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    Posted by Unknown Member on August 29, 2022 at 1:45 PM

    Some people say that feeling of competition should be encouraged in children others say they should be taught to become cooperative. What is your opinion?

    Sheeba replied 1 year, 7 months ago 6 Members · 5 Replies
  • 5 Replies

    August 29, 2022 at 2:18 PM

    Nowadays life has become very challenging and to be able to make through challenges children have to be competitive while also learning to be cooperative.

    this essay will discuss the importance of competition for children while working together in cooperation

    To begin with we live in a world full of competition where everyone is trying to be the best and that’s why young minds have to learn to be competitive to keep up with the competition at a very early age. Competitive exams, for instance children have to be competitive in order to pass it.

    on the other hand, working in corporation can make the task more pleasurable furthermore our lives will become easier if we work together not to forget having a quality of cooperation makes us a better human.

    In conclusion, I believe to achieve success being competitive is very essential however being cooperative is required to be a better human and to live life happier. Thus young mind must be taught a good balance between cooperation and competition.

    -lack of coherence and cohesion

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    Overall- 5.5 bands.

  • Vishwas

    August 29, 2022 at 2:29 PM

    It is been observed that human tend to have competitive nature which leads them to push themselves. This can also be taught from the start that how to look at competitive behavior in which manner, so that it may help in their future to grow more. This will be primarily discussed in this essay, looking at both scenarios of competitive and competitive nature in the younger generation.

    Elaborating the topic in detail, it has been stated that children learn majorly from their home or from educational centers which conveys that the one who’ll be teaching them how to or not to react on things are parents of the spouse or the tutor. If we look at the competitive environment then its clear that it will be observed mainly in schools or any education institutes and if we look at collaborative part it will be observed in both.

    Moreover, to that a competitive nature pushes an individual to work hard and a collaborative nature makes you a team person, on the same hand competitive person will be jealous if the competition degrades them and the team person will always be dependent on others to become better. For instance, a racer in a 100m race will have more chances to win then a person who has participated in a relay race of 400m. because 100m racer is not dependent on anyone its all in his/her hand.

    If we talk about my opinion both are good in their own way and it totally depends on the individual either to be competitive or to be collaborative and if its me then I’ll choose to be a competitive person because I believe in growth and am independent as a person.

    -It has been observed-1st sentence

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    -Concluding sentences and paragraph is not well structured.

    Overall-5.5 bands.

  • Lakshya

    August 29, 2022 at 2:31 PM

    Competition has been increased a lot these days and children are being competitive in schools, colleges.
    they should also know to behave kind with others while competitive. This essay is going to discuss about
    how children can achieve things in life with being cooperative.

    To begin with, cooperation is the key to take a good place in society. For instance, it can be helpful for working in an organization or industry.
    In other words, team work is required to be done in order to gain success.

    On the other hands, being competitive is also equally important to be the best of your self.
    Particularly children can learn and develop there selves in school, either in exams or any other school level competition. After all, it can be said one need to be more competitive to achieve more things in life.

    To conclude, competition may help individual to get more aspects of the life. whereas cooperativeness will not be helping in overall growth of children.

    -lack of ideas

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    -lack of lexical resources.

    Overall=5.0 bands

  • bhanu

    August 29, 2022 at 2:35 PM

    -Grammatical errors

    -Lack of cohesion

    Overall= 6.5 bands.

  • Sheeba

    August 29, 2022 at 2:41 PM

    With increased access to newer avenues to showcase your skill, competition and cooperation have been prevalent aspects of an individual’s mundane life. Whilst some believe that the fervor for winning should be encouraged, others believe that teamwork is more crucial. This essay will showcase why being competitive can lead to superior outcomes for children to lead improvised adult lives.

    To start with, team-building can assist fragile minds to understand the importance of being empathetic and compassionate. Consequently, being collaborative aids in learning as they get the opportunity to learn from their classmates. For instance, art has a myriad of options for brush strokes so essentially taking an opportunity to observe peers can assist an individual to learn. For these reasons, the value of contribution and association are taught to youngsters.

    Conversely, being competitive in nature has its own perks as it inculcates a sense of strong leadership within the younger cohort. Keeping that in mind, the kids not only get an opportunity to better themselves but also understand the concept of failure. This enables them to have a flair to keep sharpening the skill at hand. Within sports, for instance, badminton tournaments on multiple levels on a daily basis can give an opportunity for children to work on their flaws. Hence, competition has to help tender minds to resist the hardships of one’s life, but joint effort does not.

    In conclusion, it is probable to believe that combined effort may lead to greater output in excelling from your partners but a competitive spirit helps in becoming independent towards one’s path to success. Ultimately, in my opinion, in the absence of a winning spirit, teamwork can be of no use for youth regarding achievement.

    -Lacks in coherence only.

    Overall- 6.5 bands.

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