Student Anureet
StudentForum Replies Created
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Introduction- homes- home
them- the statement
BP1: the person- a person
BP2: this goes the same- He follows the same approach for his workplace too
unwantedly- unnecessarily
Tells the character- speaks volumes about his character
Band Score: 4/6 Keep Writing!
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BP 1: he- the candidate
put in a good work to them- put in a good word and pitch your name to them
Add more details
BAND SCORE: 2/3 Keep writing!
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Introduction- paraphrase clearly
Introduction- grap- grab
They easily- they can easily
As we must have seen- As we have observed
reading materials are- reading material is
develop- develops
develope discipline- inculcates discipline
definately reflect- definitely is reflected
BP 2: responsibilities- responsibilities will be
habbit- habit
habbit of determination- fosters determination
person able- person is able
the home- his home
easily able to face- can easily work under pressure of
working scenario- at the workplace
bounted- bound
the houses- their house
chors- chores
working- works
reflect- reflects
organises- organise
As, it- as it- write this sentence with the previous one
Conclusion- give- gives
Clean it- clean
vibes- vibe
Band Score: 3/6 Keep Writing!
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in medical field- on the health care system
resolve- deal
for- of
on day by day- daily
folks- people
is to implement- is by implementing
physical exercises- physical and health education
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humans- collocation mistake- people
online community services- social networking sites or social media platforms
have a massive demerits- have a detrimental effect
on every single person- on the individual
whattsapp- WhatsApp
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Introduction- Paraphrase question statement clearly
shares a major contribution- contributes greatly to happiness
Cash- money
Promote- promotes
BP1: To emabark on- on the one hand
The state- a state
Never feel- would never feel
BP2: As moving further- On the other hand
makes people cherish- can make people happy
As the reason behind, is that- comma is incorrectly used – Start with The reason behind this is that
The another- another
Conclusion- Family pillar- supportive family
Band Score-3/6 Keep Writing!
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Introduction- paraphrase clearly
Write main points which you are going to elaborate in your thesis statement
BP1: vernacular- vernacular language
He/she come across with the problem of making new friends- he/she may face difficulty in making new friends
Do not write personal examples
BP2: to help- for help
Add relevant details
Conclusion- summarise the main points
Band Score:3/6 Keep Writing!
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BAND SCORE- 3/6 Keep Writing!
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On health care- on the health care
education- education classes
fight- tackle
Rest is correct. Keep writing!
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A large majority- A majority
Rest is correct. Keep Writing!
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Band Score: 2.5/3 Keep Writing!
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Introduction- counter- solve
is introducing- is by introducing
rubbish- waste
BP 1: Majority of the waste- A majority of waste
at very- at the very initial stage
in clean treatment- to do waste water treatment
lumps- lump
are common- is common
on roads- on the road
BP2: stricts- strict
infrastructure treating- infrastructure for treating
Penalties- penalty
and- redundant
Fails- fail
Band Score: 3.5/6 Keep Writing
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INTRODUCTION :recycled to the fullest- recycled completely
favoured by some people- according to some people
BP1: who’ll- who will- contractions are not allowed in Formal writing
Clearly written
BP2:
their- there
refer to that- which they can refer to
wasteable- wastage of water
come- made some
BP2: don’t mention the source of the survey
a specific areas- some specific areas
earlier not giving any contributing- people earlier did not contribute in recycling the waste of their home
aware about- aware of
campus- camps
result- resulted
CONCLUSION: impose- imposes
strickly- spelling mistake- strictly
actions- action
makes- makers
BAND SCORE: 3.5/6 Keep writing!
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OPENING STATEMENT: for me- unnecessary
to be temporarily transferred- to transfer temporarily
BP1: for newer- on latest
BP2: the same as before: the same way as before
BP3: would be benefitted- would benefit
Yours sincerely- this is a semi-formal letter. Hence, end with Regards
BAND SCORE: 2/3 Keep Writing!
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INTRODUCTION: reusable- recycling
BP1: elaborate why laws are required
BP2: impact of recycling laws on the general public and along with laws what measures can be taken by the government
Conclusion: summarise your main points
BAND SCORE: 3/6 Give it one more try. Keep Writing!
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INTRODUCTION: paraphrase clearly
people- redundantly used twice
people’s- their
BP1: society a lot- a society that a lot
ecosystems- different ecosystems
BP2: put up: implement
heavy fine is not a law its a punishment
the repeated offenses- repeat offenders
put up clearer ways- spread awareness and issue guidelines on how
Like- For instance,
Also the same for recycling bins- Also, the recycling bins can be made colour-coded
separately can- separately which can
CONCLUSION: I am certain- do not use this phrase in formal essay writing
the increase of- an increase in recycling
BAND SCORE: 3.5/6 Keep Writing!
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INTRODUCTION: some people including me- first paraphrase the question statement then state your opinion in a thesis statement along with the main points which you are going to elaborate on in the subsequent paragraphs.
BP1: kids- children- kids is informal
younger days- formative years
body exercise- exercise
extra physical- physical- you are suggesting to include them in the curriculum. Hence, they are not extra
BP2: child- the child
motivate- can motivate
include- includes
lot of- a lot of
fatness-obesity
CONCLUSION: advantages- advantage
scedules- schedule
BAND SCORE: 3.5/6 Keep Writing!
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Hello Rohini,
I think some glitch happened. I will share feedback.
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INTRODUCTION: paraphrase the question statement along with a thesis statement incorporating the main points
BP1: provide- can provide
so that a industry- so that he can become industry ready
with required- with the required
provide- provides
test- tested
basis- basics
we- Don’t write we or I in a formal essay
Conclusion: summarise your main points
ADD RELEVANT DETAILS.
BAND SCORE: 2.5/6 Keep writing!
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OPENING STATEMENT- about the weak- the weak
bought- which I bought
due to present- due to the present
since- from
i-I
Follow the format of the letter and add relevant details. Your letter is under the word count. It should be 150 words at least.
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INTRODUCTION: paraphrase your question statement without adding any extra information
society responsible- society is responsible
we- don’t include we or I in formal essay writing
The physical education is must- Doing physical education is a must
individual- individuals
leave- live- instead of live write have
enroot- enrooted
Write a thesis statement stating the main points
BP1: cause- causes
World Health Organisation- Don’t quote source while giving an example
The one of the- One of the advanced countries
periods- period
on daily- on a daily
BP2: diseases which- diseases, are creating
CONCLUSION: on above subject-don’t write these phrases
The physical- Physical
The healthy- healthy
lead lower- lower the burden
systems- system
strong nation- make our nation strong.
BAND SCORE:2.5/6 Keep writing!
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BAND SCORE: 4/6 Very well attempted. Good. Keep writing!
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the increase- an increase
believe- believe that
syllabus- curriculum- it’s not entirely incorrect but the curriculum is an umbrella term from which syllabus is derived so don’t paraphrase curriculum
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INTRODUCTION- people, believe- punctuation mistake- remove comma
contributing to- that contribute to
I believe that- In my opinion- clearly shows your opinion
BP1: supplies- condition
For an instance, For instance
guy-highly informal- person
high economy- high economic growth
have- has
BP2: healthiness- health and society
deriving happiness- that spreads happiness
lead go- lead
Conclusion- begin it with the conclusion linker
vitals- vital elements
directed to- towards
BAND SCORE: 3/6
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websites that encourage social networking- social networking websites
person and public- collocation mistake- it will be written as individual and society only because the public is not the same as society.
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In an order- In order
manage with- manage
management has- management faces
Some people think that- paraphrase this too
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opine- incorrect word choice
start with According to many people
facebook, whtasapp- Facebook and Whatsapp
individual- people- collocation mistake- write individual only
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BP1: residing at: a resident of
since ten years- for ten years
since few months- from the past few
bad smell- unbearable odour
including myself- including me
challenges- challenge
houses- house
the monsoon- monsoon
please arrange for-I will be grateful if pest control can be arranged
lumps- lump
Conclusion: your quick response- quick response from your end
BAND SCORE: 2/3 Good. Keep writing!
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INTRODUCTION: paraphrase the question statement
without deep- without having deep
which brings- which can bring
BP1: lot of- a lot of
higher the, the higher the social
enjoys- enjoy
BP2: Contributes- can contribute towards
something- someone
CONCLUSION: offcourse- ofcourse- informal instead use surely, definitely or indeed
shorter- a short
if judiciously- if he judiciously spends his money
capital is used in business
BAND SCORE: 4.5/6 Good. Keep writing!
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Introduction: paraphrase the question statement
we can see- do not use I or we as its a formal task
Overall- add more key features
by 2010- in 2010
As moving further- Start your sentence from the car parking
staff was it- staff it was
The word limit should be 150+. Add more details
BAND SCORE: 1.5/3 Keep writing!
