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<b style=”font-style: italic;”>Feedback: Made a good attempt to describe the graphs looking at global trends and more detailed figures. There is, however, some information missing and the information is inaccurate in minor areas. The grammatical accuracy is quite good and the language used to describe the trends is well-handled. However, there are problems with expression and the appropriate choice of words and whilst there is good structural control, the complexity and variation in the sentences are limited.
Band 6 -
Feedback: The length of the answer is just acceptable. There is a good attempt to describe the overall trends but the content would have been
greatly improved if the candidate had included some reference to the figures given on the graph. Without these, the reader is lacking some important information. The answer is quite difficult to follow and there are some punctuation errors that cause confusion. The structures are fairly simple and efforts to produce more complex sentences are not successful.
Band 5 -
In my opinion, children should be encouraged to become more competitive, so that it could help them navigate life better. Many aspects of life might cause a child to be burdened with pressure. However, such problems could be avoided with good parenting. Children must learn to comprehend that indolence should be overcome with competitiveness. For example, on the Ellen show, a young boy recalled that competitiveness helped him to conquer life. Thus, such a positive attitude could be portrayed through competitions.
However, there are also certain problems associated with competitiveness. Competitiveness and consciousness go hand in hand to explain that one becomes more competitive, one also becomes more aware of their surroundings and environment. Hence, psychologists have also witnessed several cases that recollected how hostile some children behave when they are faced with failure. For instance, Michigan College had conducted an experiment that concluded that sometimes children could be belligerent due to failure and unhealthy competitions are to blame. Such incidents throw light on the importance of healthy competitions.
To conclude, the need for instilling a healthy sense of competition is decipherable. Competitiveness is like a double-sided coin with which one must be quite careful. Hence, competitiveness should be embedded in children but not at the cost of moral values and virtues.
Feedback: Approach is acceptable, but unnecessary repetition were found in linking words & related words highlighted in bold, need to work on few more sentence types means grammatical range as found really less & thought process to avoid of being marked under the category called memorization highlighted in bold.
Band: 5.5 -
The given tables depicts information about hiw many fairtrade labelled tea and pineapples were sold in the years 2010 and 2015 in five different countries of Europe.
Overall, the sales for tea has increased from the year 2010 to 2015. Apart from the few losses, pineapples had mostly seen greater profit as well in the year 2015.
The sales of tea in France had increased dramatically from 2.5 million euros in the year 2010 to 21 million euros in the year 2015. Austria had it’s profit doubled from 4 to 8 million euros in the corresponding years. Both these countries had seen a significant surge in their sales. On the other hand, Germany, Netherlands, Norway had seen only a very modest rise from 2.8 to 3 , 2 to 2.7, 1.8 to 2 million euros in the years 2010 and 2015 respectively.
Pineapples had seen a sharp rise from 16 million euros to 21 million euros in Austria. France and Netherlands had a slight increase from 2 to 6.5 and 1.6 to 5 million euros in the corresponding years respectively. Surprisingly, Norway and Germany had actually suffered slight losses. Sales in Norway fell from 2.8 to 2 and the profits in Germany declined from 3 to 1.9 million euros.
Feedback: well tried but need to work sentence formation & unnecessary grammar and spelling errors highlighted in bold.
Band: 1/3 -
The tables illustrates information about sales of fairtrade-labelled tea & pineapples in five european countries(france, austria, germany, netherlands & norway) in the year 2010 & 2015.The units are measured in millions of euros.
Overall, it can be implied that sales of both the commodities(tea & pineapples) in most of the european countries is much higher in 2015 as compared to 2010.However in some countries like Norway & Germany sale of pineapple was decreased significantly in 2015 as compared to 2010.Furthermore,Austria had the highest sale of both the commodites in 2010.Also,france had the highest sale of tea in 2015 whereas austria had the highest sale of pineapple in the same year.
It can be seen that, in 2010, sale of tea in france was 2.5 million euroes which rose to almost 10 times in 2015 (21 million euroes).Similar trend is observed for the remaining 4 european countries.For e.g. in case of Austria it can be seen that sale of tea got doubled in 2015(8 million euroes) as compared to 2010(4 million euroes).Furthermore, for the remaining three countries sale of tea increased slightly.
In case of sales of pineapple,it can be observed that, for Austria ,france & Netherlands sale of pineapple increased to 3 times in 2015 as compared to 2010.In Austria sale of pineapple was 16 million euroes in 2010 which increased significantly to 48 milllion euroes in 2015.Similar trend was observed in other two countries(france & Netherlands).Whereas,for the countries like Norway & Germany sale of pieapple decreased drastically.As in 2010 sale of pieapple in Norway & Germany was 2.8 & 3 million euroes respectively which got decreased to 2 & 1.9 million euroes respectively.
Feedback: Really need to work on capital letters found multiple time & unavoidable spelling errors.
Band: 1/3 -
The tables give information about sales of Fairtrade-labelled tea and pineapples in 2010 and 2015 in five European countries.
In 2010, Austria led in Fairtrade of tea sales with 4 million euros, succeeded by Germany and France at 2.8 and 2.5 million euros respectively. The least was recorded by Norway, which was 1.8 million euros and just above it was Netherlands at 2 million euros. In the same year, Austria also led in Fairtrade of pineapple sales at 16 million euros, followed by Germany, Norway and France. Netherlands lagged behind with a gain of 1.6 million euros.
Feedback: God use of content well executed, just try to avoid repetition of structure found in 2nd paragraph highlighted in bold.
Band: 2/3 -
The tables given below illustrates the sales of fairtrade labelled items mainly the tea and pineapple in different countries over the time period of 2010 and 2015.
Overall, the sales of tea as well as pineapple have increased apart from slight variation, from 2010 to 2015 in Austria, France, Netherlands, Norway and Germany.
In France the sales of Tea increased from 2.5 million euros in 2010 to 21million euros in 2015, being higher than pineapples which were 2 million euros in 2010 and 6.5 million euros in 2015. Whereas Austria experienced growth which was much more in pineapple amounting to 48 million euros in 2015 from only 16 million euros in 2010 which is about 3 times while the sales of tea elevated by 2 times.
Although Germany experienced a slight increase in sales of tea but there was a downfall in sales of pineapple from 3 million euros to 1.9 million euros. Following Germany, Netherland also had a slight increase in sales of tea of 0.7 million euros but rather than a decrease there was a tremendous increase in sales of pineapple accounting to more than 3 times in 2015 from that in 2010. Norway follows the similar trend of Netherland and Germany with only small rise of sales of tea from 2010 to 2015 though there was a decrease in pineapple sales similar to Germany which reduced up to one third of the initial sales in 2010.
Feedback: Approach is good, but need to work on unnecessary grammatical error highlighted in bold & also work on specific feature.
Band: 1.5/3
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The tables given below illustrates the sales of fairtrade labelled items mainly the tea and pineapple in different countries over the time period of 2010 and 2015.
Overall, the sales of tea as well as pineapple have increased apart from slight variation, from 2010 to 2015 in Austria, France, Netherlands, Norway and Germany.
In France the sales of Tea increased from 2.5 million euros in 2010 to 21million euros in 2015, being higher than pineapples which were 2 million euros in 2010 and 6.5 million euros in 2015. Whereas Austria experienced growth which was much more in pineapple amounting to 48 million euros in 2015 from only 16 million euros in 2010 which is about 3 times while the sales of tea elevated by 2 times.
Although Germany experienced a slight increase in sales of tea but there was a downfall in sales of pineapple from 3 million euros to 1.9 million euros. Following Germany, Netherland also had a slight increase in sales of tea of 0.7 million euros but rather than a decrease there was a tremendous increase in sales of pineapple accounting to more than 3 times in 2015 from that in 2010. Norway follows the similar trend of Netherland and Germany with only small rise of sales of tea from 2010 to 2015 though there was a decrease in pineapple sales similar to Germany which reduced up to one third of the initial sales in 2010.
