at both sides of the argument and give my opinion.
Firstly, some people believe that it is easy to get a job if they are university graduates with a good degree. In recent times, competition to get into universities has increased significantly. Because it provides a great opportunity to develop new skills and gain knowledge. So people having university degree qualifications are more likely to find work easily and they can earn higher salaries. It also helps them to socialize and build a professional network among the people which benefits them to find references to get the desire job.
On the other hand, a vast majority of people believe that having experience and skills such as leadership skills, time-management skills, problem-solving skills and other interpersonal skills are mostly hired by employers. This will benefits the companies by reducing training costs and time therefore, it helps the companies to gain more profits. Moreover, an experienced person has a good understanding of the work environment and able to cope with the work.
Finally, In my opinion, getting a job depends on the position you applied for. For example, teaching, medicine and engineer fields you required university education. It is impossible to get into these fields without proper educational background. In contrast, some jobs like marketing, sales, etc., required work experience and soft skills to attract clients and customers.
In conclusion, I believe getting a job needs a relevant background either in experience or education depending upon the job type. However, people should make sure to attain the skill or degree before applying for a job.
RohiniMemberJuly 29, 2021 at 12:25 AM
AnureetMemberJuly 29, 2021 at 3:29 PM
INTRODUCTION: paraphrase the question statement along with a thesis statement incorporating the main points
BP1: provide- can provide
so that a industry- so that he can become industry ready
with required- with the required
we- Don’t write we or I in a formal essay
Conclusion: summarise your main points
ADD RELEVANT DETAILS.
BAND SCORE: 2.5/6 Keep writing!