Faculty Falak
FacultyForum Replies Created
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lead unwanted to financial crisis. (lead to unwanted financial crisis.)
Introduction is just presenting your view , not the paraphrasing
Recently (,) my friend’s
Under-usage of cohesive devices.
Band: 4/6
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I happen to have (an) acquaintance with Mr. Boni
scincerley, (spelling errors)
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Band: 2.5/3
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e procedure involved (involves)
for creation of cement (“for” is not required)
er; moreover, (furthermore)
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financials of it (it-?)
detrimental ( wrong usage , meaning of detrimental : harmful)
quiet (quite)
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in the contemporary world,
in brightening their future
for instance (,)
which has developed the habit of budget management. in them
is introduced in the school ( , ) pupils
good attempt, great improvement.
task achievement , lexical resources , sentence range is there, be careful with punctuation.
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tone is appropriate so is the vocabulary.
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Band : 2.5/3
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a year
I could not attend
to make up for my absence
not spent time together from last few years
it is the best opportunity
convenience
despite the……. (,)
while answering second bullet point, the tone is bit inappropriate.
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Band: 2/3
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my husband will be out of the town that time due to some office commitments. (, so ) So, he can’t join me in that trip. (it can be a compound sentence) \
the next name came to my mind was your name ( the next name came to my mind was yours)
vocabulary could be better.
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Band: 2/3
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i (I) am really sorry that i (I) did not
and (I am) planning to travel and explore new things with you.
Last week(,) i (I) had done shopping from
there was (were) some coupon
r i am (was shocked) in shocked
cannot (couldn’t) believe that my
one of the fascinating place(s)
It is famous for their (its) beautiful beaches
who came (come)
third bullet point has not been addressed, partially developed response
Paragraphing is inappropriate
Need to work grammar accuracy.
Basically, there is need to work on all the four parameters.
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the new housing system have (has) played
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led to the flourish (word form is not accurate) of many modern
there is (a) problem of
un built (unbuilt) land area
decrease (shortage) in un built land area,
hosing (housing) projects
which involves (involve) building of apartments in
modern houses all bears the same look. (all modern houses)
its dweller(s)
hence takes (take) away the dependency
(In conclusion)It is unfortunate that one has to let go of cultural heritage
conclusion should give an indication on reasons as well
second part of the question (opinion) needs more explanation
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due to …….., has led to ( faulty structure)
material are (is) vulnerable
b.P 1 lacks the cohesion (the last part)
it (they) depicted
lack of cohesion and coherence throughout the essay
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they have lost its (their) touch with
that (older) the olden establishments had,
To achieve this (,)
as in future we are only (will ) remained
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increase of the (rocketing) land prices
people all over the world (are) purchasing those apparatuses
which is a (the) main reason of global warming.
according to me (I reckon)
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rectify ( may not be the right word to use)
such a comfortable circumstance would results (result)
family meet (fulfills)
\they grew (grow) up like arrogant and stubborn
with its’ (its)
but also on jobs (on career prospects)
single parents often chose (choose) to loosen their authoritative rules
inept in (at) money management
Great use of lexical resources. Well-done. Take care of the points I mentioned above
Band: 4.5/6
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bad : detrimental, adverse
it also effect (affects)- understand the difference between affect and effect
changes gives (give)
people think (profess) that
metrological (meteorological)
people from other country (countries)
generating giving (choose one either generating or giving) business
tibet (Tibet)
I was looking for more affirmation in conclusion as in introduction.
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While certain individuals support the basement with (higher) education
elementary education.(schooling)
(On the one hand,) Work perfection can be obtained by experience alone. In other words, non-supporters
South Africa, for instance has, the most efficient and effective workforce even if the country lacks enough learning facilities
The activities (professions)
reputation ( productivity)
thus segregate(d) the CVs on file under
aftermath (its a noun, not verb) the company to suffer financially
specialty (specialist) doctor
n conclusion, the aforementioned explanation is enough to pen down that while some jobs require no further education than the elementary one, other sophisticated works indeed need skilled workers with good educational accomplishments. (change the order)
band: 4/6
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or instance, in 1980s, the researchers introduced a DNA modified wheat grain. Unfortunately, their cultivation had been stopped by the authority ( present this is as one sentence
? Its’ (it’s)
Its’ because the outcome is better than (that) of these drawbacks.
To recapitulate(,)
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Band: 4/6
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In Introduction, similar sentence structure , humans ….. however, humans…… ( paraphrase it effectively)
make sure “r” and “u” should be clear. There are certain words which I failed to understand because of this.
second body paragraph has not been presented as question demanded , it talks about the solutions we have to combat the situation, but question was what are the other opportunities. It is inclined to partially developed essay.
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Band: 3/6
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Although the law and order of a nation are (is) established
they did not bother (are not bothered ) about the judiciary punishment,
, if the court (court/legal system/judiciary system/law authorities) produce (considers) death sentences for serious crimes,
then this repetitive violence will go obsolete.( will diminish)
due to certain humanitarian concerns (on humanitarian grounds)
suggests (suggest) to go for minor
human are not ought to (should not/ must not)
I reckon
repeated usage of word “safety” , you can use harmony, balance, well-being, protection
Band: 3.5/6
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“pursued” may not be the right word to use here
rest of the things will be discussed in the class as certain words are not clear to read
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During these session(s)
I have explored different cuisines (keep it in “past indefinite” since you are specifying the time in past) including international and same time learnt about the various taste(s)
Moreover(,) the chef’s (chefs) and trainer’s (trainers) were well experienced
terms of flexibility and (requests for compensatory sessions) compensatory classes request made by students in due course of time.
specials (special) dishes
where in all of the recipe(s)
chef’s (chef) – need to understand the difference between chef’s and chefs
Recently(,) I prepared couple of dishes for my colleagues and they all like (liked) the taste, – recently is always followed by comma
my cooking today(;) however (,) missing the skills of baking , which is (are) quite important
I did shown (show) my interest
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fully covered with (a) lot of
, I am excited to inform (inform may not be the right word to use here) you that
I tried different kind(s) of new dishes
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I love this course and learn a lots of new cuisine, – You need to present in “past” tense since the course is completed
which I had never know (which I was not even aware about)
form (from) a famous Italian
which help (helped) me a lot to understand basics of italic (Italian- proper noun) food preparation
two family function(s)
parsing (praising)
where me and many other students (where many others and I) can learn about the cooking practices
Feedback : There is need to pay attention toward past tense and it’s usage , cuisine is “Italian” not “Italic”
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will pen down with (not required) my thought of uplifting both the economic and other related (crucial) aspects of each country.
need to work on conditional structures
band: 4/6
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in the following paragraph(s)
natural phenomena, which may bring (is responsible/ can cause) the Tsunami, Cyclone, draught
cyclone or blood (flood) hits.
company may become bankruptcy. (bankrupt)
In addition to this (,) working professional
Hence (,) this will directly Impact on (“on is not required) the business
above will (have adverse/ detrimental) impact on the business
the hospitals (need) to be setup.
industries needs to be setup (Industrial growth will be witnessed)
For instance (,)
I would say climate change is badly (has negative impact on business) effect the business rather than the positive impact
Band : 3/6
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explosion (explanation) of my opinion
is affecting to “to” is not required) agriculture
cyclones (force people ) to change the habitat
For instance(,)
Mango session (season) start(s)
have not get mangoes (?) – faulty sentence structure
develope (develop)
has (is) affecting
in my consider (opinion)
To conclusion (conclude)
explanations are not effective especially in B.P 2 and there is strong need to work on basic sentence structure and tenses.
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if everyone seat (sits) together
seats (sits)
is truly effecting (effective)
example in B.P 1 talks about poor infrastructure in order to make it more coherent, quote the fact open space layouts
certain words are quite repetitive ( seating , sitting)
Band: 3.5/6
keep writing!!!
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in (on/at) our personal level – make right use of preposition
in the workplace the (there are) changes
portary (portray)
not only merits , demerits but conclusion/opinion also
there is no need to use “for instance” in introduction
defoliated may be not right word to use
when any person is newly appointed, they have (he has)
try to avoid the usage of “we” ,”I” until and unless they are asking your opinion
there is need of one concession statement in B.P 2 , to state your opinion
I believe effective proof reading is required as at times sentences lack helping verbs or so.
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from there (their) own
the correct usage is “Not only…..but also”
sunder pichai (Sunder Pichai)- proper noun
to deal with this (,)
appeating (appealing)
one of the example(s)
almost all the sentences in B.P 2, are monotonous in structure (must)
Would like to see more dependent clauses / complex structures.
Good effort with lexical resources.
Band: 3.5/6
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