[Falak]

repetitive usage of word “living, furthermore)

resposible (responsible)

we have a (avoid “a”) certain drawbacks

moreover (it) is increasing

while writing be careful with “t, n, r and so on

keep writing!!

Band: 3/6

[Falak]

give(s) pleasure

childrens’ (children’s)

Band: 4/6

Keep writing!!

[Falak]

of migrating adolescent(s)

culture of people from different background (,) furthermore, they learn to cope with the difficulties themselves.

Moreover (,) it boosts their confidence to live in any circumstances

students has to (have to) learn English

it creates scarcity of skilled student(s) which result(s) talent crunch in their own mother land.

. On one hand, it creates scarcity of skilled student which result talent crunch in their own mother land. The development of the nation depends upon the youngsters. – these two ideas lack cohesion , perhaps one connector is required to complete or link them properly.

Be careful with punctuations.

Band: 3.5/6

[Falak]

The faculty of those universities are (is)par-excellence – faculty is a collective noun

Secondly, getting the job in core mechanical or electrical subject has become a nightmare.(in developing countries)

example in first Body paragraph should have been placed after explaining first reason to maintain cohesion

Very-well written.

Keep writing!!

Band: 4.5/6

[Falak]

water, water transported by waterways increased while transported – sentence is not clear

60 million tonnes of good(s)

the quantity decline(d)

avoid writing “&” instead use “and”

avoid repetition of words like” transportation”

Keep writing!!

Band: 2/3

[Falak]

Kindly upload it in pdf format

[Falak]

so it accommodate(s)

repetitive usage of “amenities”

Band: 2.5/3

[Falak]

Make changes as suggested.

[Falak]

pur chased (purchased)

i (I)

also are (our) school friends

Sentence structure used is very basic , need to include complex, compound.

and Vocabulary , you need to use some less common words and try to avoid repetition of words.

Keep writing!!

[Falak]

enviornment (environment) – spelling errors

Let’s analyse – in formal style of writing, try to follow formal one.

cooprate (co-operate)

We (people) should use the amount of energy they use on daily

Every single (citizen) is responsible

on one hand(,) on the other hand (,) to sum up(,)- make use of punctuation

descharging (discharging)

ilegal (illegal)

takle (tackle)

calamites (calamities)

Feedback : word on spelling errors and sentence structure is very simple and basic , make use of varied range. point of view is also not clear, seems to be contradicting at few places.

Keep writing!!

Band: 2.5/6

[Falak]

write this letter is ( to share one great news with you that I finally relocated) was relocated and shifted to a new house which is located in the same city in the downtown

Bangla )Bungalow)

if you would planning (plan)

I (am) looking forward to hearing from you.

they are two more rooms (which were vacant) have to occupy

Though there is an improvement, there is need to work more on sentence range

Band: 1.5/3

[Falak]

The response is under length , word count should be minimum 150 words

Also being (in) 2 BHK spacious apartment

Yours sincerely(,)

You need to write your full name as well

since word count is not sufficient, you may need to explain some bullet points with relevant details.

Band: 2/3

[Falak]

The availability of public transport is also minimal, (;)consequently (,) I (usually arrive ) arrived at office late and sometimes even missed (misses) the school’s (school) bus for my child. or you could express whole first bullet point in past tense and establish the reason of moving to new location

all amenities which includes (include)

Keep writing!!

[Falak]

There were a (avoid “a”, as reasons are plural) couple of reasons for me

repetitive usage of word “facilities”

Keep writing!!

[Falak]

which my parents was (were) not able

Keep writing!!

[Falak]

Firstly, they need (are /can) to frame policies- since we need to explain why people think it’s government duty

Institutions are the one’s (ones)

I would advise to develop second view equally as the first one, may an example will serve the purpose

Keep writing!!

Band: 4.5/6

[Falak]

Feedback : Answer is developed partially as both the body paragraphs are mentioning about it’s government responsibility while the question demands “discuss both the views” , unfortunately, second view is missing.

[Falak]

repetitive usage of words ( environment

govt. (government) – avoid contractions and short forms

But (I believe) every citizen is responsible – Thesis statement needs to be more assertive

Lack of cohesive devices

some of them has (have) no

. To solve this issue govt. has so spread awareness (This sentence is body paragraph 2 is creating doubts on cohesion, may be it requires further explanation)

netizens (not an appropriate word as per the context) rather use residents, inhabitants

Need to work on vocabulary and sentence structure.

Keep writing!!

Band: 2.5/6

[Falak]

Topic sentence in first body paragraph could be more coherent to the topic, it should be bit specific.

Tone of first body paragraph is what government should do , rather keep these points but present them like reasons why people think it’s government duty.

So, both the governing bodies and their nationals should work on a methodology which will safeguard their existing resources for their future generations.

(So, not only governing bodies but their nationals should work collectively on a methodology which will safeguard their existing resources for their future generations.)

Keep writing!!

[Falak]

accounataible (accountable)

regulatory bodies has (have)

necessary for (avoid) to plant trees

compulsory ( repetitive usage, use mandate)

then harmful gases (will not be) released in environment

individuals also plays (play)

one of my friend (One of my friends)

didn’t planted (plant)

Go through tenses and understand the rules. Sentence structure also needs to be improved.

Band: 2.5/6

[Falak]

safeguarding our society (some word related to environment will be more appropriate here)

laws to maintain our surrounding, however, (however is not necessary as “while” is serving the purpose)

Regulatory authority (repetitive usage)

private vehical’s (vehicles) on road

laws laid of (by) government a success

when it comes to taking care of their 9own) and everyone’s health,

their surrounding’s (surroundings) clean

f vehicals. (vehicles)

citizen’s (citizens)

does not (do not) understand the importance

Need to understand “apostrophe” usage, be careful with spellings

Keep writing!!

band: 3/6

[Falak]

preservation of biodiversity. (biodiversity may not be the appropriate word)

body paragraph 1 is stating ” what government should do”?, whereas question is something else.

like ganga (Ganga)

Band: 4/6

[Falak]

As you will see from this graph, (as it can be observed)

high yield group and average yield group contributed almost 45 million pounds and 33 million pounds towards the purchase of Hamburger. (respectively)

in comparison to another category (categories)

Keep writing!!

band : 2/3

[Falak]

Yours Sincerely (sincerely,)

I request you to provide your approval as I feel (believe) this plan would – formal tone

Grammar range has certainly room for improvement, different sentence structures could be included.

KEEP WRITING!!

Band: 2/3

[Falak]

Yours faithfully(,)

I would request you

I am ok to travel

I will ensure that the ongoing

I have Mr. Joel

I would request you to suggest

I will ensure

I would appreciate

almost all the sentences are starting with similar structure, there is need to work on sentence structure.

Keep writing!!

Band: 1.5/3

[Falak]

Furthermore, it helps (will help) me in getting global exposure

I can ensure (I ensure you) that I can deliver my work in a timely manner.

Yours Faithfully, (faithfully,)

Feedback : task achievement, coherence is well established. Good effort to use different sentence ranges and lexical resources.

Keep writing!!

Band: 2.5/3

[Falak]

professional reason(s)

My husband got project in Texas from his company for couple of months and (and is not required) so he has to move to USA.

I want to join him as our head office is also in USA for some time so that I can get exposure for working in different country. ( I want to join him for sometime , and fortunately, our head office is also in USA where I can get great exposure for (while) working.

Moreover(,) there is vacancy

fulfill both the objective(s)

Band: 2/3

[Falak]

Do mention the units of measurement in introduction itself.

)Overall,) It can be said that the high income and average income group have spent the most on hamburger. However, fish & chips were favored by low-income family

Try to avoid repetitive usage of words, use synonyms or try to mend structure.

Keep writing!!

Band: 2/3

[Falak]

about expenditure of (on) fast foods in millions (pounds) by three income groups

I would advise to follow the structure as discussed in the class. There is need to write overview and no conclusion is required.

No cohesive devices have been used to establish cohesion

comparison of data is required and sentence structure needs to be improved.

No Band score as candidate needs to work on all possible parameters.

[Falak]

has made the easy life (life easy) for human beings.

Sentences like ” I reckon”, and

In the forthcoming paragraphs, discuss its merits and demerits of it with a logical conclusion. – avoid these as they come under memorized structures.

so no one goes (was allowed to go) outside of the home – past tense

many had felt the tired,(tiredness) – make use of correct forms

tackle this diesis (disease)

Secondly, these days all the events become online so folks don’t take interest in such a function which impacts the knowledge of the culture. (this reason is not fully developed and hence can raise question on task achievement, some arguments are partially developed)

disadvantages like (leads to noxious lifestyle…) being destructive the personal and social life

Band: 3.5/6