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  • WRITING TASK 2- DISCUSSION ESSAY

     Anureet updated 4 months ago 9 Members · 17 Posts
  • Anureet

    Member
    July 22, 2021 at 12:58 PM
    140 Network Points
    Activity Points 15810

    Completing a university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

  • Jasmeet

    Member
    July 22, 2021 at 2:58 PM
    430 Network Points
    Activity Points 1620

    Many people believe that getting a qualification is necessary to get a better placement whereas others think that having work experience and key soft skills are more important in the job. I believe that university education is very essential to get into a good career.

    To begin with, majority of people think that getting better opportunities for a better career entirely depends on the one’s degree. Employers are interviewing people on the basis of different qualifications they possess. The higher the degree, more will be chances of getting selected. For instance, doctor or teachers can be appointed as per the eligibility criteria. For more clarity, a doctor cannot be offered a job without MBBS degree in India.

    On the other hand, some believe that having enough experience and soft skills are more important to get into better profession. Many organizations hire people based on their previous experience which reduces the training cost and time therefore, result into better performance as the work is being accomplished by trained professional. For instance, from a list of candidates who appeared for the interview of a marketing job, employer will go for a person who has got the soft skills and major experience.

    In my opinion, one should complete the university education as communications skills and interpersonal skills are part of their curriculum and one gets to learn these as part of their studies. These skills play a vital role to get a good job.

    In conclusion, better placement opportunity requires a relevant education background. Also the values and knowledge imparted by the institutions will always benefit our career.

    • Anureet

      Member
      July 23, 2021 at 8:32 AM
      140 Network Points
      Activity Points 15810

      Introduction: many-some

      qualification- degree

      a better- better

      soft skills are- is

      in the job- for the job

      BP 1: better- redundantly used

      majority- a majority

      the one’s degree- one’s degree

      doctor or teachers- doctors

      For more clarity- unnecessary

      MBBS- an

      BP 2: better- lucrative

      result into- results

      trained- a trained

      For instance- already used in BP 1- substitute take for example

      major- required

      BP 3: communications- communication

      Conclusion: will always- can professionally boost- rephrase our career

      BAND SCORE: 4.5/6 Good work. Keep writing!

      • Jasmeet

        Member
        July 23, 2021 at 2:53 PM
        430 Network Points
        Activity Points 1620

        Will surely take into account.

        Thanks for the feedback.

  • Faizal

    Member
    July 22, 2021 at 6:53 PM
    100 Network Points
    Activity Points 500
    • Anureet

      Member
      July 23, 2021 at 8:48 AM
      140 Network Points
      Activity Points 15810

      Introduction- believed- believe

      Paraphrase clearly

      Valuable- important

      BP 1: help- can help in

      Easier- easily

      show- shows

      significant- significance

      Are required- is required

      performing- perform

      courses- companies

      Equip- incorrect word choice

      Prospectice- prospective

      Persuasive- persuasion

      can take you to the position- can help one in becoming a leader

      Working- work

      Conclusion- summarise main points more clearly

      Band Score: 3/6 Keep writing!

  • rahul

    Member
    July 23, 2021 at 9:12 AM
    0 Network Points
    Activity Points 150

    There is always a dilemma among teenagers to get a job or pursue higher studies after finishing school. While some people believe getting experience and developing soft skills is more beneficial after school, I would argue that completing a University education could pave brighter opportunities for securing a lucrative job.

    It is always tempting to start working immediately after finishing school for several reasons. The option to earn money at a very young age is the biggest motivator among teens. Furthermore, it also makes them financially independent, which lets them enjoy life on their terms. Moreover, they gain experience in handling real-world problems and develop soft skills, which boost their confidence and gives a head start to a successful professional life.

    On the other hand, I believe that having a higher education is beneficial in many aspects. Firstly, young people need to master a skill before entering the job world. For instance, it is quite impossible to become a doctor or an engineer without having appropriate training in that respective field. Secondly, the job market is becoming highly competitive, which prefers candidates with a degree in their respective domain. For example, there are thousands of applicants for only a few open positions in a job role, making it difficult for the employer to select the right candidate. So, having a degree gives an edge over other candidates while applying for any such job vacancies in the market.

    To summarize, several factors could lead students to start working early, but in my opinion, they are more likely to succeed in their careers if they continue to study beyond the school level.

    • Anureet

      Member
      July 23, 2021 at 9:27 AM
      140 Network Points
      Activity Points 15810

      Introduction: paraphrased only half of the question

      include main points in the thesis statement

      BP 1: teens- teenagers

      boost- boosts

      which- and

      such job- job

      Conclusion- use conclusion liners instead of to summarise

      the conclusion is clearly written

      BAND SCORE: 4.5/6 Good job. Keep writing!

  • shrestha

    Member
    July 23, 2021 at 1:42 PM
    0 Network Points
    Activity Points 400
    • Anureet

      Member
      July 23, 2021 at 3:54 PM
      140 Network Points
      Activity Points 15810

      Introduction- carrer- career

      Proficiency- proficiency in skills

      Good career prospects- a good career prospect

      BP 1: easier- easy

      Institutional degree- degree

      The other- others

      One of the key factor- factors

      Correlative comparative is correct- Good

      BP 2:

      In squad: in a squad

      Conclusion- summarise the main points

      Band Score:3.5/6 Keep writing!

  • Sarabjeet

    Member
    July 26, 2021 at 1:13 PM
    20 Network Points
    Activity Points 400
    • Anureet

      Member
      July 26, 2021 at 3:52 PM
      140 Network Points
      Activity Points 15810

      INTRODUCTION: other- others

      good developing- developing

      soft skills are- soft skills is

      Thesis statement- state main points clearly

      BP 1: individual have- has

      them- him

      bring- brings

      their- his

      BP 2:

      uplift- enhances

      factual- theoretically

      to where- where

      enter directly- start working directly

      in jobs- in different sectors

      give- gives

      for instance- For instance

      continued- continue

      advance their- advance in their

      professional- professional qualification

      filed of doctors and teachers- like in the field of medicine and teaching

      untrained- unskilled person

      Conclusion :

      life a – live a

      will- can

      make balance- make a balance

      to him/her- for him/her

      change- chance

      BAND SCORE: 3/6 Keep writing!

  • Sanjay

    Member
    July 26, 2021 at 8:14 PM
    20 Network Points
    Activity Points 310
  • Sai koushik

    Member
    July 27, 2021 at 7:06 PM
    0 Network Points
    Activity Points 210

    It is considered by some that people that university education is key to get a good job while others believe it is better to have experience and soft skills. In this essay, I will look at both sides of the argument and give my opinion.

    Firstly, some people believe that it is easy to get a job if they are university graduates with a good degree. In recent times, competition to get into universities has increased significantly. Because it provides a great opportunity to develop new skills and gain knowledge. So people having university degree qualifications are more likely to find work easily and they can earn higher salaries. It also helps them to socialize and build a professional network among the people which benefits them to find references to get the desire job.

    On the other hand, a vast majority of people believe that having experience and skills such as leadership skills, time-management skills, problem-solving skills and other interpersonal skills are mostly hired by employers. This will benefits the companies by reducing training costs and time therefore, it helps the companies to gain more profits. Moreover, an experienced person has a good understanding of the work environment and able to cope with the work.

    Finally, In my opinion, getting a job depends on the position you applied for. For example, teaching, medicine and engineer fields you required university education. It is impossible to get into these fields without proper educational background. In contrast, some jobs like marketing, sales, etc., required work experience and soft skills to attract clients and customers.

    In conclusion, I believe getting a job needs a relevant background either in experience or education depending upon the job type. However, people should make sure to attain the skill or degree before applying for a job.

  • Rohini

    Member
    July 29, 2021 at 12:25 AM
    0 Network Points
    Activity Points 200
    • Anureet

      Member
      July 29, 2021 at 3:29 PM
      140 Network Points
      Activity Points 15810

      INTRODUCTION: paraphrase the question statement along with a thesis statement incorporating the main points

      BP1: provide- can provide

      so that a industry- so that he can become industry ready

      with required- with the required

      provide- provides

      test- tested

      basis- basics

      we- Don’t write we or I in a formal essay

      Conclusion: summarise your main points

      ADD RELEVANT DETAILS.

      BAND SCORE: 2.5/6 Keep writing!

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