Faculty Falak
FacultyForum Replies Created
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while others beleive (believe)
now a days (nowadays)
cultivated a( a is not required) good manners in him.
However, in contrast to that sometimes its also important to correct the notrious ones, in such a way that they realise their mistakes and get motivated to work for good. (just put one sentence that can justify the punishment should not impact the student adversely)
Overall progression can be observed. Task achievement has been achieved. Definitely, there is room to improve the use of sentence range. Keep writing!!
Band: 4/6
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people harms (harm) helpless animals
, the reason behind this (these) activities is the traditional culture
which thousands of bulls performed (perform)
Generally, people sold (sell) animals
many habitat animals (vulnerable species) reach to the stage of extinction.
In the end, I want to conclude that (In conclusion)
Be careful with grammatical errors, maintain the tense in a sentence.
Band: 3.5/6
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blood sports are always criticized due to inhuman (behavior)
I undoubtedly believe that these kind of sports should be treated as illegal and should (there is need to) educate the people more about it therefore (to prevent) we can prevent these kind of activities happening in future.
As a illustration (,) in the Southern part of India
festival called Jallikattu were (where) they
it encourages the people to continue the (these) sports.
For instance(,) in some part of Africa
it’s necessary to (for) the Authorities to take certain action to prevent (safeguard) the animals.(from such brutal activities)
Make sure to use punctuation wherever required.
Band: 3.5/6
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I’m experiencing in the drop down of internet speed (,) this interrupts my work
still the issue have (has) not been fixed
therefore(,) it would be appreciable
Since the bullet point asking about how people in your area getting affected, I am afraid no information regarding this has been mentioned. Hence, the task achievement is not justified.
Band: 1.5/3
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in figure ‘B’ the situation changed (changes) drastically, – keep it in present tense , as the entire process has been explained in present only.
Well- executed, though explanation in feature paragraph could be more effective; suction process could be explained better
Keep writing!!
Band : 2/3
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There is clear overall progression throughout the essay , task achievement has been achieved. The only part which can be effective is sentence structure. Use conjunctions and cohesive devices to reduce the verbosity.
Don’t use capital letters after commas.
Keep writing!!
Band: 4/6
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The pie chart displayed below represents multiple factors contributing to the selection of mode of transportation (to work) between bicycle and car.
Complete the task in 20 minutes, maintaining the word count.
Details and data has been presented well
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college is mandatory to (for) successful career,
which is helps (which helps) them to acquire real time experience
one of my friend(s)
after working there (for) 3-4 years, now he is promoted to assistant level job which helps him to (become) stable financially
After completing their higher education, they can get equally paid job (needs more explanation, to establish cohesion)
one of my colleague(s)
band: 4/6
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Most people agree that pursing at (not required) university or college is a best path to progress their carrier, (career)
I strongly advocate education from university can lead to (better) career prospects.
as the world is modernising and (technology is bringing rapid changes) rapid change in technology.
make use of cohesive devices to increase the readability.
So, education play(s) a crucial role in one’s life.
Develop the second view equally as the view one, before stating your own opinion (question demands)
Band: 3/6
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overall progression can be clearly observed, but the sentence structure needs to be varied.
band: 2/3
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I am writing to express my interest (to work) in the company
he showed me a demonstration of what I have taught him throughout that (those) session(s)
Band : 2/3
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This might be due (to) damage
when this kind (of) problem persists.
It is advised to follow the structure like each bullet point in distinct paragraph along with supporting details. Develop all the bullet points with explanation.
Keep writing!!!
Band: 2/3
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In the growing years of students (student’s) life,
it act(s) as boon
the above reason(s) provide
Lexical resources could be improved. otherwise, well- written , task achievement and cohesion has been maintained throughout.
Band: 4.5/6
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Introduction is incomplete, not stating the solutions.
if everyone in the family uses their private transport to commute (,) (it will result in road jam) as a result it enlarges the road jam.
B.P 1, is mentioning solutions, stick to pattern as discussed in class . Single idea per paragraph
If over bridge (is) available
More bicycles path can help to less logjam although (moreover,) it is reduces the air pollution as well. –
no other vehicle are (is) allowed on that lane
conclusion is again focusing the solution, “causes” part has not been discussed. Hence, not summarizing the paragraph completely
Band: 3/6
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the vital solutions to overcome the problems like building better roadways, flyovers and also encourage citizens to use public transport. ( the vital solutions like building better roadways, flyovers and also encourage citizens to use public transport. to overcome the (this) problem)
As population is increasing day by day, so (there is more) more demand for automobiles and more private vehicles on roads.
, in bus depot of Azadpur (,) an urban area in Delhi
there is (are) no well organised roads
karala, (Karala)- proper noun
the situation becomes worsening.( even more worse)
over use of “so” is making all the sentences monotonous. Try to use other cohesive devices or conjunctions as well. Do make use of punctuation marks. Lexical resources can be improved
Band: 3.5/6
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taking various kind(s)
we are witnessing more number of vehicle(s)
For instance (,) Delhi transportation
no other vehicle(s) are allowed to drive on the (same) lane
It (has) decreased time of travelling as (hence,) it encouraged people to travel in public transportation (more often) and it decreased 25% traffic of the city by following such unique solution.
Solution could be more effective, as it is just mentioning the solutions (not exactly what all is present in introduction)
Be careful with punctuation marks. At times, monotonous sentence structure has been observed, work on range.
Band: 3/6
keep writing!!
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in (In) the year 1995 (,)
opposite to it we have (had) multiple shops
grouping and comparison of structures would have been appreciated.
band: 2/3
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cycle of crushing(,) mixing and grinding
where powder (powdered) materials are mixed precisely.
well – written ,with good overall progression and apt use of lexical resources.
keep writing!!!
Band: 2.5/3
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make the foods more danger (dangerous) to consume.
second body paragraph is mentioning the unexplored health concerns that may arise with the consumption of GM foods, somehow this is nothing but extension of reason mentioned in B.P 1. Hence, the answer has been not developed fully, it requires one other reason to mention in B.P 2, along with examples.
In my opinion (In conclusion,) , As GM foods will have lot of chemicals
word count : 253 words
Band: 2.5/6
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The table(s)depicts (depict)
s followed a (an) upward trend
word “decline” got repetitive usage , it could be replaced with other verbs
Band: 2.5/3
keep writing!!!
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The given table (tables) illustrates (illustrate)
the population of continent like Asia, Europe and North America (is) estimated (to follow ) decreasing trend
compared to year 1950 that is (which was) 2.5 billion
In year 2050, residents of Africa predicted (distribution ) as 20% of total population which is 7% and 11% higher than year 2000 and 1950 respectively.
Population of Europe and North America (has) shown gradually
Lathe America and Oceania is (has) decrease in year 2000 as compared to 1950 but no change (is) estimated in year 2050.
Band: 2/3
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Example If we try to browse the google.com it takes at least 10 mins to show page OR else if no connection then we get an error “Internet connection error, contact with your service provider for a better experience” (not required) ; do keep time track while attempting letter, writing such an elaborated content may take major portion of the allotted time. Stick to the pattern as discussed in the class.
Band: 2/3
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interruption of my wifi service (interruption in my internet connection)
body paragraph 2 , should give more details about how you and other people are getting affected by this interruption.
word limit of minimum 150 words needs to be maintained.
Sentence structure should be improved.
Band: 1/3
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household share of investing (spending on) in essential items
overall (Overall,) the information
food and clothing saw (observed) / underwent) a downtrend
medicine and household goods are (were) the lowest budget
lowest budget necessities in china (China) – proper noun
Band : 2/3
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The above pie chart (charts) gives (give) information
Which can be attributed to current generation’s body goals and income. The implementation of one-child policy can also be a reason for decrease in food budget. (not required)
which can be a result of new illnesses and adulteration of food. (not required)
clearly the task has not been fully developed. Word count is less. Grouping and comparison of data is missing.
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as it will improves (improve)
longer shelf life of foods. (will be increased)
one of the main reason(s)
though (through) this technique
Rice have (has) been modified
conclusion should have elements of question.
Band: 4/6
keep writing!!
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To instance, (for instance)
But this modification results in less nutrients (lack of nutrients)
with the intention to increase (food) production (to feed the ever increasing population)
Band: 4/6
keep writing!!
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that is people face in there (their) day to day life in cities is traffic congestion. (faulty sentence structure)
no proper infrastructure, (improper infrastructure)
with out (without)
Furthermore, improper functioning of traffic signals and absence of traffic police. (is another cause of traffic jams)
For instance, an article published in a popular newspaper they(not required) quoted malfunctioning of traffic lights was primary reason. behind this congestion issue)
Proper education (regarding traffic rules) should be provided to citizens before hitting the roads.
government implement(s)
bookcases (book cases)
sentences are incomplete or partially developed reasons, sentence structure should be improved.
Band: 2.5/6
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as it will be an exploitation of natural vitamins as well as for (its) health concerns. (are still unknown)
It will be hard for people to found (find) out easily. (this sentence is not justifying the context, lacks cohesion)
it was bio product (of) two hybrid coconut, (coconuts)
I believe people should protect the natural products therefore (faulty use of cohesive device) it will safeguard our health in future.
bio-diversity. (since this point has been mentioned in conclusion, I would suggest to elaborate this in one of the body paragraphs too)
Band: 3.5/6
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overcome (fulfill) general human requirements.
the area has observed increased tourism. (not stated in map)
well -written , keep writing!!
Band: 2/3
